SouthBeachSummer

Emmylu, lol! Yeah, I probably won't bring it up unless it comes up a lot; it's not a huge deal. You must be in to astrology?

thanks!

I can certainly identify with you. I've been w/my b/f for 4 years and 5 months... When I feel down about the relationship I'm in, I always think of the good times. Even though he might not always say the things I want him to, I think of the times when he was there to just listen to me cry my eyes out, or when we're hanging out- he could be with anyone at that very moment, but he's not- he's choosing that time to be with me. Or when he just calls me to say hello or leaves a funny voice mail... or even when he gets off his butt to get me a drink or something in the kitchen. Those little things add up... There used to be a time when I didn't feel loved, wanted more affection, etc. but when I looked at things in perspective and think of all the things that my b/f has done for me and still does, it helps me realize that this relationship isn't bad at all. Plus, there's all the history that we have together. No one knows me the way or to the extent that my b/f does. We can play off each others jokes, finish each others sentences... we simply understand each other. Well aside from the good things, bad things can also add up and I can understand your worries. Perhaps you could ask your b/f, "isn't it better to just not stress about the bad things and remember the good things?" and see how he responds. You could also start asking, "how was your day?" at the end of each day and initiate that conversation yourself.. and if he doesn't ask how your day was after telling about his day, just offer to talk about your day anyway. I certainly remember when my b/f used to call me cute names and do all those little cutesy things, but that was earlier in the relationship; We have both matured a lot since then. You two have been together for 3 years and 6 months. Although he might not talk about the future, I think just the fact that you two have been together for that long definitely shows his commitment to the relationship. Anyway... sorry this was such a long post! lol I just want to help as much as possible because I know what it feels like. Hope this helped, at least a little bit. Be strong!

For example, one time my b/f brought me to his friend's party with him and basically left me by myself the majority of the time. I was kind of upset about that and let him know, and he didn't say anything. A couple of weeks later when we got in an argument, he brought up the fact that he talked to his mom and sisters about what happened at the party and how I felt abandoned etc. I just found that a little shocking because he had not even talked to me about the party or anything, and he was over here getting advice from his family. This has occurred other times before when we are trying to work something out and he ends up saying something like, "well I talked to my mom about it and she said..." etc. When it feels like him and I haven't even talked about it yet! Anyway, my question is- Is there something effective I can say to my b/f about this? It kind of bothers me...

I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of years now. I also have guy friends and I'm wondering, what exactly are the guy friend "boundaries"? Is it still ok for my guy friends and I to hang out? I'm confused because a week ago I went out for fast food and to the store with one of my guy friends and my b/f got jealous. My b/f said that he'll eventually "get over it" but this has happened before and he hasn't "gotten over it". I see my guy friends as only friends and nothing more than that! I want to work things out correctly with my b/f. Should I try to convince my b/f that it's ok that I have guy friends who I hang out with (watch a movie, go out to eat, go to the store) and he should be able to trust me, etc. or should I distance myself from my guy friends? Thanks to everyone in advance for your replies!