ginger111080

Yeah, your so right, I have done this & have no longer raised the subject. I appreciate his privacy, DN has helped me see this from a man's point of view. I don't have a history or past I need to hide so it was difficult for me to understand why my husband needed to keep things private from me. I understand that sometimes people do keep things private especially if it's a sore subject....the less I poke into his past the more he's going to respect me & want to be honest with me as you say....thanks for your comment.

Ok i'll go too! 1. He has the greatest butt ever!...in fact it's more pert than mine! 2. He makes me smile so much 3. He always gives me kisses & hugs me 4. He brought me all the way from scotland to the US to live with him! 5. He does everything he can to make me happy 6. He's so cute 7. I know he loves me unconditionally 8. We have the best sex ever! 9. He loves me for me. Oh I really enjoyed doing that!....

I don't think getting married too soon or to young has anything to do with it to be honest, we are both in our late 20's....it's obviously a sore point for him to mention, it happened when the both of them were 17...it's an easy mistake to make at that age!.....

here,here....thank you for that DN & Ta Ree Saw.....I still agree that it's his own business. Good point about the abortion thing aswell, I've never had one but if I had, I have to say I wouldn't ever mention it to my husband, so yeah, that makes me see it from a better point of view. Thanks....it's making me see this whole situation a lot clearer.

I have to say this is my worry too, but he seems to be intent on telling me that what he's hiding will never, ever affect us.......I have not idea how the whole adoption thing works & if he can ever be traced. But it looks like i'll just have to deal with that when the times comes. I'll have to try & pretend to look shocked!.....maybe buy then he will have already told me he has a son.....I hope anyway! All I know is it's a very sore & shameful issue in his life that he wishes only to discuss with his ex. I can only but respect that. Women are so different, we're so open & honest about things.....men are quite happy to hide things & not be so honest. It's something we just have to accept @ times I think. If I were hiding this secret from him, i'd feel sooooo gulity.

We have discussed having children & no we don't have any or I don't anyway, he's told me he doesn't want any, and that he doesn't really like them. To be honest i've never really been interested in children either......I have nooooo motherly instincts at all. I think it is a sore memory for him, any time i feel unwell he panics that i'm pregnant.....I just wish I could be there for him you know......but I sppose me being married to him is enough?

I just want to thank you all for your comments, I agree that it should be left in the past. I shall try & get over this moment in time & move on, once again, thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I've moved abroad with my husband & have left all I know & all my support, family and friends back in the UK. I'm glad I have somewhere to come if I have any more troubles..... xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ok, here it goes. My husband who is 26 has been chatting with an ex girlfriend he dated in high school on myspace, I came into the room while he was talking to her & I noticed she had asked him if I knew about her, he replied "yes, but not about you know what""......so I confronted him about what he had said, he denied there was anything i should know about & not to worry, they were just friends (she is also married), she then mentioned that her mother still hated him, I also questioned him about this, he shrugged it off, saying that they used to get into lots of trouble in school etc,etc.......I refused to accept this. I've since found out, that he has a son with her, she had to give him up for adoption as soon as he was born in 1997 (she was only 17)......I've tried to ask him, or should I say i've said to him that I think his ex & him are hiding something from me & I think I have the right to know what's going on cause i'm his wife. He's told me it will never be discussed, he will never tell me & is making out that nothing has happened. His family & his ex girlfriend are catholics & i'm thinking it's a super big family secret. He's told me that what's happened in his past stays there & he doesn't want to bring anything up as it's not going to affect our relationship and I don't need to know. I feel so much for his ex having to give her baby up, I feel for him too, it must be a terrible burden, I just wish I could be there for the both of them. Please help me, how should I handle this. My husband is very private & doesn't want to discuss anything in his past. I feel things would be so much easier for him if he could be more honest with me. He's been so used to having his own private life, I guess he's still getting used to having to share things with a wife. I don't think he will ever tell me about his son, I know he asks his ex about him & how he is......I wish I could be there for him, but he wont let me. Please help me what should I do?