avman

I do think she is playing you for money. She only is nice to you and pays attention to you if there is money involved so it is obvious she's simply out for that.

Cut her off. No more contact. Let her contact charitable organizations if she is that desperate. But as for you, drop her from your life. You don't need someone who abuses you like that.

This topic is really not appropriate for eNotalone

That is enough.

Stick to the topic at hand.

Most doctors recommend waiting 6 weeks after childbirth. Though about 3/4 of the couples I know couldn't wait that long

How can I make this evolve? Please dont tell me to stay away as its not even an option here

Of course it's an option. It is only not an option if you refuse to consider it.

I'm not going to tell you how to make this happen. It is destined to blow up in both of your faces. You get hurt. She gets hurt. And most importantly her husband (and children?) get hurt and they don't even have a choice in the matter.

Whether she is separated or not - she's still wearing the wedding ring. Thats a signal that she is IN a relationship. While your original intentions weren't to score with a married banker - your current intentions ARE to do just that.

Let it go.

Oh, and please don't swear here.

Could be a urinary tract infection.

She needs to see a doctor right away.

FoxLocke you should be so very proud of yourself. You've come a long way in the past year. You've grown a great deal and I think maybe for the first time you finally know who you really are.

I am very happy for you!

She can also compell you do pay child support while she is pregnant even if you have not proved conclusivley that you are or are not the father.

This depends on your location. In many locations no, she cannot. There is no child support because there is no child yet. Now AFTER the baby is born if paternity is established they can go back and make you cover some of the pregnancy expenses. In some locations you can start a child support action while pregnant, but if the father denies paternity and demands a paternity test then the child support action will typically be shelved until the baby is born.

LEGALLY-- they can get you for statutory.

This depends on the age of consent in the location of the OP. A 17 year old with a 20 year old might be perfectly legal in their state/province. The laws of the area need to be taken into consideration.

A paternity test can be done in vitro. I do think she has to be a certain amount along, and you can compell her in court to do it.

You can try, but the mother can easily file a motion stating it will jeapordize the health of the baby and most courts will not order such a thing. The only reason you would have for doing it is that you want to know the answer and thats not good enough of a reason for exposing the fetus to danger. Since the alternative is easy (wait until the baby is born) there is no reason to try to pursue this route. It is expensive to try to fight for this and it is unnecessary.

There is a chance the urine test could be wrong. In an early pregnancy some women do not secrete the pregnancy hormone at a very high level so the test registers a false negative.

The blood test is very rarely wrong. But you can't actually force her to take that test.

I'm with the other posters. Something is very wrong here. Sounds like she is playing games with you.

Whats it going to take to get her out of my life?

A restraining order.

It sounds to me like you need one. Call your lawyer and have one drawn up. There is no reason for her to be contacting you anymore.

Well for you there isn't any risk by being intimate with him. For him on the other hand, he is taking an incredible risk to his own health. There are well documented side effects of organ function being affected as well as consquences to the reproductive system.

link removed

Will managers get rid of you if you don;t everythinga about your job at first?

Most employers expect to have to do some training of their employees. Unless you get hired in a very senior role where they would have different expectations, don't be afraid. Companies know that they have to invest some time in their newest employees, especially one that is straight out of school.

Go in with enthusiasm and learn as best you can. If you have questions -ask. If you don't understand something they go through in training, ask if they will repeat it.

Good luck!

Well the thing is, there is no way to repair the situation regarding the daughter now. Regardless of what she did or how she behaves, your reaction was so over the top that it completely overshadows the daughter. That is where the anger management comes in. You need to be able to deal with your own feelings of resentment and anger without lashing out like that.

Hi Moon Goddess,

If you really have a strong urge to cut, try another method of release that does not cause you physical injury.

• Crush a nice square ice cube in your hand really hard. It hurts and provides a similar effect to cutting - but without actually causing you any injury.
  
• Take a rubber band and snap it on your wrist.
  
• Do some heavy physical exercise. Work out. Hit a heavy bag. Run. Ride a bicycle.

Try these techniques and see if they provide you some relief.

That looks like an excellent course. Looks like it will give you some excellent skills in the right areas.

There are actually many more components to games these days. Many times they contain a lot of components that are shot just like movies. Green screen special effects, actor voice overs, musical scores, and so on. It's more than just programming so you have many options of areas you can specialize in.

Budgets for game design can run into the tens of millions.

The above article is good, it's just a little out of date (1997). Things are very different now and of course they continue to evolve quickly. I would be cautious about specializing only in programming. These days many general programming assignments have been offshored and take place in lower cost countries India and China. So those salaries have eroded. Specializing in areas that are difficult to offshore like project management, directing, green screen technology, motion capture, and so on will give you a leg up.

Should i try to set my sights lower so that i wont be disappointed?

Never, ever do this. So many people take this option thinking they aren't good enough to follow their dreams and then they end up regretting it for the rest of their lives because they never tried.

If you like game design and you think you are good at it then go for it. Follow your passions and be the best you can be. Find a job that you love and do it well. It's one of the secrets to life satisfaction.

There's MORE to the story?

I agree with southerngirl, if I were him I'd press charges against you and never see you again. No wonder he moved out.

I'm afraid by your actions you've really negated anything I might have told you about the daughters actions. You are the one who needs counseling and therapy. Find an anger management course while you are at it. You need to take responsibility for your own actions. This mess was not caused by his daughter - it was caused by you.

As the others have said, it is not that easy to quit. If you don't like her habits you can always break up. But ordering her to do something will fail. She needs to quit because SHE wants to.

If you are breaking it off then don't tell him. No point in rubbing salt in the wound so to speak.

Why did she promise you she would quit? Was it all her idea? Or was it your idea?

Gone against your word? As in failed to heed your orders?

You do realize that she is not your property to command - right?

So you decided that based on a single thing said to you by someone else that your boyfriend of 10 months was suddenly playing you? Don't you think that sounds like maybe you overreacted just a bit?

but if he called and said "hey, its real busy and I didn't forget the money, just need a few more days..etc.." This wouldn't be happening now.

Actually if you had called him and said "Hey I haven't heard from you" instead of spewing profanity into his voice mail this wouldn't be happening right now.

Look I can't tell you outright that your boyfriend isn't a player. But good grief after only one week you're ready to kill him because he hasn't called and he hasn't returned the money? I would think after 10 months that you two would have a little more trust then that. If not, then maybe your relationship wasn't in such good shape to start with.

It would be different if this was a regular pattern and he always went weeks without calling you back or he kept borrowing money from you. But that doesn't seem to be what happened here...

I think you overreacted when not hearing from him during that week. Maybe it would have been more appropriate to contact him with a "hey I haven't heard from you, is everything ok?". Perhaps he got busy. Or some other innocent reason.

Instead you blew up at him. And you left a nasty message on his voicemail. Plus when he came by you told him you didn't want to see him even AFTER you had apologized. Well hmm if I were him I'd figure it was over.

I think you need to give him a face to face apology and talk things out. If that is even possible now.

You rarely have a chance to negotiate up from a "desired salary" number. They'll only let you go lower.

Calculate your true living expenses as if you were living on your own. Then add in what you feel you need for savings, fun money, and so on. And thats your desired salary. If the company is willing to pay a lot less than that, then you have nothing to lose because you wouldn't want it anyway.

You might want to compare your desired salary against typical salaries paid for the positions you are seeking. Most job boards (Monster, Hotjobs, etc) have a little salary calculator that will show you what the ballpark range should be.

I will tell you that if I had an IT candidate come in and tell me his salary demand was $13 per hour I probably wouldn't take him seriously. That is so far below market for a college degree IT person that I would know that the candidate had not done their homework.