unluckythirteen

I wrote a post a few weeks ago that me and my ex have been getting closer since our breakup almost 3 months ago. We were going on "dates", he slept over a lot, we had a great time together... and I really thought we were going to get back together. He even made plans for our future together. But then, we got in this huge fight. I was letting it bother me, that for 3 weeks we were seeing each other and nothing came of it yet... so I was getting paranoid and angry. I took it out on him and we had a fight. We broke it off with me, again, saying that all his old feelings came back but then we faught.... and he realized why we broke up in the first place. He just wants to be friends, without the cuddling, the dates, and the "pseudo-relationship". Not even a week passed since then and now he says hes over me.. and that he only loves me as a friend. (even though he just told me he loved me a week ago). I told him I don't want to be his friend anymore, he got upset about it. He keeps asking why, but I don't want to talk about it. What the hell do I do now? I messed it all up, I was so happy we were going to get back together, he even said we would if we didn't fight. NOW hes saying he doesn't love me anymore.. and doesn't want to give me false hope. Is he just saying that? I just went through months of working back to getting HIM back and now I screwed that all up. What now???

What you said made me see things a lot more clearly. We are going out again tonight, for another "date". Last night, he went out somewhere without me.. which is fine. I went out to a party that was an hour away. It was loud there and I didn't hear my cell phone. I looked my cell just to see if he just happened to message me or anything.. YES. 2 messages and 3 missed calls. I called back to find out that his car was towed away, had to haul a taxi to go get it, no one would help him out.. and he said the only thing he wanted to do was be with me right then because he was having such a bad night. He wanted to see me but he couldn't.. I was an hour away. He seemed really really upset that I wasn't there for him to comfort him or even around... Then he asked to hang out tonight. So I think he's beginning to realize things. I'm having a lot of hope here. I cried after reading what you said to me. Thank you so incredibly much.

Sorry if that came out the wrong way.. but I was trying to say that I never had a crush on Bob, it was Joe that I liked for years. I never thought of Bob that way, ever. I was never attracted to Bob, it was always Joe that I was attracted to. I've told Joe that, I've told him that I never, ever had feelings for Bob and it was always Joe that I had in my heart. I just didn't want to hurt Joe, because after my last relationship.. I was so distraught and not myself at all. I didn't want to enter a relationship so soon with Joe... and one drunken night, I used Bob for company to ease the pain of the ex.

I've always been attracted to Joe. I never even thought of making out or having any kind of relations with Bob.. but at the time, being drunk and depressed about a bad break up, a trash can would have sufice for having "someone there". I never in any way wanted Bob more than a friend. I didn't even think me and Joe were going to work out.. because Joe was also seeing a few girls at the time I slept with Bob. (even though he liked me.) Me and Bob are no longer friends anymore because he was mad that I said something. I wanted Bob completely out of the picture if Joe was in my life.. and I did that, we did that. I don't like hiding things. Now, I did forget to mention.. right after me and Joe broke up, he was with this girl he worked with. Drunk and lonely, just like how I was. Even while we were sleeping together at the time AND telling me he loved me.. he lied to me about it. I found out through a friend what happened. He told me he lied because he didn't want me to be upset. He apologized, and also doesn't speak with her anymore.

Two things happened that made us split: 1. I've been friends with him for years. It was actually three of us that were all best friends.. we'll name them Bob and Joe. Joe will be my ex. and it was before me and Joe started dating, or I even knew we were going to date.. I slept with our best friend Bob out of rebound from another relationship... and partically me being drunk and depressed one night over it. One time thing, and I even stopped being friends with Bob over it. I wasn't dating Joe at the time. I knew he liked me though... we had a crush on each other for years. I liked Joe too, but like I said, I just got out of a relationship... I didn't want to lead Joe on and him be a rebound. What happened with Bob was a mistake, I regret it completely.. and I didn't want Joe to be a mistake. But still... After me and Joe started dating, I let him know what happened. I never lied to him about it, I just came clean one night (without him asking), not even a month after we started dating. The fact that I slept with his best friend kills him and he cannot trust me over it. During the whole relationship, I never lied, never cheated, nothing. It was that one incident before we started dating that makes his trust in me hurt. He knows I'm completely against cheating. 2. Back around the end of June, we lived together for almost a year by then. We never ever had time alone, we were together every single day for three years (not kidding at all) Never hung out with the friends alone, never spent more than a few hours apart. After we started living together, we started fighting. We barely used to fight before we lived together. We were fighting over stupid crap while living together... things seemed stale, he seemed bored, we were broke, everything was going downhill.. so I broke up with him. As much as I didn't want to, I just felt we didn't get along anymore. I moved some of my stuff out, then before the weekend was even finished, I moved my stuff back in because I made a mistake.. I tried leaving the relationship without even trying to improve it. We were together for a week, buying furntiture together, spending good times together... everything seemed to be going great! Then he dumped me at the end of the week.. saying he cannot trust me because of Bob, and because I broke up with him. He's afraid I'll break it off again... and we'll just start fighting constantly. (we don't live with each other anymore. we still live in the same apartment complex, but separately)

I've posted here before, about the ex and I becoming closer every day. Yesterday, we spent the whole day together. He slept over my apartment, we woke up, cuddled and wrestled like we used to. I bought us lunch and then later on in the day.... we took a nap together. I made a joke saying, "I have a silly, stupid question to ask.." then I asked "Will you go out with me?" (he broke it off with me) He told me that wasn't a stupid question ..but he shook his head no.... I didn't say anything but I pretended to fall asleep. He stared at me, played with my hair and stroked my face till I actually DID fall asleep. Later on, he took me out to a few places. We had such a great time.. he even made plans for the future... like taking me out for my birthday that's in December, movies he wants to see with me.. things he wants to buy me... or places he wants to go. Then when we were out to dinner, he slipped and called me his girlfriend. Then he kept saying stuff that began with... "If I ever ask you out..." "If we ever get back together.." He makes it a reminder to tell me that he's happy around me. What's going on here? I don't want to confront him about it because I haven't for awhile and he seems to be opening up more since I haven't been pressuring him. I haven't been talking about us, or getting upset... I've been natural around him, happy, and fun to be around. What he fell in love with. He's treating me better now than he ever has. It seems like he's slowly getting to his senses, but then why did he say no? Should I just wait it out? If you were in my situation, would you have hope, too? Do I even have a reason to hope???? Is patience my virtue? Interept this! I could be a fool in love but I need someone else's opinion to what this sounds like... or help with what to do.

He's asked me. As much as I would LOVE to believe he's an a*hole and get over him.. he's not. He asked me flat out if I'm okay with doing those things. I've even said, friends don't do that. He respected my decision, but I LIKE doing those things and I feel comfortable with them. He could have any one else, really. If he's that lonely, he could fish in the sea for the loneliness cure. I've known him for years and was even his best friend before we started dating... I've seen him through relationships with me. He's not the type to use or lead on... especially in my case, I have cancer. He knows that would kill me. I actually just got off the phone with him.. he told me he was going to take me out shopping tomorrow to cheer me up... and take care of me after I'm out of the hospital tomorrow morning. I told him he doesn't have to.. and to go out with his friends and have a good time, his reply: "I rather be happy with you" He also said that what happened between us is the last thing on his mind right now. So I don't know.... I think there's more to what meets the eye here. He's treating me better than when we were going out. I'm not sure if this is a sign for us slowly getting back together or what...

My boyfriend and I split up about two months ago. The whole problem here is that he's afraid he cannot trust me in the relationship due to the way I was before we started going out. .. and I also ended the relationship towards the end (over a fight, the break up lasted not even two days) While in the relationship with him, I was completely honest, caring, supportive, and loyal. He's afraid I will break his heart again and we'll do nothing but fight over it during the relationship. We lived together for a year, and have been together for 2 years. It's been hard. Now since the break up, he's been constantly trying to be friends with me. He nows how I feel, I tell him. I ask him how he feels, he tells me... he still loves me, misses me and cares a lot about me, but he can't be with me right now. We still hold hands, cuddle, kiss,.. we still have sex, talk almost every day.... I still feel like we're going out. I've approached him about just getting back together, but he says "not right now, I don't want to get back together." Basically giving me the reasons that he's scared to. But then he'll say that he doesn't know how he'll feel a week from now, a month from now, or if he will ever change his mind. I can tell by his actions when he's around me that he misses me and still loves me a lot. He'll just stare are me and with tears in his eyes. His words back that up, him telling me he misses me, loves me, cares about me... even calls before bed, to see what position I'm laying in so he can pretend I'm next to him. Compliments me constantly. We do things now we never did while dating. Now last night, he took me out on a "date". (yes, we call it a date). He cried for a half hour on my shoulder last night (I have cancer, he knows this) about how worried he is about me... then after that, we had ice cream and went off to the movies. It was an amazing nigtht, probably the best date we ever had. He called me RIGHT after I dropped him off to tell me how happy I made him. Now when he dropped me off... he said "everything will be ok.." Does this sound like we're on the road to getting back together? Should I just give it a little more time and let things feel themselves out? I'm so confused over this... his words and actions feel real, but I'm afraid of being hurt again. Please, anyone help!

I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years. Before we started dating, we've had a crush on each other for about three years... but it was always wrong timing (we were close friends). I was going through a bad break up about two years ago, right before me and the ex started dating. I knew he liked me, but I didn't want him to be rebound... I was lonely and slept with our mutual best friend. It was wrong, and we even lost our friendship over it. Right after that happened, I started dating the ex. I told him about what happened a month after we started dating, just to be honest and have open communication with him. He didn't take it very well, the fact that I slept with our best friend when I knew he liked me... but I regret it and it never happened again. Even though it happened before our relationship... I was still honest with him about it, even though I could have just hidden it.. but it still continues to bother him. So we have been together for two years, and even lived together for a year. Everything was amazing... but after living with each other for awhile, we started nit-picking and arguing over stupid crap. I planned a secret romantic weekend get-a-way for the both of us one night, and he asked where I was.. I lied, because it was a "surprise".. he found out I lied, freaked out.. but I didn't think he'd take it the wrong way. Then it just started getting bad... I wanted to take a break. After two days, I gave in and went back. After a week of being completely happy and everything going good.. he broke up with me. He says he can't trust me anymore. He says he thinks the relationship will just be fighting. It's been two months now... and we still talk. He still tells me he misses me, loves me, cares about me... We still hang out, talk on the phone a lot, he's sweet to me.. I'm sweet to him. I've told him how I've felt and he's cried over it. He says he hates seeing me this way. He wants me to be happy. He tells me all the things you want to hear... and the actions follow, by him wanting to spend the night together, cuddling, holding hands, doing cute things we barely did while dating. But I confronted him about it and he says "right now, I don't want to get back together" he says he will have a hard time trusting me again. I ask him about possiblities and the future.. he says he doesn't know how he'll feel. He doesn't know if he'll ever change his mind and hes scared about me waiting around for him, even though I tell him I will. Just today, I told him I have colon cancer. I found out a week ago but just got the guts to tell him today. He cried when he found out and told me he'll be there for me and cares about me more than I'll ever know... I told him how upset I was that the fact he's not with me right now during this time... he told me he'll be there as a best friend but not a boyfriend. He gets upset when I start to cry and talk about the relationship. But when we're happy, cuddling, having fun together... it's amazing. I don't know what to do. Should I just be patient and wait? Should I just feel things out and take things slowly...? Am I being toyed with? I don't know! I need all the advice I can get!!