Warn ex's new girlfriend?

[Bella_Strega]

(I wasn't really sure where to post this.)

 

My ex and I have been broken up for almost 2 years now. During the course of our relationship he had problems with cocaine and alcohol and subsequent legal problems as a result. The biggest problem was when I found out he had been carrying on an online relationship with a girl who was 11 when it started, 15 or so when I found out. He was about 24 when I discovered this. He was basically "grooming her" and when I found this out he was actually trying to meet her for lunch. He was also obsessed with "teen porn" and had a buddy list on his aol account a mile long full of girls ages 12 or 13 to 16 or so.

 

Needless to say I sent him packing once I found these things out.

 

I now know that he is dating a new girl who looks like a very nice person. I always said that I wish someone had warned me about my ex and I am wondering if it is worth the trouble to give her a heads up. I know my ex will certainly deny everything and will probably tell her that I am crazy, etc. I used to have copies of the e-mails, but aol seems to have lost them (when I click on them in my saved messages a blank e-mail pops up and then I get an error message).

 

I guess I just kind of wanted to get some advice as to whether I should warn this girl before she gets in too deep and then has her whole world shattered as I did. Or should I just let her figure it out on her own? I don't know why, but I guess I feel slightly obligated.

[jettison]

Ignore him completely. He is not your problem anymore. Even if you did warn her, what about the next one? And then the next one? Are you going to remain part of this person's life simply to continue to warn new GFs about him? 20 years from now, will you track him down just so you can warn someone new in his life about him?

 

Just be thankful that he's someone else's problem and leave it at that. Pray that he gets help, or better still, gets caught.

[Dako]

Let it go.

You'll just get attitude from any woman who falls for him, and you need to forget him. Even if she dumps him, he'll find another sucker. When would you stop?

[ElektraHere]

Hmmmm in a perfect world wouldn't it be nice to have been warned. However, people will believe what they want to believe. You could tell her but for her to take what you say as genuine and not as a "woman scorned" is another story. My ex was not unlike yours, instead of a drug problem he was a felon (thats another story) anyways if some woman would have come to me and "warned" me I more than likely wouldnt have believed her. I saw this wonderful, caring man at first. It wasnt until I was in the relationship I saw him for what he was worth.

 

So the point I am trying to make is this.....you can tell her but she may look at you like a crazy vindictive ex. I know that is not your intentions but she is a grown woman and can make those desicions herself.

[Bella_Strega]

Yeah, that's kind of what I thought. I am not in contact with him. We have mutual friends, unfortunately.

 

I really do hope he gets caught. Every time I watch "To Catch a Predator" I say a little prayer. The guy is a monster.

[ElektraHere]

Bella I relate to you in the "To Catch a Predator" scenario. I always wonder if I will see my ex on that show.

Good idea to just stay out of all that mess.

[Bella_Strega]

I told him before that I hoped that one of these girls' parents tracks him down and cuts his balls off I still do. Lord knows if that were my child I would be in jail right now.

[Bella_Strega]

Yeah...this is super late because I haven't been on here since July of last year...but I didn't have anything that the police would have been interested in - nothing that indicated he had actually DONE anything. But, I did send all of his information to Perverted Justice and the FBI reporting site.