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lilady

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Everything posted by lilady

  1. why doesn't everyone just stay home and husbands give your wives lap dances and let them pay you and wives give your husbands lap dances and let him pay you instead.... (sorry, I'm just being sassy)
  2. Brad and Angelina threesome?? hmmm...being the "do good ers" they are, you'ld think they'ld do it for charity!! lololol just kidding of course.
  3. BellDonna, Sorry, I responded before I fully read your entire comment. I see what you are saying and I believe I know what could be going on. Being alone with him like that gives me the kind of happiness, comfort and security that does make me forget everything around me. It is one of the few times I can escape all the other thoughts feelings and fears going on in my head usually. I have to think more about this issue on this angle.
  4. Exactly Belledonna, I think thats it! Its the attention and priority .... I know that because most of the time it is only him that reaches final orgasm ...so it isnt "sex" its the closeness because of sex I think. He seems to never have that need. I am always the initiator it seems and something as small as "oh I'm expecting a call from so and so" might deter him from getting intimate or if he hasn't brushed his teeth.... I feel like I could care less .."I WANT HIM" all the time!!! yet he's satisfied holding my hand or sitting on the couch together... taking our intimacy further seems to be my need not his. I want him to need me too! The kind where he steals away 10 mins in a closet away from everyone cause he can't stand another minute without that kind of closeness. Since he doesn't I wonder if maybe my need is unrealistic.
  5. I agree with Carnelian, our feeling of well being, calmness, happiness ect... has largely if not mostly to do with chemical levels and reactions in our brain. If a persons levels are not what they should be then anti depressents help the levels balance out the way they should naturally but fail to for whatever reason. Only me: Wellbutrin has been seen in some studies to increase sexual desire and ability to have an orgasm.. ask your doctor about it.
  6. I might feel like I need him when he is away from me but honestly my problem is that it is when we are together that I feel this way the most... even if we are alone for days... I go thru doing other non sexual things impatient for when we will "reconnect". I need him in that way I think because it is at those times that his attention is focused solely on us. Can I be so insecure that I'm jealous of even mundane conversation or daily tasks that take his attention away from me? Am I obsessive?
  7. Wondering how do you know when your need to be close to your partner sexually/intimately is at the brink of addiction? Say you feel the need to be close with them constantly in that way when you are in their presense; you may have even just been with them intimately and you dread that its over or that you have to do other things. I'm not talking about a physical need... I'm speaking emotionally and psycologically when does it become "not normal" or imbalanced... how do you know when you are too needy to the point that is is unhealthy. What is the definition sexual addiction?
  8. Hazey Amber, You're right! There have been a few times he said I have spoke to him like he was a child.... my thoughts are "then stop acting like one". I don't know some times I think I'm hard on him but I feel like its to late in my life to continue to be passive and accepting of certain behavior that affects my life in a way I don't like. I've done that for too long already.
  9. This post made me laugh only because I soo recently had a conversation with my fiancee about this very thing! He was talking almost enviously it seemed about his friend who didn't work a regular job but his wife pretty much supported them and he got to spend 12hrs a day playing video games. I said almost seriously but not so much that it would be a "deal breaker" for me.... He got his feelings hurt that that was all it would take for me. I didn't know what to say. I wouldn't stand for that long if my husband was lazy. Am I shallow or intolerant?
  10. the way he chews with his mouth open or chews gum while were watching tv
  11. I agree with scout.... if your behaviour is the result of overdrinking and you want the behavior to stop then stop overdrinking. simple... make a conscious decision based on how much he means to you to know your limit alcohol wise.... unless the things you are getting upset at are valid issues and you only let them out when your defenses are down... then you need to re-evaluate the underlying problems BUT if its just a matter of you being a "nasty or mean drunk" then it should not be too difficult to solve the problem if you really want to.
  12. My fiancee and I are marrying in 5 months. Any discussions about us or our future plans are instigated ALWAYS by me it seems. We are buying a house and planning a wedding and have to find a way to blend our families, his kid and my kids all to happen in the next 4 months. I am frustrated that whenever there are plans to be made or something needs to be done as far as our life together I always have to ask him to do or go or talk or decide about whatever it is... I can't recall him taking initiative hardly at all when it has to do with us and our future. One of the things I love about him is that he loves me unconditionally and has no expectations of me. I on the other hand have expectations and often get disappointed that he doesn't put more effort into "us". I see him talk for hours about other things, research details about his other interests and spend time daily on them but he does not do that with regard to our plans... Am I wrong to have a limit on how much I am willing to do and invest in us (doing all the work) while he is just the "yes" man who is more than willing to comply to my wishes and do as I ask or what I want? I need him to be more assertive. Is it too much to ask that of someone I love or If I ask it does it mean I don't love him truly but that I'm trying to change him?
  13. Reading your post.... well, the first thing that popped into my head was: Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks did it successfully.... life is so much bigger than individuals.... we shouldn't let individuals and the changes we experience with them manipulate our life in a way we don't want them too as long as we have the power to rise above.
  14. hmmmm, what would "Super Nanny do?" sounds like she needs a good spanking!!! seriously tho, it seems that she knows she is in control and knows the limits you will go to(ie: not go to) to enforce whatever rules you have that she is beaking... I TOTALLY say you force her to be put in a situation where she has to think of someone else besides herself..... volunteering-community work...you are still giving her choices and she is "ruling and dictating" how, what and when she will or will not do things.... One by one if she refuses to comply start taking away all of her luxuries... even if eventually all she gets is a mattress a few clean clothes and bare necessities... for every good positive behavior give her one back. She'll get the picture and realize she can control what she has, can do, enjoy or vice versa, doesn't have, doesn't do, suffers or does without based on the choices she makes.... finally force her to see that the outcome of what she experiences lies in her own hands....... tough love... and be CONSISTENTLY CLEAR of the expectations, rules and limits,rewards, consequences and CONSITENT with enforcing them.
  15. more than likely they will just encourage him to marry her if he wants to pursue their relationship.
  16. I just hope Unsure123 is able to take all the posts on this thread and weed thru them, then based on what she herself researches and experiences is able to come to her own conclusions. It is peoples real lives we are influencing with our comments so we should be careful about what we present as being factual when all it really might be is opinion or personal conclusion, Juliana.
  17. my Ex (when we slept together) would try to take my clothes off and in the morning he didn't know anything about it!!! lol
  18. "Maderma" is a recommendation of a surgeon for scars (or stretch marks) but you have to be consistent with putting it on several times daily and for months to make a difference...it isn't cheap either but you can get it over the counter.
  19. Unsure123 I kinda got off on a tangent but my advice to you is to reserve judgement or conclusion of Witnesses until after you yourself have investigated them and their beliefs... heresay even from people who "seem" to think they 'know" is never a good basis for your own conclusions.
  20. Hazey Amber, I am sorry for your struggle. I'm sorry you felt so alone. You should not have been pressured. If you were then is was not wise of your parents. I wanted to get baptized when I was 16 and my mother made me wait til I was 18. I think it is not always best to make such a decision when you are so young.
  21. Hazey Amber, You pretty much summed it up... however in recent times even disfellowshipped children can be communicated with by parents or other syblings who are still in good standing under acceptable conditions like when they need help or death of another family member or in work situations or even if the disfellowshipped person has children that the Grandparents and aunts and uncles want to actively show their love to. However the degree of contact is a personal conscience matter for each individual and based on individual circumstances. I am not disfellowshipped just inactive yet because of certain situations in my life now anyone I used to know who are witnesses will not actively socialize with me. But whenever I inadvertantly run into anyone they hug me tell me they love and miss me and want me to come back. My family who are witnesses tho still communicate with me according to their own comfort level...and I respect the caution they have so I don't aggressively pressure them in that regard. I am getting remarried to an unbeliever and I have limited my fiance's contact with my mother since I have compasion for her feelings on the matter.. needless to say she nor my sister will be attending the wedding tho I understand their reasons. The religion is one basically where you have to be wholesouled devoted to it and God or you might as well not do it. You need to be willing to sacrifice some family and friends in everyway (ie: not accepting blood transfusions) and put your service and obedience to God above everyone else including any children you have. (This is my issue I struggle with and why I left feeling like a hypocrite... I knew I resented that it felt SO MUCH was being asked of me that I knew I wasn't willing to give anymore) Perhaps selfishness on my part. My 10 yr old son was in an accident .. in ICU for a month. The Witnesses rallied around us and I couldn't have asked for a better more loving and giving support system but the issue of transfusions came up and basically the result was that several years after all that happened I realized I demanded more certain factual clear reasons for my faith ( that was fading away) since I didn't get them I felt I had to leave.
  22. Ok, you aren't enabled to receive PM"S soooo..... If I were to become dedicated again to any religion it would be that one. My family (Half are witnesses- half are not) I have a brother and other family members who are disfellowshipped. I have been married to an elder and former Bethelite in one of the congregations as well as been a regular Pioneer myself and my children are still being raised by their father as witnesses with my support even tho I no longer attend.
  23. Dear Unsure123, I can tell you anything you want to know about Jehovah's Witnesses. I will PM you.
  24. caro33 - If I didn't know better I think I would have written your post to me exactly!!! word for word... I feel and say those same things... he just tells me "I'm really not that deep. I'm a simple person." He said he has just decided to be as happy with the way things are even if they aren't perfect and he wouldn't change anything. I on the other hand feel that change means progress but I could be wrong. Maybe thats why I struggle with being content. I'm always looking for a way to make things better which means I end up having to find the negative in order to improve on it. Thats bad isn't it?
  25. You are SO right Helen. And it helps to remind myself not to take myself too seriously. This weekend I was braver in the daylight hours (shocking)with my fiance when we were intimate. I resisted the urge to "cover up" and even tho my mind was going crazy I lay still while he ran his hands over my belly. He did this for a little while while we lay there. I didn't move his hands or stop him or put my hands in the way- all things I would have normally done. He seemed to be fine and I think he was trying to actually show me that he loved and accepted all of me. He also made a point to tell me numerous times thru out the day and even this morning how beautiful he thought my body was. He's so good to me!! Thankyou all, I actually thought of this post too while laying there, which I thought was a hilarious. : o)
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