confused-first-timer

Just wanted to post, having a pretty crappy day, its only been a little more than a week but it is getting to the breaking point that i am realizing that i am never going to hear from her again. i don't want to break NC but have thought about it numerous times today... everyone seems to think that we are going to get back together but no one knows her like i did. and its pretty hard to tell everyone that you know that you are never going to her from that one person in your life that you would give the world to. the one that meant so much for a brief period in your life and know is gone like they never even met you. Sorry for the pointless thread just had to get this off of my chest...

just wanted to jump into this really quickly. You all seem to have very good opinions on your relationships but I am going thru something I haven't seen on any of these posts. I was in my first real relationship up until last week, it went 2 yrs. After the 6th month ann. I started to speculate that she was talking to another guy, hiding her phone and what not. So I confronted her and she denied it, life continued to go on. 8 months after that a similar situation happened when she went to a family members wedding on her mothers side (mom and dad are split, and mom and step-dad don't like me at all) she was gone and her sister (who has a tendency to lie) calls me at like 1am asking if I have seen her sister as she has left the bonfire that the after party was at. Well I had said no and tried to contact her but remembered that she had not brought her phone because she was in the wedding. the next morning I had heard from her sister again saying that she had walked off with some marine and the other marine friends also at the wedding would not let her follow, so once again I confronted my ex. we go into a heavy argument and she continued to deny everything yes they walked off but they did nothing, so we stayed together. Recently everything was going well until she told me of a family member (on step-dads side) she was going to see up north, she wouldn't have gone but step-dad bought the plane tics. We get into a small tussle because I have seen her text him and calling him more lately (this is also the first I have ever heard of this family member) she was going to see him supposedly because he was a marine and was going to Alaska for duty. So we got into a small argument over her leaving. She tells me how much she loves me and how much I mean to her and she says she is going to move out with me in Nov. We end the talk say we love each other and she calls me the morning of her flight. we talk some more I say I love you she says it too, and I ask her to call me when she lands so I know she is alright (as she hates to fly), well I hear nothing, I text her that night that I was thinking of her and loved her, still nothing. The next morning I get a text hi and that she is going to a football game and she loves me and she will call later. after that nothing, nothing until around 7:30 the day she is supposed to return home, but her flight was due to take off at 5:50, so she missed her first flight. She calls me from the airport and right away I start to confront her about why she hasn't called and what's going on if it is a family member how come she doesn't txt goodnight or call or something (mind you she went on a bachelor weekend and called me numerous times a day and sent pix txt... so we get into an argument and she txt me when she gets home that she loves me and will call tomorrow. She calls and we get into it again, well I get into it again. She denies everything but at the end says that she loves me and is unsure if she is in-love with me and needs some time, so we don't talk for a week. Longer story short, I call her after the week is over and she says she can't be hurt anymore by my non-trusting attitude and she loves me and is still in-love with me but can't be hurt anymore. I tell her I am sorry and I am going to therapy to help get it fixed to help me and us, she says she just can't but hopes one day that our paths cross, lots of crying and then at the end she says I hope we see each other again, crying I turn and walk away. it has been a week and I am very confused, she told the same thing to my brothers wife, but I have not heard from her, I also know that she was with him the weekend that she and I didn't talk and he is coming out next week... this is a lot of time to be spending with a cousin?! I realize I have trust issues and have been going to therapy for them (healing starts with me, right?!)... I am trying to start to heal but I still have those feelings of hope that what she said she will stick to. It is very hard to see the things I have seen and listen to her say nothing else is going on, he is family, they have spent numerous days together in the past 4 weeks, like three days at a time every week except this one...

I am currently in my second week of therapy(1st week of NC) for the trust issues... for as far back as i can remember i have had them, i tend to give people enough information about me and then it turns around and bites me in the butt... as far as the trust we have had two falling outs over the trust issue she broke up with me becuase i blamed her for cheating, she called after one day of NC and told me she can't be without me... then i meet up with her after work one day and we got into it again, 6-8 months after the first time, once again my trusting her was the issue. i have a fear of being hurt. so the last time she went away for a weekend and i only heard from her 3x 1 text and one call before she got on plane and one before she came back home. she is afraid to fly so i asked her to call when she landed so i know she was ok... well i got a text the next day saying she was going to a football game and she loved me, i sent 2-3 text messages after that and nothing... finally i hear from her on the day of her return and we get into it. she says she loves me and this is worth fighting for for us. the next morning we talked, i argueed and she said she need sometime to think. We talked that evening and she asked for a week, telling me she loves me but was unsure if she was in-love with me... i gave it to her(the hardest week of my life) and then the following wednesday she says she loves me and is in love with me but can't be hurt anymore... she threw in at the end and even told my sister-in-law that, she hopes our paths cross somewhere down the road... now i am reading into that hoping for the end of the path?! i told her i was going to therapy for us and for my problem, but she said she already made up her mind. she had slways said that i would have to break up with her, and if we did we would get back together(early on in the relationship we talked about this)... she also told me that she feel in love with me when we first met and that i was the first guy she ever wanted to move out with and try a future... i was afraid to move out, (this is my very first relationship)... if anyonme can help sorry about the length, thank you.

I am currently in my second week of therapy(1st week of NC) for the trust issues... for as far back as i can remember i have had them, i tend to give people enough information about me and then it turns around and bites me in the butt... as far as the trust we have had two falling outs over the trust issue she broke up with me becuase i blamed her for cheating, she called after one day of NC and told me she can't be without me... then i meet up with her after work one day and we got into it again, 6-8 months after the first time, once again my trusting her was the issue. i have a fear of being hurt. so the last time she went away for a weekend and i only heard from her 3x 1 text and one call before she got on plane and one before she came back home. she is afraid to fly so i asked her to call when she landed so i know she was ok... well i got a text the next day saying she was going to a football game and she loved me, i sent 2-3 text messages after that and nothing... finally i hear from her on the day of her return and we get into it. she says she loves me and this is worth fighting for for us. the next morning we talked, i argueed and she said she need sometime to think. We talked that evening and she asked for a week, telling me she loves me but was unsure if she was in-love with me... i gave it to her(the hardest week of my life) and then the following wednesday she says she loves me and is in love with me but can't be hurt anymore... she threw in at the end and even told my sister-in-law that, she hopes our paths cross somewhere down the road... now i am reading into that hoping for the end of the path?! i told her i was going to therapy for us and for my problem, but she said she already made up her mind. she had slways said that i would have to break up with her, and if we did we would get back together(early on in the relationship we talked about this)... she also told me that she feel in love with me when we first met and that i was the first guy she ever wanted to move out with and try a future... i was afraid to move out, (this is my very first relationship)... if anyonme can help sorry about the length, thank you.

I understand that there is the NC stage and everything, but when we broke up she ended up telling my brothers wife that she hopes one day that our paths will cross again because she truly does love me and is still in love with me... We broke up becuase I have trust issues, which i am getting help for currently. I understand that someone can only get vented on about trusting them for so long before they break. But the week prior we had an argument and he called me after we had hung up and told me that this is worth fighting for and that i would be the one to break up with her because she cares and loves me too much to let this go. Now 1 week into NC i told her i was going to fight for this relatioship and that i was getting help for my trust issues but i have not heard from her at all. This was a girl that couldn't go a couple of hours without talking to me to know this? i guess what i am asking is do the dumpees always say that they hope "our paths will cross in the future..." is this her way of trying to give me hope and hold on to me? she also told me that she is still in-love with me and does love me, that she needs time to find herself also and work on making her happy. we have broken up once before but she called after one day of NC and was crying saying that she couldn't do it anymore, that she can't be without me... i am just hoping that one day i will see her phone number come up on my phone and i will hear her say those words again... can someone please help!!

the reasoning behind me not trusting her was her lying sister, who at the time was dating my good friend. so like any good friend if he heard something from the sister he would tell me, over, and over, and over again. she continued to deny anything ever, and i believed her after awhile, but if something else came up i went right back to not believing her and bringing up the past. now i sit here wondering if i will ever hear from her again hoping that she sees that i am getting help for my trust issues (i have a friend who told me she noticed it also i have known her for 6 years and it took me 4 to finally trust her) and i am trying to better myself, but deep down inside i am doing it so i can show her that we can make this work. she always fought for our relationship she always told me that i was the one, that i meant too much to her to let go...

I understand that there is the NC stage and everything, but when we broke up she ended up telling my brothers wife that she hopes one day that our paths will cross again because she truly does love me and is still in love with me... We broke up becuase I have trust issues, which i am getting help for currently. I understand that someone can only get vented on about trusting them for so long before they break. But the week prior we had an argument and he called me after we had hung up and told me that this is worth fighting for and that i would be the one to break up with her because she cares and loves me too much to let this go. Now 1 week into NC i told her i was going to fight for this relatioship and that i was getting help for my trust issues but i have not heard from her at all. This was a girl that couldn't go a couple of hours without talking to me to know this? i guess what i am asking is do the dumpees always say that they hope "our paths will cross in the future..." is this her way of trying to give me hope and hold on to me? she also told me that she is still in-love with me and does love me, that she needs time to find herself also and work on making her happy. we have broken up once before but she called after one day of NC and was crying saying that she couldn't do it anymore, that she can't be without me... i am just hoping that one day i will see her phone number come up on my phone and i will hear her say those words again... can someone please help!!

I got dumped last week... long story short I thought she was cheating on me and would let her know i thought so and finally she couldn't take it anymore. But after everything we talked and she continued to tell me that it was over that she still loved me, and was still in love with me, but she couldn't be hurt anymore. She has since talked to my brothers wife and told her that she hopes one day that our paths cross again and that she has been hurting this whole time that we have been apart and she loves me very much. So what am i supposed to think, i have been holding on to hope regarding the paths crossing statement. i am pretty much just holding on to that and hoping that she will call someday to tell me she can't do it anymore it hurts too much. anyone else ever been in this situation and what happened? i don't want to hold on to hope but i am so crushed right now...

i was in my first relationship with someone i cared deeply for. the problem was we had communication issues. she would go on vacation and i would hear from her sometimes, and sometimes i would only hear from her once or twice in two or three days. everytime before she would leave we would argue, mostly me argueing with her because i was insecure about her leaving and going away from me. and then i would most of the time start the argueing the minute she called when she returned. well someone can only take so much pain and badgering and she asked for time, said she still loves me but didn't know if she was in love with me... i gave her the time and a week later we talked again, this time she said she still loves me and is in-love with me but she can't be with someone that makes her hurt... i told her i was going to therapy to help the situation (we previously broke up for two days in the past over the same issue and i didn't change). she told me the week prior to the "time" that she believed in us and didn't want anyone else and she was going to move out to where i lived in a month, and i was the one she wants to spend the rest of her life with that the relationship was worth fighting for. now i have no g/f and and i am confused? she told me you never know what will happen in the future, but she told a mutual friend it was a weight off her shoulders when she told me. help...