thekid55

You did great, Kenny. You did great. You are very strong my friend.

Day 17. December already, huh? I'm starting to feel sick. Yuck. I have a final tomorrow night and need to finish off this project now. Today's Horoscope Communication with others could be extremely rewarding, Sagittarius, especially later in the day. Project more of your energy outward and join others in projects that you might otherwise try to tackle on your own. Things should flow smoothly as long as you take a lighthearted, optimistic approach. Move forward with projects instead of just contemplating their completion.

Pretty much had an ephiphany here at 2:20 Am. We all long for the day that our exes call us, reach out to us, etc. Whatever. However, in what state of mind will you be when you eventually get that call? My point is, now is the time to put yourself back together. Time to put all of the hurt away. Time to stop with the Facebook, talking to family/friends about it. Use this time to build a better you so you aren't a broken person when they come back knocking as a healthy, healed, new individual. I don't think reconciliation is even possible until the 5-6 month mark at the earliest. We all need time to get ourselves together and MOVE ON from that old relationship because if you want to get back together, it has to be 100% new. The feelings are still there, but the dynamic must be different this time around. It'd be unreasonable for them to cast their pride aside and say "I want you back now. Come running back to me" because for one, they probably don't even know if you are dating and they don't want to look stupid. People ease into things. Think about approaching a new girl/guy on the street. Would you bombard them or just let things progress casually? I don't believe in game playing at all, so I choose to respond to contact that I believe needs responding to. I'll keep things very brief and to the point. For anyone that's hurting, all hope is not gone. Do not read too much into the advice of some posters. Most people at ENA are hurt right now too and will base their advice off their misfortunes. Search the archives and read SuperDave, TiredTiger, and Zorba postings. Just remember, if you don't do anything, you can't mess anything up. Patience. Patience. Patience. Good things happen to those who wait.

Day 16. Talk about a roller coaster of emotions. I woke up. First thought, my ex. Been that way for over 2.5 years now. Damn. Went to work. Felt pretty good all day. Came home before class. Felt like crap. Went to class. Actually spent a lot of time helping others tonight. I always feel 10x better when I felt someone in need. Whether that's on ENA, my classes, at work, where ever. I feel like my place in life is to help others. To serve as a warning, a person that will steer others in the right direction. When my time is up, I walk away feeling satisfied. Today's Horoscope All dissatisfaction will be abolished today as you systematically confront and resolve all the little problems that have been bothering you. Your tolerance threshold is low to nonexistent. Give a wide berth to friends who have been irritating lately. Your wardrobe improves dramatically as you discard all those clothes that don't fit or no longer suit you This Week Don't let idealism blind you to reality, Centaur! On Monday Mars in Sagittarius is square Jupiter. You'll misjudge a certain situation. Listen to your inner guide on Wednesday. You may have a flash of insight regarding a dilemma. Be sure all doors and windows are locked when leaving the house on Friday. Take extra safety precautions if traveling. A burst of enthusiasm will hit you on Sunday. The New Moon takes place in Sagittarius. You'll dance to an upbeat tempo!

Sundays are normally tough for me. Typically, the day of relaxation is a day where I spent a lot of time on here and time thinking about you. I only have three weeks left in the semester and the work load is about to pick up. Birthday is this week. Big plans with some friends. Haven't initiated anything in 15 days now.

Day 15. Sundays are always just blah for me. Not knowing what you are doing/feeling literally drives me crazy, but I'm getting better. Today's Horoscope: Devote the day to your children or partner, Sagittarius. You may protest that it's too hard to find the time to give them the attention they deserve. You don't have time for yourself, much less anyone else. In any case, you will probably feel torn between what is expected of you and what you feel you can realistically give. If you want to dispel the inner tension, take care in the choices you make in the next few weeks.

I want to chronicle interaction that we've had since the breakup. It'll help me look back on day and realize how stupid I was acting and she was acting. Here we go. Sept. 29- We break up. She is hysterically crying. We both agree that it'll be the best for now. Vow to come back stronger. Sept. 30- She texts me early in the morning to tell me that she is still crying. And that she loves me. I text her later on, saying that I'm going out with my friends. She tells me to enjoy it because I deserve it. Oct. 3- I go on Facebook. I see pictures of her and her girlfriends out at a party. She is at her ex-boyfriend's house. I get really angry and call her and ask her what she's doing there. She said that she went out with the girls and since her and that guy dated for only a few months, 3 years ago, it should be a problem. (This guy was the first person to break her heart as well and she was crushed). She tells me things like 'I will always love you. We needed for this to happen, you know this'. He apparently apologized to her that night for how he treated her along time ago. Oct. 6- She texts me again. Saying that she feels like she lost herself somewhere along the line. She wants to find her own happiness again. She tells me that this has nothing to do with my parents (?, Mind you, they always treated her like gold) and she thanked me for always treating her well. I respond saying 'Glad to hear it'. Oct. 7- The worst night of my life. I get super drunk. I'm at this bar and need a ride home. No one is able to come get me, but I text her. She is apparently with her friends still. They were all drinking and she wouldn't come get me. I pour my heart out to her. She gets super mad. Oct. 8- I call her in the morning to apologize. She is still extremely angry with me. Tells me that we became 'just friends'. We acted like 'an old married couple'. I took it all in stride. Got a little angry, but was remorseful for how I acted. Oct. 8 (2)- We go home for Columbus Day. She texts me that night saying 'Please don't think I'm heartless. I'm hurting as well'. I ignored. Oct. 11- I respond to her text finally, saying that we need time and space. She wants to drop something off to me later. I say no. She insists and I say fine. If you come by at dinner time, then we'll get food. She ends up texting me later, cancelling saying 'I got in late. Don't think I was ignoring you. We'll meet another day'. Oct. 12- I act like an idiot and decide to ask her out to dinner again. No response. I text her again. She tells me that she doesn't want to go out. It's too soon. I decide to go NC. Oct 21- I break NC. I see her at this event at school. We don't interact at all. After the event, I text her, asking her why that was awkward. She feeds me some line saying 'I don't know how to act when you try to something that you aren't'. 100% BS and a cop out. Leads to an argument and I send a million texts at night, none of which are answered. She responds to me in the morning and we start to argue again. Basically poured my heart out again to her. She gets really angry. Tells me to stop contacting her, etc. etc. I finally agree with everything she says and leave her alone. Nov 3- She texts me. Late at night too. Saying that her Mom came to visit today and that she wanted to come see me. I ignore it. Nov 9- She texts me again. Late at night again (She doesn't drink, either). Asking me how I was. How things were. After not responding for five minutes, she says 'Well, if you feel the need to push me out of your life, then so be it. It's just been a few weeks.' I respond the next day and she starts prying for answers about my life. I just give her some short answers and she looks for more. I suggest lunch in the near future and she says 'Alright. Sounds great. Talk to you soon'. Nov 11- I see her at a bar. I say hi to her in passing. At the end of the night, I want her to come back with me. She says no and 'this is why we can't be friends/talk'. And I basically begged for her back and she kept telling me how unattractive that was. Last time I'll ever get like that. Nov 13- I call and apologize for my behavior. She is cold on the phone. Thanksgiving- Around 8pm, I get a personalized 'Happy Thanksgiving to XXXX and your family' I reciprocated the message and here I am today. **90% of this intereaction came via text message. Also seems like we can't go longer than 2 weeks without talking.

Day 14. A relaxing day at home. Still trying to figure out what the best thing for me to do with my ex is. I'm not going to initiate any contact with her. However, I have two options. 1. Respond casually when she reaches out to me. or 2. Next time she contacts, Tell her that I don't think casual contact is good for us as feelings on both ends will impede our friendship for the time being. I will always have fond memories of our relationship, but I think we both learned a lot and will apply it for our next relationships. I'm over that needy crap so that's not even an issue for me anymore. Today's Horoscope Move in for the touchdown today, Sagittarius, and don't stop until you succeed. Don't let other people's insecurities become yours. Have confidence in yourself and the way you behave around others. Just because someone else feels sad doesn't mean you have to, just to make them feel better. The best thing you can do in this situation is turn it around by exhibiting sheer happiness.

Another great day for me today. I went out with my Dad during the day to do some car shopping. At night, my friends and I went to casino. Didn't win any money, but we had fun, so that's all that matters. I still think of you regularly, but I keep myself as #1. Basketball game tomorrow night. Really looking forward to it. Going to spend quality time with the family tomorrow as well. Two more days at home before I go back to school/work. Only three weeks left in the semester. Time for the big finish.

Day 13. Another great day today. Things just keep getting better for me. I had a great day. I went out with my Dad. I went out with one of my friends tonight. I had a great night. Still thought about you at times, but I think about me 24/7. Today's horoscope: You might be distracted by daydreams of a trip you're planning to take, Sagittarius. A friend could phone and want to discuss it, which doesn't help. Visions of faraway places and exciting pastimes may dance in your head, and routine tasks seem incredibly tedious and unworthy of attention. It's best to get them done if you can. Then you can fantasize about your vacation without guilt. Ironic again. My friends and I are going to a basketball game tonight that we've been planning for a long time. Sounds like my 'vacation'.

Day 12. I did break NC today. My ex sent me a Happy Thanksgiving text wishing me and my family well. I believe in being polite when people reach out so, I repeated her message back to her. Good to know that I am still on her mind, even on the holidays. Yesterday's horoscope social agitation that has been in your life for the last three weeks is coming to an end, Sagittarius. The celestial energy will help you learn some lessons and prepare for the next cycle. It would be great if you had some success and honors, because this would help you confront the coming weeks. It will be a time of meditation and feeling a little bit disconnected from the world. Today's horoscope playful attitude is apt to be opposed by someone who refuses to see things your way, Sagittarius. Walk away from those who aren't committed to helping the situation. It could be that there are people who purposefully try to sabotage your plans. You're too smart to fall into this trap. Prove to others that even though you may be happy, it doesn't mean you're gullible.

Got a text from her tonight. She just said 'Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family' I responded back a little later and said 'Thanks. Happy thanksgiving to you and your fam'. Wasn't part of a chain text. Trying not to over-analyze it. Her and I haven't gone longer than 12 days, post-breakup without talking. One of us always breaks it with something stupid. I'm letting her come to me.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Well, I had another great night tonight. I am home from college and I went out with all of my buddies from home. Here's the beautiful thing about my friends from home. Typically when people graduate from high school, everyone just moves on. However, all of my friends went to different college. We all go to schools in five different states. We typically do not talk much during the semesters, but when we are all home, we just sit around for hours, laughing, talking about the 'good days'. It's so funny to laugh about how dumb yet fun some of our situations were. We have a solid group of about 10-15 of us who always get together. It's been that way for years and I feel blessed. After we hung out, we went out to this local bar. Of course, you see people there who you wish you never saw again. However, we had fun. This one girl was basically hitting on me. Another thought I was really cute, but she wasn't my time. It was a good ego boost. Outside of that, my ex and I are now on Day 11 of NC. I still think about her often, but I realize that I am the most important person. I know that she went to the city to go to a bar with a girlfriend and this girlfriend was exclaiming how 'wild' it would be. Mind you, my ex is not the 'wild' type of girl and has problems with truly letting herself go. (She won't get drunk, etc) This girlfriend is 'dating' one of my good friends and he told me once that my ex doesn't talk to any other guys or anything when she goes out. Good to know. I realize now that we are not supposed to be together right now. There is only so much you can experience in a relationship together when you are so young. If you told me right now that I would be without her for the next 2-3 years, but you'd get her back forever after that, I'd take it. I really do not think our story is over, but patience is the key. Goodnight.

Day 11. I am home and went out with this huge group of friends tonight. I'll tell you something really crazy. Typically after highschool ends, people go in their own direction and lose touch with their friends. However, my group of about 10-15 friends have stuck together. None of us go to the same college and we are all spread out. We sat there for literally two hours tonight, drinking, talking about the 'good days'. We were all athletes and played on a lot of the same times, so we talk about those times as well. We then went to a local bar and had a great time. This one asian girl (who was decent) apparently thought I was attractive. I wasn't into her, but it was a great ego boost. I was complimented on multiple occasions about how good I looked. People were amazed as I told them about my future plans and aspirations. At the end of the day, I realize that I miss her, but us not being together is the best thing for now. We both need to experience life as single, 21-year olds. We both have so much of the world to see and we couldn't gain all of that life experience while being in our relationship. Mind you, my mind does wonder. She was at this bar in NYC with one of her girlfriends tonight. I definitely thought about it all night. The girlfriend is 'dating' one of my good friends and he volunteers information about her when she goes out. He tells me that she never does anything with other guys or anything, which makes me feel better. Technically it is Thanksgiving here and I'm thankful for my friends, family, and all of the ENA posters. Without you, we'd all be lost.

Day 10. A bit of a roller coaster today, but I got off of the ride. Home tomorrow.

Do nothing because nothing works. It's a win-win. You heal, which the most important thing. Your ex also starts to wonder, which is secondary.

I'm healing, but I'm tired of being without you. I did a lot of things wrong in our relationship and I'm going to hold up my end of the bargain. I'm working on myself. I'm pretty much happy again. I've made new friends, really worked on myself, improved things that you hated. I'm not completely there yet, but I'm getting there. Are you working on yourself? Are you holding up your end of the bargain or are you just running away?

Thanks for the replies. Honestly, I think it was just a joke. Probably some guy was trying to hit on her or something that she wasn't interested in. The room mate likes to stir the pot anyway. I know the Jersey shore reference well. It means hooking up, etc.

Yep, probably an inside joke. Just a room mate looking to stir the pot.

Day 9. Not as good as yesterday, but tomorrow is a new day. I get to go home in two days (I can't wait). SuperDave's return today was a pleasant surprise! Thanks for the kind words, SD71. Tomorrow's horoscope You have a promising day ahead, Sagittarius. Finally, you will advance by leaps and bounds in whatever needs to be done. Whatever has been causing the delays will likely be revealed today. You return to the skill and professionalism you so value after several weeks of halting progress. Don't tolerate any violation of your ethics now or in the future. I like the sound of it.

A friend just told me about my ex's Facebook wall. Apparently her room mate (who is a huge skank), wrote on her wall 'Get. It. In' She replied saying 'Inappropriate. I hate you' Her roomate 'Love you!' Sigh.

I know my ex was very, very hurt post-breakup. She did rebound like most do people, post-breakup. She has tried to cover it up online, but she told me that she was hurt. She didn't say anything about getting back together.

Had a pretty good day today. I'm really starting to feel like myself. I know that ENA is littered with stories of people getting dumped and their partner immediately rebounding. My situation is not like that at all. I guess my ex has 'rebounded' to a new group of girlfriends. Obviously a novelty. She knows all of my moves, how I'll react in situations, etc. I'm working on making changes for the better for my next relationship. So my question? Do you think it matters if your ex rebounds to another partner or not? If it does, why? Just trying to see what people think when an ex does not rebound.

Day 8 in the books. On to the next one. Had the best weekend here in a very, very long time.

The only problem with that is, when one person starts to check out of the relationship, the other person will get crushed when they are ultimately broken up with.