Tete1829

Hey, For those who are willing to help, here is my original problem/stroy: link removed In short, i have feelings for a family friend who is a bit older than i am and i didn't know how to approach the situation. I recently asked him to an event and he accepted. Although there will be someone else coming along with us and it might be awkward, i need some suggestions on how i can let him know that i like him (whether it be verbally or physically) just short of telling him directly that i have feelings for him (i don't think i can do that lol). I was thinking maybe linking arms with him while we're walking or something corny along those lines lol I only have two days before i go out with him so any suggestions or advice would be appreciated! Thanks! Terry B.

Hey, Thanks for all the advice and replies, i appreciate it greatly I'm thinking that i'll just continue ignoring them. Talking logically and maturely never worked before so it most likely won't work now (and i'm not in the mood to dilute my words into baby talk just so they understand me lol ). Raggamuffin advised that i should divert them by changing my schedule, which is a very good idea. Thing is, i work for my father's business and i can't just leave him hanging. I stay away from the places we used to go to as friends and anything in the vicinity of their households...they're coming to me which is what angers me b/c i just want to be left alone. No one can be nice to these people...they're too aggrivating lol Thanks everyone! Terry B.

Hi, I had been friends with these two girls for 4 years and we really were the best of friends throughout most of that time. I confided in them and vice-versa and we spent a lot of time together. I started to notice a while ago that they lied to me a lot, used me, talked about me and each other, and ALWAYS made me feel as if i was a bad person b/c i always stand up for myself, speak directly, and confront a person if there is conflict (something they've never had the ability to do and never will). I don't want to come off as conceited but i consider myself to be a decent person and i would NEVER intentionally hurt, betray or deceive anyone the way they do. I always did my best to aid these people when they needed me most and they continually betrayed my kindness and my trust. I'd confront them when they did things that hurt or angered me and i'd try for a resolution but they continued to be two-faced and spiteful and i realized i wanted out of the friendship when i became tempted to beat the crap out of these two girls (i'm only 18...prison is not my goal in life j/k.) To make a long story a little shorter, i decided that i was tired of feeling bad and blamed so i made the decision to stop talking to them. They began to remind me of elementary-aged children in that their maturity levels, common sense and courtesy are rediculously under-developed and in their cases, non-existent. I couldn't be around these people who, at 18, should have a greater sense of compassion and value yet continue to behave like 12 year old airheads. Not speaking to or seeing these girls was the best decision i've ever made. I continue to foster an extreme hatred for these girls and getting away from them was wonderful...but they won't leave me alone. I made it clear to them that i don't want to be friends and that i don't need them (i have other friends) and they, with their 5 year old mentalities, drive by my place of business and house repeatedly actually thinking that me seeing them together still "friends" will make me jealous (because everyone wants to be friends with them). I confronted them about the "stalking" and now they want to be friends again (and i mocertainly DO NOT)...how can i tell these morons nicely that i want nothing to do with them and that they should steer clear of me??? I'm sorry this is so long. Thank you in advance for yor help! Terry

Thank you for the reply and for the compliment, i hope he sees me that way See, what i don't get is why i get compliments from guys all the time and yet no one pursues me...i'm still by myself (and i think that's what makes me second-guess myself). I don't want this to come off as conceited, but i'm not un-attractive and for some reason some people think i'm mean or stuck up before they get to know me. I just don't understand why i get all of this positive attention but no one ever acts on it...especially the guy i like and that makes it ten times more frustrating. My friends tell me that it's because he's afraid of making my father mad and i hate that they might be right. If that's the case then i don't think he'll ever tell me if he likes me. If i may ask, what was it about the neighbor girl that made you think of her as just a friend? Was it her age or other factors??

Thank you for your reply, Heretic. It really gives me something to think about. I admire the fact that you didn't let the situation become awkward and you made sure she wasn't hurt by you. When I consider telling him, I always wait until he comes by to hint to him but it never goes as planned and i end up keeping it to myself. I guess in a way i feel as if i'm not "good enough" for him or that he could find better and i tell myself that there is no way he'd ever feel that way for me (thereforeeeeee i discourage myself) and it makes my situation worse. I don't know what i'm going to do and i hate that this is consuming me the way it is...

Hi everyone, I'm new to this board and i think that the compassion shown for others on this site is truly amazing... Ok here's my problem...My family and I have known this gentleman for a number of years. He was a teenager and i was a young girl when we first met at my dad's restaurant. He was always so nice to me and i loved to be around him when he stopped by to eat. When i was around maybe 14 i went through some bad things and stopped going to the restaurant so i really never saw him again until i was about 16. Around my 17th birthday i started to think of him in a different way. I developed feelings for him and it only gets worse every minute that goes by. I'm 18 now so i've been feeling this way for over a year now and i still haven't had enough courage to tell him and it's driving me insane because i really care for him and i want him to know how i feel. There have been many occurrences throughout this year that have led me to believe that he has feelings for me as well. He owns his own car electronics business and whenever i need something done and it would cost around $200 to $300, he wouldn't charge me ANYTHING for it. Or when i see him he subtly hints that he's interested by his constant eye contact, his need to always stand or sit next to me, his staying and talking to me for hours and when he puts his face centimeters away from mine just to tell me something. Even worse is the fact that i know i shouldn't feel this way for him...he's 29 and i'm 18 and although the age difference doesn't bother me i know it's not right (nor will it be accepted by anyone). My parents were born in Italy and my father is very very overprotective and strict when it comes to men, considering i'm his only daughter and middle child between two boys. He is a very intimidating person and the guy i have feelings for knows that my father is very protective of me. Another reason why i think he might be interested is because a while ago he stopped by when i wasn't there and was talking to my parents about how he thinks i'm "beautiful" and "independent" and all these other things (my mother told me he said these things) almost as if he wanted to see what my parents' reactions might be. Every time he comes in he says things about me to see their reactions. When my father is around he'll greet me by grabbing my hand or giving me a "high-five" but when my dad isn't near us he'll hug me or kiss my cheek. Nevertheless, nothing has happened between us and the cycle keeps going. I want to say something to him, but at the same time i don't b/c i'm afraid that he might not feel the same way and my confession would make our long-standing friendship awkward. I'm also afraid that he may have lost interest in me or got tired of waiting b/c i got word that he was talking to someone else but i was told that the relationship wasn't going to be pursued. He has even mentioned this girl to me and it really hurt. I've tried not to like him but it can't be helped, so please don't think that i'm weird and that i like random older men. This is not my usual behavior. I just don't know what to do and i'm really confused so any and all advice would be greatly appriciated. I'm sorry that my story is a bit long and confusing but i'm trying to cover all points. Thank you for your help. TeTe