What to Do?? Help!!

[n8]

My wife and I can't seem to get on the same page regarding our money! She apparently wants a wedding in Hawaii and a house in the next five years but I am the only one who is willing to save money for these events. She spends too much money on herself and on other things. I don't know if she really wants the future she talks about?? I make enough money for her to stay home with our new baby. I don't want to be an authority figure in her life telling her when and what she can spend our money on, but I need to do something!!!!!! Can anyone out there HELP!!!

Your advice is greatly appreciated!!!!!!

[hollygolightly]

Nothing kills romance faster than financial problems. But bebe, you are so right! You should be upset!

 

Seeing how I am an accountant this is what I propose. Do a budget. Yes, I know! I know!! Boring!! But its simple....simply start with your TOTAL income you bring in month.

 

Subtract from it all NECESSARY items, like rent, food expense, diapers, clothes (for the baby of course), etc.

 

AFter that subtract out items that are of luxury. These items the two of you will need to decide what should go until you can meet your goal. Thats what a sacrifice is.

 

She needs to understand that if you are willing to work towards making her dreams come true she needs to support your team effort and stick to it. If not, then, bye bye dream house.

 

Best of luck babe!

[rvr350]

I think this kind of issue should be discussed before any vows are taken, because if you both have different financial views on the family you're gonna form together, it's gonna be stressful for both of you, but i think you'll be the one more stressful in your case.

 

Try to be bring it up in your discussion, and see how you can work out a budget that both of you can agree upon. Hope that helped.

[russia]

do the budget, then present it to her. she's basically your CEO. she owns the baby. and if you don't like that, she can take half your stuff away in a divorce anyway

 

i know some men like to keep their finances hidden from their wives, leading them to suspect you have something to hide. and money to be spent on your own toys (including mistress for some)

 

if you show her your payslip, income tax, bills for the house, and then work out the cost of food, transport, etc. the remainder money is what you have for your allowance (yeah, pitiful to just have an allowance, but that's life once you get married, cos you are now working for 3 persons) plus her allowance (cos she won't be working anymore, so you have to give her some pocket money too!) and any shared activities (including having friends over, going out for movies, paying for babysitter, christmas presents, anniversary and birthday presents, and saving for house and vacations)

 

er, maybe i jumped the gun. does she want to continue working or stop when the baby comes? if she works, then add her income to the budget. more money all round!!! her money's your money too! when you see the amount of real money left over, then you can plan that wedding and dream house. don't forget medical costs (esp for new baby. paediatric healthcare costs are high. so make an estimate, or revise budget along the way), insurance and savings/investments.