Can you still be friends

[mariab.]

Can you still be friends with soemeone you slept with? My little sister, although old enough (28) to know better, slept with a friend of hers who has a girlfriend. She ended it but doesn't know whether to still be friends. I told her no, have respect, but she still likes him. I don't even know why they want to be friends still. Any suggestions?

[nuttybuddy]

She obviously has feelings for this guy and that's why she slept with him. Isn't it then understandable that she would want to remain close to him, if not gf, then even as a friend?

 

But frankly, she's really messed him up. He's now a cheater and she's a (not so nice word.) Maybe you could talk some sense into her. If she truly liked him, she should have waited for him to break up with the gf before she started anything like that with him.

[mariab.]

Umm, that's what he said he was doing to my understanding. I'm just trying to come up with better ways and examples of them being/ not being friends. They were friendly before, but they got closer during their affair. so, am looking for advice as I feel she should run away from him.

[nuttybuddy]

So you want advice on how she can stay away from a cheater?

 

But he cheated not on her, but WITH her. Who knows if they're meant to be together.

 

I don't know how you can convince her to stay away from him. I think she just needs to learn her lessons the hard way since she's already gotten into it so deep.

 

I mean, it would be a different story if your sis did not sleep with him and she was THINKING about doing it. Then you have legitimate concern to want to keep her away from him.... but she's already done her deed.

 

If you stand in the way of her and this guy.... she's only gonna hate you. She won't understand. She thinks she's Juliet and he's Romeo right now.

[Miss Firecracker]

You just have to watch her fall. It's hard.

 

You've given your opinion, and that is really all you can do. Wow! Has she ever messed up.

[fmjosie]

I guess if she's set her sites on him and wants him...... plus if he's already cheated.... it might turn into a regular thing.

 

She'll get hurt, the gf will get hurt..... he'll get lots of sex.... whatever.

 

At 28, she should know better as you said, let her know she's not in high school and to quit acting like she is.

[mariab.]

I've told her to stay away, since why would he want her as a friend? and we all know why!

[Rabican]

I think once you have sex with someone it changes the friendship. Its not possible to 'undo' the sex. It has happened, at some level (its different for everyone) it has changed the friendship.

 

If your sister was the 'other woman' for this guy, then that has even further changed that friendship.

 

All you can really do is tell her she isnt doing the right thing, and she should step back as long as this guy has a gf. And remind her that if he cheated with her, he will cheat on her too, if they ever got together.