lilady
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Everything posted by lilady
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One more thing... every choice we make comes with a price or consequence or reward. We don't know the future so our choices have to be made based on past experience, what we know, and experience of others besides our emotions... write down on paper all your past experiences with this person; all the good and the bad and write down where it has led you. Read it out loud to yourself. It will help put things in perspective. Your signature says "Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for." Ask yourself what price you are willing to pay?
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Aida, My heart breaks for you. Please don't think that this guy is the ONLY person you could want..... you deserve someone who respects you as well as loves you and appreciates you. He did none of those things. He took from you all the things you were willing to give and he is not mature enough to know how to truly love you like you deserve. You can do so much better. You deserve better, to be treated properly and decently. Don't waste anymore of your youth pining for him.. Like others have said, concentrate on other things you have your whole life ahead of you. Do something with it.
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cc... I certainly don't want him to view me in that light (pardon the pun lolol) one where he is turned off by my being insecure with myself... I want him to be proud of me - acutally "in AWE!!" of me would be nice.... its true, I can't keep my hands off him and I think he is totally sexy! And I'm not offended SYRIX that was funny acutally ... it is sad really that he has to cater to my insecurities which is why I posted... I need and want to "get over it"....
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Thankyou you Ash, that's reassuring. Yes, there has been some very good advice I need to take more often. In the end I just want to please him and KNOW that he is pleased with me.
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I'm that girl - We have known each other for about 4 years and been engaged since last March. and thankyou for the reassurance... yes beauty entail the "whole" person in and out.... and at some point we have to trust our men when they say "you're beautiful" that they mean it for what it is. RayKay - I feel for your mom and hearing that makes me ashamed to be so shallow. I just need to let my inhibitions down and swallow my pride so we both can relax and enjoy each other... I do know that....
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Believe me! If I could afford it I would.
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What grosses me out is that it reminds of my 80' something year old great grandma's underarm skin that flopped back and forth while she kneaded the dough to make bread... in "kid fascination" I'd stare at it and touch it as it giggled to see what it felt like..it was soft and all but still gross... THATS what my belly is like and its hard for me not to think its a turn off that will work against me ...covering up just seems more tolerable.
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My problems had more to do with (sorry if its gross) streached skin verses flab....its like if you took one of those plastic grocery bags and pulled hard. UGGGHH!!! There is no getting back to normal after that... however I am doing more crunches. We are getting married in May and I want to at least be as fit as is possible but I realistically know only surgery can make it "go away".
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Hey thanks for the sight!!! I think I will go get one and try it out!!!
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I like the candle idea but even that is too much light for me... they have to be clear on the other side of the room!! I just turned 40 this year and at least with my first husband it was his children that did that to me... my fiance doesn't have that endearing reason to hug and kiss my belly in appreciation that I birthed his children... I just fear he secretly will think its gross.
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What's even more sad is that I'm secretly glad he wears glasses that he takes off when we have sex; that way he doesn't see clearly!! Thankgod for small favors... lol
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Yes, I'm running out of shirts to wear that give him access to my breasts but cover my tummy. What is a body stocking exactly?
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ADVICE please!!! Calling all men!!! need your help!! I am embarrassed to ask this question despite my anonymity. Nakedness or darkness? I have had two children from first marriage. I am now engaged to a guy and I insist on never taking my shirt completely off without darkness in the room because my pregnancies made my once tiny tone belly look like a deflated balloon. I think it would be a turn off for my fiancee but I also worry that he gets turned off by my inability to be comfortable with my body. So given a choice of seeing a woman confident with herself and free to be sexually expessive and unihibited... or seeing a not so perfect body of the woman you love, which would it be? PS. woman out there; am I the only one with this hangup? HELP!! I think I'm frustrating him!! but I'm afraid he'll think I'm not so pretty anymore.
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EXACTLY!!!!! That is what I'm afraid up. That I'll make him miserable. I have talked to him about it and he says he couldn't be happier unless of course I was happier. Its just that my emotions and feelings seem to control my mind rather than the other way around. I need practical suggestions to get from him (talk and expression) what I need to feel like our relationship is deepening and he isn't just ho humming along just happy with whatever.
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Actually, it is a relief to know that I'm not the only one who can't believe someone could be so agreeable. I think what makes me feel worse it that his agreeableness and unconditional love makes me all that more aware of how demanding, controling and intolerant I am myself.....I just don't know how to love him like he loves me... even the sound of how he chews his food drives me nuts! I'm pathetic.
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I'm new here. Nice to "meet" you all! I am engaged to a man who is an anomily to me. We have been together since 2004. We see and talk everyday tho we don't live together. Since April of this year I have lived in the same building as him, upstairs. I only point that out to give a clear picture of how much time we spend together. I am and have always (maybe since the terrmination of my first 13yr marriage to the man I thought I would spend my entire life with) on the lookout for ways to improve our relationship. I seem to be the only one who sees potential issues needing to be dealt with. He avoids conflict like the plague (his exwife was quite hysterical and out of control) so I understand why he would. He NEVER has issue with anything I do or say or wear or like or think.... I have even asked him, "If there was one thing that got on his nerves or irritated him in the slightest about me, what would it be." He just says there is nothing at all he would change. Nothing I do irritates him except maybe asking that question!(smiles) Its just that I can't believe someone can love some one so unconditionally with no expectations of them. I feel like when I'm the only one who has issues and it ends up making him feel like he disappoints me like when I wish he were more romantic or more open about his wants and desires instead of always conceding to me. Can he be that content or is he just complacent and can't be bothered to deal with certain things?