Nobody Special

Hiya I have that feeling to about a man I like. He's always on my mind and I'm not sure he has a girlfriend, but he certainly acts a fool around me when we are alone. Like you I just wish I could kiss him, I guess you are in love with her and I guess for you it's a waiting game. Sometimes I just want to scream at him to do it, and I just go mad because I want to see him and just have a laugh with him and hope. Mad in the head not mad mad. He's on my mind all the time, even when I'm watching tv or doing something. I had to stop reading a book because I couldn't concentrate. It's hard for me because I never expected this to happen to me. I always expected to be alone, but he just kinda krept up on me and I want to try at least something, but I'm scared and I think he is too. I just don't know because I am new to all this.

I think he was scared, I don't know. But he does seem to flirt with me as well. I just don't know what to do cos he's taken my wits away and judging by the way he reacts around me, I'd say I have his wits as well.

I've been working at my work place for a number of years and I have seen people come and go. Well one bloke came to work for the company and I never really spoke to him. But with the onset of certain things I found that when I had to work in his department, we got on quite well. I never ever really thought of him that way, but everytime we spoke we always ended up poking fun at each other. I have a suspicion that he felt a little more for me, but I never really noticed it before. Then a friend of mine went through an emotional situation where her bf didn't want to go out with her anymore, but they hadn't been going out long and not long after she found another who loves her very much. I have a feeling talking to her about her problems probably kicked started me in to thinking about this man. Now I've never had a date with a bloke and I'm really scared to ask him out, but I know I do make him smile when he's around. And I certainly blush at times. We've both dropped hints, but his are more directed at me, like when he went on holiday he said I would miss him. But most of the time we take them as jokes. I asked him recently for his phone number but he gave me every excuse under the sun not to give it. But I did give him mine scribbled on a piece of paper. He's always on my mind and he just won't leave, I have to watch programmes that will hopefully take my mind off him, but I find that upon writing a diary of my days I'm more like a stalker after him. What do I do? Some days I just want to ask him out and others I just clam up. I wonder if he is thinking of me and the answer I get is probably not. Am I mad? I've never gone out with a man before in that way and I am older than him but only by a couple of years and I certainly dont act my age.