Not healing?

[Beaker5]

Hi guys,

It has been 1 year and 2 months since my boyfriend left me for another woman. I immediately started no contact and have kept it throughout all of that time (And he never once tried to make contact with me again). The pain has subsided but I realized something today. I'm still emotionally attached to my ex. I hung out with a friend today and he seems to like me as more than a friend and although he's not my type at all physically, he's really a nice guy. Well, today, my friend gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek at the end of the day. When I went inside my house, I felt horrible. I began to cry immediately. I felt guilty and felt as though I had been cheating on my ex.

 

Why do I have these feelings? I thought by now I would be completely over my ex. I miss him. I don't miss his being a horrible person, but I miss the beautiful moments we shared. I miss the promises we made to each other. I miss being held by him. I miss a ghost. I need help. Please help me? Please?

[lovelyc]

Don't be hard on yourself because it is completely ok to miss a person and when you fall in love with a person, NC does not necessarily mean you will not be emotionally attached..I think NC is means to move on with your life in a healthy way but you will of course most likely still have feelings for your ex..if you have to reflect on the past, I would focus more on the bad than the good times and then perhaps you can understand that he was not compatible for you afterall..

 

But do not let him mess up your new dating experiences...gluck

[Beaker5]

hi lovelyc..thanks so much but you know what I was thinking? I was remembering about a Reese Witherspoon movie called "Sweet Home Alabama" and in the movie she says to her fiancee that she gave her heart away a long time ago and she never really got it back. Then she returns to her husband that she left. Well, I'm starting to think that I might have possibly given my heart away to my ex and now I have nothing to give. u_u

[poohkins]

Beaker5, I'm in the same boat. I'm 45 and don't feel that I'll ever be able to love anybody again the same way I loved my ex. But, I know that it takes whatever amount of time that it takes. I have a couple of friends who are about 70 now and they are both in new relationships that they find truly fulfilling. I hope to god I don't have to wait that long, but I do know that if you were in a relationship that was important to you, and one in which you really gave your heart, it will take some time.

 

My thoughts are with you.

[PeanutButter]

Well how old are you? Your counting the time apart? Wow. Look here he left you for someone else. HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU NOR CARES ABOUT YOU. Hes holding someone else, hes probably in love with someone else if he stayed with this woman. Hes not thinking of you! Why should you think of him? He moved on a waaay long time ago!! I think its time for you to move on as well. Seek some therapy.