Joselito

deep post....... good post......

Mercedes, I disagree on using that *burn* in your heart as a guage to determine love, as that burn is normal at first in a relationship but will not last. T-Dog, What do you mean by living against the grain? Have you thought of returning to school while living with your husband? would you hubby support you going to school? What do you need to do apart from your hubby that you cant do with him besides go out partying with friends whenever? I hope you try to work out the marriage first before you leave. Good Luck?

My ex has been out of my life for almost close to a year and I miss her alot, I hate myself for letting my perception of what others might say about her control my thought and actions. Pretty cowardly on my part, in talking with her on AIM, she used words like abuse, finiancialy and emotionally which are all true, I did things like ridicule her about her music and she paid for everything. I want her back and I believe things will be different as I've opened myself up a little bit and now dont believe that if your taste arent the same as mine then you suck. She called me a p*ssy and she is right.

Hello All My name is Joe and I'm 23 years old, I browse this board alot, looking at the healing after a breakup forum, as I said I am 23 years old and work at a part time crap job and am for all intents and purposes a hermit, I work and come home and spend my time on my comp and try to figure out why I cant seem to get a normal job and feel good about myself. I've always had poor self esteem and I think this is due to my having a slight case of Cerebral Palsy which affects my left side and causes me to walk with a limp, I'm a fairly small guy who has always just "gotten by" well now I feel I cant just get by too much longer as I live with my grandparents who are both diabetics and in ill health. I have major issues over my childhood, like my drug abusing father not being around and getting molested by an uncle (aunt's fiance) who took advantage of me looking for a father. I'm mad at my father for having more kids after he got clean, I feel insulted like I wasnt good enough to kick the habit for and keep my family together. So I dont talk to him. I had a great girlfriend who treated me like a king and I stupidly took advange of her, I love her but couldnt fully accept that she is a fat woman, I did stupid things like hide when I saw frends in public. I was and still am mad at myself because after she left me I realized that I love her and am willing to claim her as my woman. I fear rejection and not being good enough, I dont really trust anyone and dont expect anyone to trust me. I want to change but am gripped by fear of failure, I always feel like I'm left behind and not good enough. What can I do to change.