Greeks, vain, arguments and Football. (Long)

[Mysterious Gurl]

My title does seem pretty random but those words represent feelings that affect me. I live with my boyfriend and his Mum. I have moved towns and everything is great. I attend a great College, I enjoy my course, I'm meeting a lovely new circle of friends and it's a challenging experience which I'm loving every minute of. However there are a few things that disrupt everything from appearing perfect. My boyfriend his half Greek so he has both English and Greek relatives. I am bare English myself. However, some of his Greek relatives love to comment on how English I am and to be honest, I find it rather insulting. Sometimes they all speak the Greek language, or make Greek dishes, or talk about Cyprus etc ... and I don't mind at all, in fact I find it rather interesting. However they sometimes like to mention how I "don't understand their traditions or language" which you know, I don't. My boyfriends God Sister who is a year younger than me likes singing lyrics out loud that are aimed directly at me for example "her face is so white and pasty" and then looks at me and smiles. am actually very pale.

 

The other night one of his relatives was going on about how the English are "filthy" because we was our dishes in a bowl of water rather than keeping the tap running to wash the plates. It's just general remarks like that, that make me feel insulted and uncomfortable. Some of his relatives come accross very vain, like going on about how beautiful they are and what lovely toned skin they have and how England is nothing compared to their wonderful Cyprus . I get pretty fed up with it, especially when my other half talks and talks about Cyprus and how he's come from there and he does it in a way that he's practically rubbing my face in it.

 

My boyfriend and his Mum argue a lot. A small argument will escalate in to a massive row and they both start losing their tempers. There's no swearing or physical aggression but I feel a bit pressured and awkward. I don't like listening to them argue or watching my other half getting riled up. I just sit in my room and then the atmosphere becomes increasingly tense. The thing is I don't know this city well enough to go out on my own so I am trapped in doors which is a nuisance.

 

My final problem is Football. (This may seem a little pathetic). His family support one team and I support another. The only problem is they're both rivals. I wasn't allowed to bring anything Football related when I moved because it would annoy him. I brought my shirt and that was about it. I can't even wear it because he makes me feel bad about it. He even said:

 

"I hate that when I come home, you're wearing that shirt because it feels like you're cheating on me with your Football team".

 

To be honest I learnt to overcome the fact he supports another team and now it doesn't bother me in the least. But he just can't seem to accept that I support a rival team. I can't help it. I am not changing. So now I can't watch Football or cheer on my team, I can't lay on my bed and look at my posters, I can't even talk about Football with friends because I know it just annoys him too much. Fair enough we all have to make sacrifices when we live with our partners. But I have sacrificed my friends, family, College and my home comforts and routines to be with him.

 

I do enjoy living here. I think I made a great choice and I believe it's going to prove to be a very successful and independent choice too. But these small things feel too crucial to ignore. I just want to know how I can just brush this off without it becoming a massive resentment. I love his family, they’re all nice people but I can’t approach them about it because I feel I have no right. This is probably everyday living for them but I can’t adapt to it too well.

 

Thanks for reading and I hope it doesn't seem like a load of babble. >.

 

MG x

[d24]

i'm gunna take a stab in the dark and say if you're in the UK they support Arsenal and you support Tottenham.

 

Anyways back on subject.

 

I am half Greek Cypriot and half English. My Father's side of the family are all Greek Cypriot and have always referred to me as their 'English grandchild' which annoys me to no end because they dont NEED to quantify it, they're just doing it to piss me off.

 

Greeks are strange creatures. They are very proud people (in general) and very vain. Greeks marry Greeks and the older generations can't get out of this mentality. My mum has horrific experiences imposed on her such as them wanting her to dye her hair black from blonde to 'fit in' with family photos, for her to name me Michaelakis after my grandfather as in Greek tradition (close shave there for me! lol), them having to have 2 weddings because they refused to acknowledge them as married till they had a Greek Orthodox Priest perform a traditional Greek ceremony... etc etc...

 

What my Mum did was simple. She learnt Greek and didn't tell anyone directly except my Dad who helped her learn. Then one day she just broke out into fluent speaking after catching a snide remark from my bappou. Over time they still haven't accepted her so she's come to a descision that she doesn't need to spend time with them - she married my Dad not their fmaily - so their contact (and thusly the constant jibes) have been minimalised.

 

I'm not saying you need to learn Greek - because it's harder than you think... but it might be a good way to get more involved in their discussions.

 

If they keep talking about how great Cyprus is challenge them and say "you should take me then, I'd love to see it" - you'll see how fast they shut up. Either that or you'll get to go. Win win.

 

Good luck, anything specific please mail me, i'd be happy to help!

 

giasou!

 

Note: in general, Greeks have tempers and they shout - its the way. I'm sure you're gunna hear many "Ade Reh!" shouts, but it's just normal. as far as I know!

 

oh and a side note - this might win you a few brownie points - tel them how you think it's a disgrace that the Turks stole the Cypriot Delights and that they're being marketed worldwide as Turkish Delights... that usually makes everyone in my Greek family go mental with discussions lol...

[Siriana]

I live with my boyfriend and his Mum.

 

Bad idea.

If I lived with my bf AND his mom there would be dead people in the house.

If you live with his family you need to accept a lot of things and sometimes you need to agree fot the sake of compromise.

In the long term it'sd a hard situation.

Agreeing with your partner is more than enough.

But this way you have to copromise with the rest of the family on everyday basis.

It's not healthy for a young marriage/live together relationship.