Pain go away!! Why won't she realize!? hurts so bad!!

[CP4Life]

I love this girl with all my heart even though she broke my heart for no reason at all. Yeah, we are both young and have plenty of life ahead of us but that still doesn't mean I can't feel the pain or love someone because I love her a lot and feeling so much pain at the same time.

 

It's been almost 3 months since we split up(I have gotten better and made some good progess). We were each other's first everything, anything you can think of we were each others first. I'm happy that she'll be the person I'll always remember but I rather have her be the person I live with forever then a person I remember but I can't choose unfortunately. She did nothing wrong, I did nothing wrong. She was amazing, she would do anything for me as well as I would do anything for her. She is a GF that any guy would love to have, just willing to make you very happy and do anything for her. We just love to make each other feel happy and feel good. The relationship was incredible, nothing wrong about it. I did nothing wrong for who to break up with me, I gave her my all, everything I could offer and she loved it. She loved everything I did and she just had a beautiful smile to go with it. We also talked about it all to, after HS was going to be where our relationship really hit the next step and I wish it still does. It broke my heart because after she promise me all these things including accepting my promise ring, I put my heart towards her. I went beyond anything and did everything I possibly could for her so we could last a long time. Everything was going so good, everything was like perfect. Since she lost her virginity to me, she loved our sex life. She loved what I did for her in bed, she couldn't get enough of it because I was really good at what I do.

 

All that positive in the relationship, not to mention that we had so much in common...some unique common as well. So we had a great communication relationship, we could talk about anything and do anything, just be ourselves. Wasn't scared to act however we wanted to infront of each other. I mean, it's kind of hard to find all these positive things in a relationship, seem so perfect and she just can't realize that. Out of no where, she said it's over. Said her feelings changed since a innocent with my friend making her feel really bad and started to cry. She also said we will probably go back out after we broke up, said "you know I'll always care about you and love you." She wanted to be "best friends, close friends, friends with benifits." Ever since the break up, we talked a lot some weeks, saw each other a lot some weeks and then some weeks we harely talk or see each other. We had sex 3 times, one time on my bday and one her bday, and the other time where we are just sexually attracted to each other that we still love to make each other feel good.

 

I can't imagine her with anyone doing all the things we did, it just hurts and when I see with a guy walking doing the stuff we did, it hurts. It hurts that she isn't waking up to me anymore, hurts that I don't get to say I love you to the girl I love and hurts I don't hear I love you from her anymore. It sucks that we don't talk much anymore. Just makes me hurt very bad, can't stand it anymore. I hate that my heart is in so much pain and now I'm lonely. Now my parents are splitting up so it doesn't make my situation any better.

 

With all that said, I want the pain to go away and not feel the pain when I think about her with someone else doing whatever. Does that pain ever go away? But I want my feelings for her to stay just in case she comes back which I think there is a chance because she'll realize what she did was wrong and figure out what she lost the best and that its hard to find or at least it will come back around. She'll start to compare me to her other BFs and im pretty sure they won't be nothing like me. Anyways, does the pain ever go away but I still want to have feelings for her which I think will always stay. I'm not sure anymore, I guess I want the best for me and her but I still want a chance with her because I deserve it more then anyone.

 

I just don't want to be lonely anymore dealing with all this pain. I wonder if it will ever go away(it has a little) but my feelings for her, I want that to stay which I think it will since I'm at the stage where I think she is the best and so perfect for me. I love everything about her, nothing I dislike about her. Iono what do and I'm asking, will the pain ever go away? IF she never comes back, will I ever meet the girl with the expectation of my ex? I don't ever want to feel this pain again but since I got experience now, I think I'll be able to prepare myself.

 

Sorry it's kind of long and thanks for the help in advance. Wow, love is the best feeling in the world but the downfall is losing your love! The worse feeling ever! I guess its true, its easy to fall in love but hard to stay in love for amount in time.

[rsxguy520]

alright bro, heres my personal take on this.

 

first and foremost, the pain does go away. i was in a long term relationship for 3.5 years and it took almost 10 months to completely heal from all of this. it went from missing her, to being upset, angry, sad, depress, happy, etc. you get all these emotions running in you. right now your missing her. i understand. but the thing you got to realize is life does go on.

 

honestly as much as this sounds harsh, i too had to realize this. no matter what, she can realize it or not, its not going to change anything. it has to be within her to come back to you. you can't force things to happen, or assume it will change. i had to learn this the hard way. i kept saying "oh she will realize it, blah blah." did she? nope. what happened instead, she ended up with the other guy.

 

so what i'm saying is, give it time and learn from it. i know its hard and it hurts, but hey its part of life. the pain will go away once you realize it within yourself that you got you and thats the most important thing right now. if she comes back great, if not, there is going to be someone out there even better for you.

[Locke2121]

And another thing...break it off with her COMPLETELY! She isn't any good for you dude. So tell her that you need to sort your head out and not to contact you for a few months...look up SuperDave's posts on No Contact...it'll help.

[Benjyh]

Im Going to be honestly Blunt, so please dont take this the wrong way.

 

But in short NO is the answer the pain will stay with you forever if you keep wondering what if, and still holding onto i love you's. the pain you feel is because she isnt yours anymore but you wish she was and you will never move on and heal if you keep thinking that she will come back, and if u keep thinking about being in love with her.

 

i think you need to make the decision to either stay in limbo land but in pain for as long as shes not with you.

 

or let her go, which you will be in pain for a long time but it will go once you have got over her.

 

its a very hard decsion but most people on these forums have chosen to let go and move on with there life and have/will find happiness again.

 

i do feel your pain, but living in the past will not help you, you need to look to the future and heal yourself.

 

i hope this help, and i really do feel bad for you cos this is a terrible pain to feel.

[Bunney]

I can imagine how much this hurts, even though I've never been dumped by anyone.. I'm sorry for you! But like other posters said, life goes on and time will heal all wounds.

 

You deserve better than someone who just randomly breaks off a good thing and then suggests to just continue having sex.

 

Like Locke said... Break off all contact with her! Continuing to see her won't do any good. No contact will!

 

I also wouldn't get back with her, you never know if she will randomly break up again and then return when she feels like it. Don't do her that favor. Find someone better!

[CP4Life]

Thanks guys. Well I don't no what the best thing to do but I'll let my life go on and get that horrible pain feeling out of my system. I might still have some feelings for her afterwards and maybe care just a little unless she doesn't where I can't care anymore but doubt it. I need to go out and just get my mind on other things and I did that today.

 

I went to the gym today for about 3 hours working out and playing basketball. I noticed a girl, she was attracted and we kinda had eye contact. I didn't think about my ex at all and I was feeling great and positive like I had no pain in my system. That is just part one of this phase or something?

 

Well, I'm feeling much better today actually and I can't wait for what will happen next. I'm going to go out tonight with a couple buddies and that usually gets her off my mind. I think it's working really well and hopefully one day if its her or someone else, she'll put all the effort in the relationship like the way I do. I just know the next time, I won't go as fast as I did and I'll have experience to prepare myself for anything even if its her coming back.

 

thanks!