erinj78

someone told me that too...that if he is to contact me again, then give him the letter. It is a well spoken and calm letter...surprisingly, since I wrote the night of the break up.

No, there is no one else...but if anyone has ever dealt with a narcissist before..knows they are irrational. That is what most of the guys are saying....about getting a respond out of him and I should just keep it to myself...most of the girls are saying closure. So I really don't know what to do.

I have previously posted my horrible break up story last week...but a quick recap, my boyfriend of 3 years (he's 41, I'm 28 ) broke up with me on Valentine's Day over the phone during my lunch break. This was the second time, as the first he did it over i.m. last June and I took him back towards the end of July. Now, my roommate is a social worker..so she is all about getting your emotions out. So I wrote this letter basically telling him everything I was disappointed with and with him. It's a good letter as you never get a word in edgewise with him...cause he's always right and a complete and utter narcissist. So there is no way I have had the opportunity to say these things before. So, most of my males friends say NO!! Most of the girls...say yes. So I am at a crossroad... Do I send the letter or not?

I think more than anything - I feel so stupid. I feel stupid that I did this a second time around with him. I also feel so stupid because of the lack of respect someone can show somebody after 3 years. People don't even stay married for 3 years and he dumps me on Valetine's Day. I think that's why I feel crappier this time around. I didn't even tell my family that we got back together cause I never knew if he was going to break up with me again. I feel so stupid.

Lot's wife? No....

My boyfriend and I were together 3 years. He is 41 and I am 28. We broke up last June (his doing) after 2.5 years together. We got back together 7 weeks later (after he contacted me). We wer doing great, getting along, and I thought things were good. Well I get a call on Valentine's Day saying he wants to break up with me. You heard me right, over the phone (mind you, the first time was over I.M....nice hu?) So not only do I get broken up with on Valentine's Day but over the phone by a grown man. Is the second time around crappier? I think I feel more stupid than anthing else. Anyone else experience a second time brake up? And how did it feel?

Yes, he was married once when he was 30, while in the Marines. It was short lived...maybe less than a year but he stayed married to her for 3 years or she was going to be shipped back to Japan. They didn't live together for anything more than a year. Other than that, I do know I am the longest relationship he has ever had. Which is turn makes me his wippy post. I think he hates me. That's what i really think. He never once made me feel he felt lucky to be with me...it was always i should feel lucky to be with him. He's sucessful and he thinks that is the end all of be all...

I know but you loose a piece of yourself after 3 years with someone. Even though he can suck to the fullest extent...I feel lost. I sound pathetic.

Well, my story will be shocking only because of the extreme of it all. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. He is 41 and I am 28. We haven't always had the rosiest relationship. We are very different people but we have managed to make it work to some extent. He is narcisist (I am convinced of it) and I am more laid back and don't really care about a lot of things. We broke up last June, his doing, because "we werent a good match". This is after he broke up with me 6 times before that. I did the whole no contact thing until my birthday came along in July and he called me. We met for drinks and he asked me back. He told me he wanted to get married and all that biz. Well I took him back. We have been back together since and I thought things we ok. to me he wasn't making any great strides to get married...but I am use to it from him. Well fast forward 7 months later and today he breakes up with me over the phone while I'm on my lunch break. TODAY! Anyway, there is sooooo much more to the story of his bad behavior..that you would shocked. But the pure fact that he would break up with me on Valentine's Day and say to me "It's just Valentine's Day" speaks volumes I know....but HE'S 41!! Oh well.....I guess 7 times being broken up with should tell me something I suppose. ](*,)

Oh ya...after 3 years of being together...

got to love it....on Valentine's day OVER THE PHONE! While I was at lunch.

Well, let's see....this may not be the right forum...but I just got dumped today. Yes, that is right...dumped on Valentine's day. I want it to be known that HE is 41! You heard me right..and i am 28. I hope he is happy.

I don't know why I can't..when he is "good"..he is really good. But when he is pissed at me, he is like the devil. He also forgot to tell me that he got a girl pregnant when he was in the Marine's and has a child, or teenager now. The kid is 12 and all he does is pay child support. Mind you, he told me that he does not want children. Don't know what I am doing...at times I feel that he is a sad puppy. That is how I view my boyfriend. Ughh, I hate talking about this.

Hi All, I have casually read this site for a few months now and this is my first post. My story is kind of a tough one. I am 28 and my boyfriend is 40 (almost 41). We've been dating for almost 3 years. It has been more than hard for the majority of the time. He's a very argumentative person, has to be right, "knows" everything that is good for me, and rarely takes responsibility for the way he speaks to me or his actions. It has been hard for me to be with him. I don't speak my mind to him because I've learnt that it does me no good. His famous line is "why can't you just...." Basically why can't I just do anything right. He knows how to play off of my insecurities. I am an attractive woman. But I have a lot of insecurities about not going to college and being kind of promiscuous in high school. I lied to him about that when we first started dating cause I was embarrassed. He managed to find of about my life by either doing some investigative work himself or hiring someone to get info on me. At times I feel like I am being followed by someone...or my roommate and I laugh...but we at times think it is true..that he has planted a web cam outside of our house. Whether either are true or not...this relationship is not healthy. Off track a bit, so at any rate; aside from the no trust thing...he has also broken into my email on about 5 occasions to read my email. Then would have the gall to approach me about the things in my email. This went on for about 1.5 years. He broke up with me in June. This what probably 5th time. We were broken up for 5 weeks..my birthday came along in July and he called me. Did the usual and said the usual things to get someone back. I took him back...of course it was blissful for all of a month and then he started doing what he does best....gives me the silent treatment when he doesn't like something I have done or said. This can last a couple days and at most it has been 5 days. I HATE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING. I'll remind you, he's almost 41. The silent treatment, got to love it. Anyway, I think he is doing right now to me. He will just ignore me. I don't know what to do. I'm not happy. And at this age, I feel like I've been in a relationship or married to someone for 40 years and we're at the point were we just don't get along anymore. I'm at a lost. Any help would do. Thx