Miche

Thank you all for helping me with this problem that I am having. It has boosted my confidence to stand up for myself, and to stay away from my so-called "lover". I realize now more than ever that he was just using me to get what he wanted, while he is being unfaithful to his fiance`. Again thank you all for your replies. It means a lot.

Lydia, I think that you have a potentially really good relationship. Three months really hasn't been a long time. You two are still in the 'getting to know each other' phase of the relationship. I'm sure that he really cares about you, but he may not want to rush into anything. Don't break up with him simply because he hasn't said "I love you." Does he SHOW you that he loves you? Actions speak louder than mere words. Have you ever witnessed a relationship where individuals would always say "I love you" but would constantly abuse the other person that they claim to "love?" Whether it be psychological, verbal, or physical abuse- you would probably say that it isn't really love right? Love isn't suppose to hurt. thereforeeee, if you see your partner showing you that he loves you, but not necessarily saying it, then give him time. Then, further down in the relationship, like maybe 6 months, if he still hasn't said it, just nicely ask him if he loves you. But don't complain about why he doesn't say it to you. Nagging him may turn him off. Would you prefer him to tell you that he loves you and yet treat you like your nothing? I'm sure you'd say "no." Three months really isn't a long time, so just relax, and take it slow. You don't have to rush into anything. ALL THE BEST TO YOU GIRL!!!!!

Hey girl. I sorta agree with all the replies. I think you should try and avoid him for a while and then after you feel that you can handle seeing him again, act like you are still happy without him. Make sure you look like a hottie and just enjoy yourself, if you see him at the club. If he wants you back, don't entirely push him away, but don't seem like you've been missing him so much and then pour out your heart to him again. Play hard to get. Explore other options, and get a life, or at least act like you have one. If it's not meant to be, then I'm sure you'll find someone who'll appreciate and love you for you. But the key is to let the guy pursue you. Let them be the hunters. Men generally don't like women who are easy, needy or desperate. They usually like a confident and independent woman, but not to the point where they're like men bashers or anything. Balance out your life. Don't focus all your attention on this one person. if he wants you, he will come and get you. If not, then you'll know. Take care girl. Be smart!!!! ALL THE BEST!!!!

Hey, I don't think you should ask him for his number. You should give him yours so that you will know if he's interested in you or not when he calls. You see, men are like hunters, in general. They usually like to be the one to pursue the relationship. If they sense that the girl is sorta too desperate or needy, that can turn them off sometimes. Try not talking to him online for a while and then go back on after that while and see if he seems like he misses you. Or just get urself busy and then try avoiding him online and then tell him to call you so you can keep in contact. Then you won't seem too desperate. Besides, if you've already told him that you like him 2 times and he hasn't told you the same, then that could be a sign. You could save yourself a lot of grief and heartache if you let him pursue you if he likes you as well. Be smart girl! I hope things work out for you. ALL THE BEST!!!!

Hello! My name is Michelle and I was dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years of and on. The last time we broke up was for about a month when I found out that he was engaged to a woman that he'd known for only 3 months prior. The way that I found out was when I saw him at an event and went over to greet him. I wasn't exactly sure if we were still together or not, we just hadn't been communicating for a month. Anyway, I greeted him with a tight hug and a warm smile, and he did the same. As I was walking away, his girlfriend (now fiance`) said to me, "Did he tell you that we're together now?" I said "no", and kept walking. I didn't want to seem alarmed by what she said, because our love relationship has been a secret ever since we met. Only my closest friends knew about it. Anyway, now we are still seeing each other behind his fiance`'s back. We are even still sexually intimate and it's as if we have not even broken up. He calls me almost everyday and we talk on the phone for hours. We also spend a lot of time together...still in secret. He sais that he really loves me but he can't really commit to me because I'm almost 19 years old and he is 30 years old. Huge age gap. He sais he wants to get married again soon (divorced because his wife cheated on him) and I would take too long. I told him that I want to go to University/College for four years to pursue nursing, and when I'm almost finished we can get married, but he still rejects my offer. I'm so confused and it's so hard for me to let go of him even though he is engaged to another woman. He sais that he really loves me, but life just looks a lot different when you're thirty yrs old with no wife and kids. He also sais that he just wants to please his parents. I want him to break up with his fiance and wait for me, because he honestly seems a lot more interested in me than he does in her...even though he put a ring on her finger. (sigh) He calls me so much telling me he misses me and we see each other so often and we are intimate every now and then. What do I do? How do I let him go, even though I love him so much. Am I being a fool by still seeing him or should I just stick around and see if he changes his mind about getting married. They are to be married in a year and 9 months. A lot could happen in that time. I just feel so hurt by the whole situation, because I've known him for 3 years and she knew him for 3 months and they are already engaged!!! We didn't even have any problems in our relationship when we were together, except that I always felt guilty when we'd have sex and that we were so many years apart in age and we couldn't be open to the public about our relationship. It was only for moral reasons. That was all that was between us that led to break up off and on. But even though we would be apart for a while, somehow we would always get back together. It's like we are inseparable. He was also my best friend I have ever had. Now I risk losing him. What should I do. Please help me!!1