How do you know if a guys gay? ( gay ppl please)

[alex892004]

Hello...my name is alex and im 14. i have known for awihle now that i am gay and i am looking for another gay teen like me to be friends with or more...but heres the question..how do you know if a guys gay? You can guess but i dont know what to look for...some help plez....how do you know?

 

Thank you

 

Alex

 

P.S. sorry i can spell

[Gunther]

I dont mean to rain on your parade, but you cant know if your gay at 14. Why do you think your gay anyways? Just curious is all.

[charmed]

Hi There Alex !

 

I have to disagree with OCSVirus there. My younger brother is gay, and he knew from about the age of 12.

 

Regarding how to tell a gay guy.....well thats a tough one !!! At your age, gay guys can be very difficult to spot. Gay guys will hide amongst the masses, and may or may not appear to be gay. In fact, there are also straight guys who get mistaken for gay guys in school - which just goes to show how well gay guys stay hidden !!

 

As always - there will be obvious gay guys and not so obvious ones. You would have to put yourself out as being gay to find some of them - and perhaps you need to really think out the consequenses of that while at your age. You can get comfortable with your sexuality yourself, but some of your peers might not be so understanding at this age.

 

So watch and hunt ! See if you can spot any potential gay friends anywhere!! There are many gay forums on the web too - and you could find some great advice on your situation there aswell !

 

Hope this helps you some,

[bouncylovesanna]

i disagree with ocs virus also. try this wesbite, link removed. its a gay/les website. search for some gay guys in your area or maybe you could also make a profile of yourself so others can look at. at the age of 14, i dont recommend telling others about your sexuality YET. some peeps can be immature and give you a hard time. well from first hand experience, im a bi so yeh. good luck tho!

[Edge666]

I have to disagree with all of you on this... You can't just know you're gay. No matter what you people may think it's not something that just happens, you are only gay because you think you are and choose to be. That's what most people don't understand... There are no such things as gay genes or whatnot.

[Gunther]

I dont care what you people think 14 is simply to young to know if you are gay or not. it is such a big gray area it is simply to hard to tell. Remember this is a time of change for all people who reach this age. A lot of people do toy with the idea of being gay at one point or another in there life. but the difference between the large majority and gay people is weather they choose to act on these thoughts. what i can say is just make sure you are not being gay simply for the sake of being gay. I have seen people that had this happen before, if you are gay you will only know when you start to have feelings for a spacific guy. you dont simply say that you are gay and just go looking for other guys, it doesnt work like that. You need to know if you actualy have feelings for a spacific guy or if you are just curious there is a very fine line between curiosity and being gay. make sure that you are **** sure you are gay before you even think about looking for a guy. have you ever thought about girls? What do guys have that women dont {aside from the physicle features} If you are gay you will not have children, it is physicly impossible. unless you adopt, but the odds of a child adoption agency letting a gay couple have a child is a very small one. you need to think a long time before you decide if you are gay, the odds are you will not have the opertunity to have granchildren. I dont know what beifit you could possibly have from being gay, UNLESS you already have feelings for a spacific guy. because you miss out on a lot when you are gay. well thats pretty much what I got on it.

[Gilgamesh]

Thats a bunch of bull, science has found many differences in in brain chemestry in homosexuality, there are animals born homosexual.

 

I had a cousin that at 9 everyone knew he was going to be homosexual before he even knew what that was.

 

And one more piece of interesting fact, the percentage of gays in any population is about the same no matter what race, country, religion or political background. and this has been constant through out history!

 

You can have a family, with five sons, all raised in the same houshold, same parents same everything, and a son or daughter will have preferences even early on.

 

the problem with people that Want to believe this is some decadent choice are usually people brought up that way usually the church puts it in their mind that this is some choice or preference.

 

Maybe in a few it is, but most "gays" are attracted because they have no choice,, whether you want to believe it or not.

 

Im a strieght guy by the way.

 

As for the original question, This question gets brought up a lot, and at your age it will be difficult because many that are like you, are still in the closet, and affraid of what their parents will do/say if they find out.

 

Another thing, your under age, so, concentrate on your studies and being the best you can be now, later when you least expect it, youll know when the other person is whom you seek. they will just pop into your life.

[Gunther]

this is rediculus, if you a minor what is the point of being gay anyways? it isnt like you can get to second or anything. Gilgamesh I agree with a lot of what you say, but are you suggesting that if I had the right chemicles int my brain\body that I would be gay because I have no choice? While there may be some logic in what you say that is a little far fetched even for me. But I would like to point out the number of people america has and the percentage of gay people it has is a little out of order. Although I have no facts or figures to back up any theories there are quite a few more gays than is healthy for a country. I would need to compare the percent to somewere else before I could make a informed decicion but there are a LOT more gay people now than there were say 40 years ago. and the percentage has NOT stayed in sync w\ the number of people born. and in places of a more "sexualy free" countries if you will, the total population is falling. I do however know I cant change the way that you think gilgamesh, nor do would I want to what would I have to gain from it? besides you have probly made your choices on these matters a number of years ago. It would be an exersize in futility to try. well whatever to each his own I suppose. in my rambaling I have realized I have not answered the question given. in answere to your question it is actualy fairly easy to tell {for me least ways} if they talk w\ a lisp is a sign I know a lot of you will call me nasty names for suggesting that a lisp signals gayness but it is true I have had gay people tell me that they will try to talk with a lisp because it is cute or for whatever reason. if a person just seems to stand out or not fit in is a sign of gayness. or if they obsess on something small like keeping there desk a certain way at ALL times. please bear in mind none of these signs work 100% of the time but they do give a fairly good idea of how to tell if a guy is gay. and one more if they joke around that they are gay is also a sign but that one I dont know to what degree it is a sign. But really it isnt that hard to tell just watch there body launguage you can tell fairly easily if they are or not. well hope that helps.

[alex892004]

i really got things stired up in here! sorry.... Thank you all for the advice..although i may not agree with all of it. Some of you question if im actually gay or not, to me it sounds like your more interested in how i figured out im gay..so here it goes.

For awihle i didnt know what i was and i really didnt care. i figured i would just wait and see, that way i could focus on more important things in my life. ( school mostly) then thats when it happened. i meet a guy, that was gay and he was a perfectly normal person. He was a bit older than me and i never told him how i felt. this is when i new for sure, because this is when i could first see myself in a relatiionship with a guy that wasnt just about sex. i relized that even though i was gay i could live a normal life.

thats how i new and over the past year i have come to accept myself, i am fine with who and what i am. im sorrry if you dont believe me but thats the truth.

 

From then on i have slowly torn down my closet. some ppl know some ppl dont. i am very picky about who i choose to tell, and for the most part i have made good desitons.

 

thank you all for the advice and puting up with my icreadible boreing story....thanks

 

Alex

 

P.S. still cant spell sorry

[Gunther]

i really got things stired up in here! sorry...[/quote=alex892004]

 

 

Don't sweat it, thats what were here for, in the end I guess I really dont care if your gay or not we just wanted to give you more than one view point, and you really cant do that w\o getting things a little stired up now can you? well best of luck to you and all that giberish.

[PunkRocker66]

I dont mean to rain on your parade, but you cant know if your gay at 14. Why do you think your gay anyways? Just curious is all.

 

That is sad, you think u cant be gay at 14. Im 13 and im gay, i am inlove with this guy. I cant' even imagine liking girls as more then friends. Why do oyu think u cant be gay at a young age? YOu knew u were str8 at a young age?

[alex892004]

hey everyone....its been awhile sense i posted this and a lot has happened! I just started high school about 2 months ago and when i did i also came out. not only to my peers but to my mom as well. No one, thank god!, cares and so far only one person has given my problems and hes a social reject so who cares....lol im generaly a nice person......anyways, i have had a lot of time now to think aobut what i am and i still think im gay....i know i am.....i do not have a bf, i have desided not to have one, but i do have many gay friends now, that are really cool. The school i go to has been very accepting and i have grown a lot there already. Contrary to what some of you might think, i honestly dont think that i chose to be gay. I also dont think that there are to many gay ppl in this contry, i think that was very low of you to say that. i think if anything this contry is becomeing more accepting and that is why more gay ppl are comeing out and that also explains why there wernt as many gay ppl "say 40 years ago" its not that they werent there they just were in the closet. i happen to know that there were many gay ppl in the past, homosexuality only became a problem when the king said it was........mabey you should get some facts to back up your suposed facts...........i dont mean to rain on your parade.

 

Alex

[ftlauderdalesun]

Hey there young man,

Take it from me, and I've been gay for a long time, the gaydar radar will develop and you will soon enough learn to tell from a moment's glance.

 

In the meantime, don't be rushing into anything. Trust me, the longer you wait, the more you mature, and then the more fun you will have when it's really time. And you will really know when it is really time, you won't have ANY questions.

[ftlauderdalesun]

Go read the scads of scientific evidence. Why are there gay mice, gay dogs and cats, gay zebra's, gay cheeta's and gay crocodiles? Oh, because there's no "gay gene"?

 

Right, it exists in every life form, and has been in humanity from the beginning of time and history, but there's not a gene? Funny, then why does it seem to run in families, and why do they find a different hypothalmus in gay men and women than in their straight counterparts?

 

Why, because you know better!

[punk_rocker44]

hey, i am 13 and i know that i am gay because i have feelings for this guy at school. and i dont know if he is gay or not. i think he is really cute. and i think a lot of boys at my school are cute... but i know most of them arent gay so i just forget about them. but this guy i just cant let go like other people. so i know that there is something special about him. i kind of think that he is gay but i kind of dont. he is a new student this year and the first time i say him in my first period class i was like wow! this guy looks hot. then i found out he has every class with me except science and p.e.. and yeah i wished i was in his p.e class but in my classes he was staring at me. cuz i could feel when someone is starin at me.. andi could see him startin at me in the corner of my eye. and i just cant stare at people back. so i started to stare at him. he is so cute. i really want to know if he is gay or not. most guys at my school i would only consider givin them a blow job, but this guy i really would like to have a relationship with. Well do you have any advice on what i should do.

[sexyguy2004]

Hey Alex i cant really give u advice cause im goin through the same thing except i dont really know if i am gay or bi yet!! but when u find out how to tell if a guy is gay/bi please let me know!!!

[xxGonzoxx]

I have had thoughts about being with another guy and i dont know if i am doing the right thing i mean i have these guys in my gym class that i have intrist in and now we are doing swim and i cant help staring at them i dont know what to do . i mean i want to find a gay friend but i dont know how to i have kissed another guy and more but i still dont know if i am fully gay and i may be bi but i just think u cant like 2 at once

[daniel_14]

i'm also gay.

 

how to spot gay people is to come out. you might find other gay people will come to talk, to confide in you like you want to in them. and the obvious gay people. not too hard to spot.

 

if any of you youngins want to talk to me pm me, i'm 14, uk.

[roxyrose]

ignore ocv...i accepted my sexuality at the same age as u. however, i was in an all girls school, and they were not so understanding, infact it was heavily islamic (im a non religious caucasian) and well, i had to keep my mouth shut and have rumours of being gay for 3 yrs...not so pleasant at 14...and it wasnt so easy trying to find similar friends, or partners...apart from the obvious girls in school, it was rather like a secret society and you had to really stick your neck out if u were to meet anyone...this is just an example of how things can be..and u may find someone outside of your school. the other posts above are right...14 yrs old is difficult to define anyones sexuality, and most ppl want to just be part of a crowd, and some may well be gay, but they wont want to express it, and u cant dicatate to them their sexuality, it is a strictly self finding experience...so be patient my young padowan, be proud and sound...

 

one way is to see if any of ur mates like liza minelli??? joking hun, but u know, if there are any friends who wud venture to some predominately gay areas of your town, u can always set up ur own community of friends and open their eyes without loosing face.

[roxyrose]

i have kissed another guy and more but i still dont know if i am fully gay and i may be bi but i just think u cant like 2 at once

 

ask yourself, what is "fully gay" and what is "fully straight?"..do we call a cup of tea summat different if it has sugar? (thats just my strange way of seeing life, excuse the metaphore if u dont get it)

what place are u searching for, or is it a club to join in? remember, sexuality is more than just who u sleep with, its a broad aspect of ones life, but the terms we use such as: hetrosexual/bisexual/homosexual- are terms that merely describe what u sexually appreciate...and to make other ppl feel comfortable...if ur not comofrtable, then f*** it hun!

[writer68]

You might give the Mcc a try. Also if there is a HIV/AIDS group in your town they might have a support group for young gay teens like yourself.

[somerandomguy]

I have just spent the last 30 minutes reading all of your posts. It is amazing to see all of the different points of views. As I read through all of your comments, I began to wonder if there is a bigger, more universal context. Alex (by his own admission) is gay, but I think the issue is not orientation as much as it is having feelings for others. I agree that at 14 years of age you have little experience on what love is...that is not to say that you can't recognize it or feel it, but rather love is more complex than just 'liking' so and so. And it does not matter whether you are gay or straight, at 14 you know little about life.

 

Be who you are. Nothing more, nothing less. Instead of spending your time trying to figure out who is gay and who is straight, spend your time being the best friend you can be to those who need you.

 

Who cares if someone is gay? Who cares if someone is straight? Sexual orientation is such a small part of who someone is. Life is too short to be worrying about who walks a certain way, or who talks with a 'lisp'. Just because you are gay does not mean you have to fall into some category or stereotype.

 

The reason it is hard to tell whether someone is gay is not because you have not developed your 'gaydar'; it is simply because gay people are just that...people.

 

So, to all of you young guys out there, whether you are gay by choice or by nature, remember that your orientation is just a small part of who you are. There is also a part of you who cares for others, who is kind, who is athletic, who is smart, who is funny. A part of you who loves.

 

You are you. And that should be enough.

 

--some random college dude

[jonbon]

Yer im having the same kind of problem. I am 16 and I have a really good best friend, and I think I fancy him.

 

The problem I have is that I don't know if im bi-sexual/gay or he is. We get on really well. Every one else at school thinks he is gay, because of things he likes doing (shopping and the way he acts etc) because I spend so much time with him they think im gay with him (though most of the time in a jokingly tone) but some people say there are signs between us.

 

 

We are always fighting (physically) but not rough but more touchy feely. We are always at it, and we both really enjoy it. There have beeen some times after we stay over each others houses when we have fought in just in are underpants and nothing else. With most other friends I would never do this. He is the friend who gives me hugs both in public and private.

 

 

The problem I have is that I think I fancie him. People think hes one of the best looking guys in school and I would have to agree. He can always get girls but I have noticed that he never gets in to a relationship with them. I have the same problem. I find I get with girls but I never want to have sex with them.

 

When wer out together I really want to kiss him but I don't have the courage, i fear getting rejected and ruining are friendship. I some times fanticise over him at night. and I find I pay attention to things that are gay related.

 

please reply with advice of what i should do next

Thanxs jon

[chris1607307031]

I know I kinda spilled out my thoughts in that other thread, but a load of the older members need to know this.

I'm 14, 15 soon, and I have known I am gay for years. Now your gonna be like, how the hell do you know that at like 12/13. Its just really small things, like in high school guys joke about which girls they want, which celebrity woman looked really hot the other day on TV (I'm speaking for my self when I say this, but if any of the other younger guys want to back me up, feel free!) and I just don't look twice at a woman for her body or anything else sexual. All I want to say was, ooh I saw this fit looking guy.. yeah he was hot. I sit and check guys out in some of my classed, but I have to remind my self that I'm supposed to be strait and not get caught. There are tons of other things, and they start building up and you just figure it out!

 

Its probably the same way you older guys and girls figured out you where gay. I know your reading this now and thinking "they still cant know at their age!", that's fine if you think that. I'm not trying to force my views on you, I'm just telling you how it is from a teenagers point of view.

[oxygen_lsv]

go to the GAY VILLAGE IN YOUR TOWN... theres lots of gay people... lots and lots lots.. i'm lucky i live in toronto...