I'm so rusty. Need advice

[Dev007]

OK so I went to the bar last night to meet up with some friends. I ended up talking to this girl and she was flirting with me very strongly. She was drunk though, and I was sober cab, so I wouldn't feel right about taking advantage. Nothing happened except we exchanged phone numbers and I hugged her.

 

I called her today to set up a date but she was with her family. She called me back twice. Once to say she might be able to do something later, then once again to say she was just going to go to bed because she has to work tomorow.

 

I was a nervous studdering idiot. LOL maybe it wasn't that bad but I think it was. Anyway I was thinking about inviting her to DQ tomorow for ice cream.

 

Would this seem too fast and too desperate? Should I wait a day or two?

 

I hate "the game". I was never good at it. lol

[saleen_281]

the game sucks, but you can never do wrong with girls and ice cream

[Zackinlaw]

the game sucks, but you can never do wrong with girls and ice cream

 

Yeah, and if you need a few suggestions, just ask!!! hahaha

 

Seriously, you're doing just fine!!! Call her tomorrow, don't worry about the rules of the game.

 

Good luck.

 

Zack.

[mintblossom]

games are for losers. the correct approach is something natural and some PATIENCE and self-control.

 

i can't count how many people get game-playing and patience mixed up.

[dtm123]

My advice: Don't go dutch at Dairy Queen

[Zackinlaw]

Don't go dutch at Dairy Queen

 

Hahaha ... yeah, there are some traditions that should be honored!!!

[mintblossom]

believe me.....don't be cheap on the first few dates. i offered to pay my share on a date...well, actually, i thought we were just hanging out, wasn't sure it was a date, so i offered to pay my half.

 

but when he accepted, i pretty much froze up inside. i mean, i noticed and i thought "he must not be that into me etc." it was a huge turn-off and i was pretty pissed off inside.

 

of course, on the outside, i smiled and said nothing and we had a good date. but i still remember. and i still think it looks BAD.

 

basically i made a note of it in my head. it's a black mark. basically, i HATE cheap guys.

 

you know how guys are afraid girls will use them for money? well, i've had guys take my money away from me, i've had them ask me to buy them things, i've had guys tell me they didn't have cash, and i've had guys expect things for the money. and it's just killed what attraction i have. it makes me think "if he's treating me like this in the beginning, what will i be treated like when he knows me better?"

 

if i was a guy, i would treat a lady that i liked with decency and that means paying like a gentleman in the very beginning when no relationship has been established.

 

sorry for the rant but i get mad when i think about it.

[Zackinlaw]

i offered to pay my half. ... but when he accepted, i pretty much froze up inside. i mean, i noticed and i thought "he must not be that into me etc." it was a huge turn-off and i was pretty pissed off inside.

 

*sigh* It's a tough world we men live in, mint. On the one hand, we want to make the traditional display of being the provider. But on the other hand, we don't want to be perceived as being chauvanistic and condescending.

 

I suppose that you shouldn't have made an offer if you didn't want him to accept. At the very least, you should erase the black mark.

 

Zack.

[mintblossom]

*sigh* It's a tough world we men live in, mint. On the one hand, we want to make the traditional display of being the provider. But on the other hand, we don't want to be perceived as being chauvanistic and condescending.

 

I suppose that you shouldn't have made an offer if you didn't want him to accept. At the very least, you should erase the black mark.

 

Zack.

 

well, he did redeem himself a little by offering to pay for some tickets. but then he asked me to buy him something for his b-day. (i don't know if it was a test or just to see if i would). i started to think "dude, this guy's got some issues with money."

 

let's just say im very on-guard and watching him closely now. (without saying anything.)

 

i made the offer because i thought we were "hanging out". i wasn't sure it was a date.....until later when he held my hand. that's when i was thinking.."oh, are we on a date?"

 

i'm pretty traditional but this money thing really gets to me each time. esp. in the dating stages. i think in a relationship it might be different but ugh, when dating, i hate this kind of behavior.

[Yates33]

*sigh* It's a tough world we men live in, mint. On the one hand, we want to make the traditional display of being the provider. But on the other hand, we don't want to be perceived as being chauvanistic and condescending.

 

I suppose that you shouldn't have made an offer if you didn't want him to accept. At the very least, you should erase the black mark.

 

Zack.

 

I disagree. Any man who takes a woman out on a DATE should always pay, no "ifs" or "buts" about it. This American mentality of the independent female pushes too much. Any man who accepts, with no resistance, the offer of a woman to pay on a first date is not doing it because it's "okay now a days" he's doing it because he's cheap and has no manners, plain and simple. If I were a girl in mintblossoms position I would have been pissed off too.

[Yates33]

 

i'm pretty traditional but this money thing really gets to me each time. esp. in the dating stages. i think in a relationship it might be different but ugh, when dating, i hate this kind of behavior.

 

And with good reason.

[Dev007]

I was going to pay for the date. I was just wondering if that sounded good to call the next day like that.

 

I think now I am a little confused

 

I will wait for her to make a move then.

[ghost69]

call her up. who cares. if she is into you, she won't care.

[dtm123]

believe me.....don't be cheap on the first few dates.

 

Yea a cheap guy is the moral equivalent of the gal who never says thank you.