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She sent me a birthday email...


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...after 4 months NC. Some of you may have followed my threads on this before, wondering whether she would or wouldn't. Well, as I suspected, she did - friendly, chatty, not too long. Confirms my feelings that she really did want to be friends and that wasn't just a BS line (it's an email that implies we now renew contact, she's asking me questions etc. altho no hint of a meet up or anything like that).

 

Thoughts on whether I ought to reply or not welcome as ever. I think I'm going to, not straight away, and completely chattily and friendly etc. But I'm going to wait a week at least just to think it through - I've learnt not to do anything rashly post-breakups. Let me just be clear tho: I categorically do not want her back, nor am I wondering what this "means"; I'm taking it at face value.

 

I feel strangely OK about it. Ironically I've picked it up the day after I've just met someone new I'm excited about; so it feels a little like she's powerless to hurt me! Hang in there everyone, it seems things really do get better...

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Hey,

 

It was my birthday last week and i got a text message just saying.

 

Happy Birthday, hope you had a nice night x.

 

I chose not to respond. I would of probably but I have tried being civil and nice with her before and it just gave her excuses to stick the knife in and she properly stiched me up.

 

If you are confident that being friends will not delay your healing, or make you uncomfortable in anyway then I dont think there is any harm in responding.

 

Good luck with the new lady!

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hi tommy boy, i think this is great.this is what i want to do with my ex on his birthday in august. we have been in NC for 2 months now and are not on speaking terms. i miss talkin to him about stuff but dont want him back. i finished with him because he was too controlling and jealous and it was a nasty break up but i really do still careabout him and wonder what he is up to. so im thinking of sending him a birthday card in august. dont know what reaction i will get, but i dont care, i just wnat to wish him a happy birthday.

 

i think its so nice that you are feeling ok about this and its nice that she is contacting you to ask how you are, its nice and friendly and civil, no harm in responding, it sounds like you are ok with it and itwill not set you back too much.

 

this is what i want to happen with my ex, but whether he lets it happen, i dont know...??

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the most you shuld say as of now is "thanks" and that is if you CHOOSE to say anything. dont do any of that BS stuff like "oh boy im gonna wait a week and im gonna pretend its because i have to think things thorugh but its really because i dont wanna look depserate and make her think that ive been waiting for her email"

 

just reply "thanks" or dont reply at all. youre still in love with her, and ur gonna hurt if u reply back and she doesnt reply at all. good luck, and peace

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I'm sure you will Pending, you've seen some of my posts on here before, I never ever thought it could get better and it really has now.

 

IndieChick: thanks for your thoughts but I'm actually not desperate at the moment so have no worries about appearing so! Plus I'm really not in love with her anymore...and I don't think it's BS to take time to think about my decision.

 

Cheers for all comments as usual.

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tom,

 

I would say that if I were in your shoes and I could honestly look at myself and say that I have healed from the past wounds, then a simple reply would suffice. Just make sure you don't expect anything out of it. A happy birthday is a nice gesture, and if you feel that you won't jeoporadize anything about yourself by being cordial I would.

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Tom,

 

Thats great news! Good to see you're doing great, and someone new?!! Thats fantastic! (wish i was in the same boat! lol) If i was you, I'd reply, but probably only because I would feel bad if I didn't lol. I'm very conscious (sp?) of always replying to emails and texts in case people think im 'snobbing' them, and feel bad when I don't. So i'd probably just say "thanks, hope things are going well for you" or something along those lines. But whatever you come up with, ultimately, its up to you.

 

Congrats again, and keep up the good work! lol. Nice to see people coming through the fog

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