Alan

dear JZ, i know i keep saying this again and again, but i truly appreciate you doing your best keeping up with my problem and helping me with it and i'd just like to say what a great friend you are that i never met. darn...that really hit me kind of hard when you said that you were married already because i was hoping i could get some kind of false hope from your situation. I guess all i can assume now is that she really is serious when she says that this new b/f of hers really is the one, huh?As for me, i feel like i'm loving my ex more than ever before which is the strangest thing because my heart has never returned to the person who broke it, ever. I feel like this is my curse from God because i didn't take care of my g/f while we were together. The worse thing i ever did to her was take her love for granted. I never hurt her by touching her or saying hurtful things to her, and i say this with all honesty, but i feel like taking the love of someone who loves you more than anything in the world for granted is the worse thing i think can ever be done, do you agree JZ? She loved me so much JZ, and i was scared to show signs of commitment or take extra steps to show my love to her like she did to me. Do you still think about your ex jasmine? Also, if it's not too much, do you think you could tell me the grounds for your break-up with your ex and compare it to mine? Thank you so much and i'll talk to you later. AL

Dear Jasmine, Once again i'd like to thank you for dropping back in. Thank you very much for your clear explanation of what you mean by 'logical' love. With that in mind, do you see yourseld going long into the future with your new man (marriage) and what's keeping you from loving him 'emotionally'? I know these are very personal questions and i'll understand if you don't want to answer them, but thank you for your time once again. And to TS: Hello friend, thank you for coming in and joining the gang and helping me cope and i pray that i may be able to help you coope with your problem also. In one way, i see that laptop as a curse because i want to atleast try and move on slowly without the slightest reminder of her having minumum conact with me. Right now, i just want to believe that i'm not in her heart anymore, which i'm probably not anyways, but there's this little problem of a laptop that's always going to keep me in her head which is somewhat good and a little bit bad. Bad because i want her to remember me because of what we had and not becuase she owes me for some laptop. And i consider it a blessing because i felt that it was some sort of hope that i would get to see her or speak to her in someway. And i did get to speak to her, but seeing her was a no-no to her because of un-mentioned reasons. Sorry if i didn't help, but feel free to drop back in with more questions if you have any and hopefully some of the other members may be able to help you. Sincerely Thank you, Alan

thanks for dropping back in jasmine! If you don't mind me asking, what exactly do you mean in a logical way? Is this the kind of love my ex has for her new found love? I found many things wrong with myself and i did fix them but not for her or to get her back. I would also like to mention that today i receieved a phone call from her and her boyfriend telling me to back off. She told me to forget about her and lose her number. She told me all of this because i went to her house( expecting my ex not to be there). I went to her house to talk to her mom, so the mom could remind my ex to send the check for the laptop i bought her. I didn't want to call my ex because i wanted to avoid any kind of contact with her. Well, my ex becamse upset at this and i guess told her b/f that i came by to see how she was doing or wutever, which is not true. Well, i cleared it up with him and my ex but the conversation ended up pretty much her telling me to disappear from her for good. I would like to ask if you guys think its pretty much over between us after 2 years, but i guess that sounds like a dumb question at this point. At this point im just in disbelief because my ex found her one 2 days after she broke it off with me. And the thing is, is that she always told me that she was sure that i was her one. I feel like i can never listen to any girl ever again. thank you Jasmine and anyone else who drops in.

thanks for dropping in sbrew. I would really love to follow the NO CONTACT rule to its fullest extent but the problem is that i bought her a laptop for school right before she broke up with me and i'm forced to make some kind of contact with her to get the check from her on time for each billing period. How do i go about doing the NO CONTACT thing then?

wow...this forum is amazing..u guyz responded with quickness and i wish i could personally thank each and every one of you for taking the time to stop help me with my problem.. To answer needafriend's question: she broke up with me on the grounds of because she felt i wasn't not ready for a relationship yet and that i was too immature still. She knew that i loved her, but she felt that i never showed it. By "showing" i mean like going the extra distance of doing something specia and romanticl for her like buying her flowers out of the blue etc.. And also showing some kind of want in a revival in a dying relationship. Our relationship was plagued with the many 'minor' problems that can cause decay in a relationship and although "minor", can turn to be very major if overlooked often. I think now i realize that a true test of love for a rerlationship is in the "revival" meaning when the relationship is looking like its going sour, someone tries some kind of effort to bring back that spark that was initially there when a couple first begins dating. She made attempts at the revival, but i honestly didn't and this is where it got me. I hope thats enough info for you guys to continue on aiding me. Also i am 20 and she is 19 going 20. to jellybean and emotional: Well... i've never known her to make up rumors or lies or anything like that. But, yes i have seen her new man because the first time she came around to drop off the first check for the laptop she came with "some" guy. I'm not sure if it was her boyfriend but i thought it wasn't a bad assumption. A funny thing though is that i talked to her aunt who usually knows everything about her as in new boyfriends etc. claimed that my ex has no new boyfriend after my ex told me straight up that she has a new guy and she loves him already. I told the aunt that and she just looked at me all crazy. Why do you think she kept that from her aunt? The aunt also mentioned that my ex never brought anyone home to her parents. But now im assuming that the aunt knows now i guess. Why do ya'll think she did that? To jasmine: But did you fall in love with your new boyfriend after you broke up with your ex? and did you ever get back with him? To detox: yes i agree with you sir that it's all about time and that if it was meant to be then it will its just my heart this time around has never ever ever been so sure about a person and ironically it falling in love with a girl who seems to be completely out o my reach now. Thank you all and i hope to hear from you guys soon.

Dear fellow eNotalone members, I think this one should be easy for you guys to answer. My ex is having a hard time wanting to be my friend after the break-up (its been about 2 months already), and also she doesn't want to see me at all. For example, she owes me for a laptop i bought her for school right before we broke up and I gave her the option of either sending the check for ther bill or dropping it off either when i'm not home or if i am. Also, since she decided to send the bill instead, I asked her if this phonecall would be good bye for good and she didn't say anything. I asked her the question again and she said i don't know. Also i'd like to mention that she has a new boyfriend already whom she started seeing 2 days after she broke up with me. She's already saying that she loves this guy and thinks that he is the one and that they've talked about getting married already. One more thing i'd like to mention is that we were each others first real loves for 2 years. Fellow Enotalone readers, do you guys think that she is gone for good? Why can't she stand to see me, does she hate me? Is she really going to get married already? If you guys need any more information on my relationship with her feel free to ask me anything if you think it will help you guys give out better advice. Please help me if possible, thanks in advance. Sincerely. Alan

How does the no contact rule apply if the ex found someone else already?? Will it be as effective?? My girlfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago after two years of being together and she found someone like two days right after she broke up with me. Not to mention i was her first love ever and she has never done anything of this magnitude to anyone in the past. How can you guys apply the no contact rule then without me losing her by making her forget about me. She told me she already loved this guy like two days after we broke up? Guys, is she serious? Am i completely out of the picture or do i have a chance of getting back with her? I'm sorry if it looks like im getting off topic james but i hope this can relate to your situation someway somehow. Please help us guys, thank you.

dear twentyone, may i ask why u guys broke up in the first place and whether or not your ex was dating someone after ya'll broke up? I'm just asking cuz maybe i can relate to your problem thaks bro

Dear Clambert First off i would like to thank you for replying. The thing is Clambert, that my ex has never had a history of cheating on any of her bf before, even on the ones that have done worse to her than what I did. Some of them even cheated on her. But why would she do it to the person she first fell in love with in her life. She always told me i was the greatest thing that ever happened to her. And wow, i can't believe there are girls out there like you, you are a special one. I know i can date if i want to, in fact i do have a few i can talk to if i wanted. The thing is...I really want to wait this one out, so im sorry for sounding stubborn. I talked to her like 3 days ago and I told that dating for me is hard now because my heart will always belong to her and that I would wait as long as it would take. Do you think that statement had any affect on her at all Clambert?? She told me that i'm young and that she wants me to date other people, but I told her I don't want to pollute my heart because if she does come back it will be pure for her and untouched by noone else. The thing is clambert she did those 'romaNTIC' things for me out the blue also on more than one occasion, and I may have done it maybe only one other time beside the time that I told you about. So do you think you can relate to her in any way? Do you think that she will just forget about me eventually?

Dear Emotional, Thank you very much for replying miss. We went out wih each other for 2 years and yes we did talk to each other every night, saw each other every weekend, and every week day she had free. When we would talk at night, the conversations would sometimees be empty like there was nothing interesting to talk about. So you think she got tired of me? Well, now that you mention it, one reason she broke up with me was because that she didn't have that feeling we had in the beginning of the relationship where she just couldn't wait to see me the next day even right after we would hang up on the phone. I'd like to mention that, right before we broke i helped her buy a laptop on my account. And the only reason I'm the reason we have contact right now is because she has to drop off the payments every now and then. Today she called me that she coming by to drop it off, but the fact that she came with her new man sort of threw me off, but I was like watever. I'm planning on cutting contact with her by jusst dropping off the bill at her house when she's not home so she does'nt have to over like she does. Do you think this is a good idea if I tell you that even tho she did this to me I still love her very much and I want to wait for her because I know i'll be able to forgive her and i'll give her my 100% in the relationship if she comees bak. I know I sound stubborn Emotional, but I love her and I want to wait for her. So you think that she does think about me still, and she might come back and we'll be able to make things work. Once again im sorry for posting off topic but i greatly appreciate your advice.

dear emotional, A bit off your topic but i'd like to ask you a question. My girlfriend of two years broke up with me right out of the blue. "out of the blue" meaning that we had a beautiful month of nothing but happiness right before she booted me. Her reason for the break-up initially was that we were'nt meant to be and i wan't ready for a relationship, but then it ended up that she found someone else already. Iwas her first love and she was mine. I feel like she was robbed of me. She says that she already loves him and she loves her, 3 days after we broke up. Is she being for real?? What happened? What I want to know is that when you broke with your ex and when you found someone else did you miss him? does my ex think about me still?? Please try and help me by putting yourself in her shoes thank you

Let me begin by saying I was this girl's first love and she was mine. We were together for 2 years. The thing is that our relationship wasn't always perfect, but it wasn't really bad. We would fight over stupid things, really stupid things. Well, she broke up with me before on the reason that I don't do enough romantic things for her like get her flowers and cards out of the blue. Then she ended up coming back to me saying that she doesn't care about those things and she loves me very much and she'll never let me go again and we were together for another 9 mos. Well, about two weeks ago she broke up with me again for pretty much the same reason but this time she says that she found someone else already, and that they already love each other. When I asked her how they fell in lo;ve so quickly, she said she doesn't know. Before she broke up with me i did everything that she wanted me to do, like surprising her with roses. We had a month of nothing but beautifulness prior to the week of her breaking up with me, then BOOM she hit me with it. She was in tears crying, saying that she's sorry for breaking up with me, we were never meant to be, "alan, move on you're going to find someone you are going to make happy". Pretty much all the same stuff she said last time she broke up with me, but only difference she found someone already. What I want to know is that did she forget about me already? Does she already love him already? Did she cheat on me? Does she care for me still?? I've commited to myself and GOD that I'm going to put aside dating because the only person I want is her.

dear determined, I know how u feel exactly bro. My girl friend of 2 years broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. The thing with me tho is that before we broke up, we had the most wonderful month of nothing but happiness, then all of a sudden she breaks up with me. When she broke up with me she was in tears and said that we just weren't meant to be. Then two days after that I found out the reason she broke up with me was because she found someone else. I don't know if you two broke up more than once before this but we did. She broke up with me once and before and ended up coming back to me. We were toether for another 9 mos then she ended it with me again. I don't even know a thing about this guy. She already says that they she loves him and he loves her, which i'll get back to later. To me, if she does come back I'll easily look past what she did because in comparison to what I did to her I guess we would be kind of even. She gave !00% love and I'd only go half way. The only thing that might be hard to forgive is if they already had sex. I've made a commitment to myself then ifshe does come back I'll make her the happiest she has ever, ever been. But what I wanna ask you or anyone on this thread is, do they really love each other already? because that is the scariest part to me