michelle25
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Everything posted by michelle25
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Starfall, i just reread your post, and you are right. I am relying on him to make me happy, on his call to allow me to have a good day. When he doesn't call, Im sad all day. He's not worth it! I really am relying on him and if he calls or not to be happy. He has hurt me a lot, and he doesn't respect me as you all say..
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Thank you! He has been so cruel lately, i almost feel he doesn't even deserve a goodbye from me. He is able to ignore me, and not care that I am TRYING SO HARD to make up and move forward, but he just blows me off. I think I will either call him or email him and just tell him his behavior is not making me feel loved, and that he can now be happy on his own. He sure acts like he doesn't want me around, so hope he just allows me to heal. He is so strange though, because he will tell me im so annoying, I don't have much to offer him, then he breaks up. He eventually will call me back and say he misses me, and we are back together. No more, I don't want this cycle to continue. I appreciate all of your responses. It hurts so much, but I no longer want this pain he puts me through. the good times aren't worth it anymore
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I posted the other day, and was given some great advice, basically all saying I should leave my boyfriend. Hes been making it easy lately to be angry by not paying much attention at all. We got into a disagreement last Tues, and since then, hes either ignored me, or replied with "chill out, Im just busy working and need peace." He always does this when we get into fights. He acts like I don't exist, then will call me days later. Its a horrible way to handle problems, and I even apologize, admit I was wrong, etc.... He puts me through hell every time I do something he doesn't like, and this past time I pissed him off, hes made no attempt to contact me on his own. I came on this board initially because he had shoved me, and slapped my arm, so I became scared. Im asking you all the best way to just put leave all this. Would doing NC and not even telling him be the best way. I don't even know if he will snap out of this "silent" phase towards me, or if he actually wants me to take a hint and leave him alone for good. I do know his behavior and treatment towards me is driving me crazy, making me insecure, and basically ruining my day wondering why hasn't he called, why did he say that to me, etc.... Basically Im hurt every week, and it may be my fault, but I know deep down I dont deserve it as you all have said.
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Thank you for sharing your experiences, and for the encouragement! I need it. I'll admit, Im weak, and even though i know this situation is far from right, I just cling to the good times, to when he was so sweet. WRONG, i know, and I wish I wasn't like that. Beyondthesea, you said you were in this kind of relationship. When you finally got the strength to leave, did you eventually recover? I hear when you get out of an abusive relationship, you stop missing the person persae, and you just have to work on getting your self esteem. I have a feeling that if I give someone else a chance, which I haven't, I may see that "normal" men have so much more to offer, and the good times I CLING to in this relationship, will be all the time if I find someone other than the loser Im with. I truly value each response. It helps me to put things in perspective.
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I think he just responded because I kept asking him why he hasn't called me over such a small incident.. He finally emailed back and just said im busy working (at home) so just chill its all good.... He has still yet to call me, or make ANY attempt on his part to contact me.. I will start doing NC. This is absolutley nuts. Its like he is smiling knowing im going crazy at his lazy attempts, if he even attempts at all, to contact me back. How much effort does it take, even if he is busy, to call, say hello, and be personable. You are right, no normal human being would be like this, even if they were busy...
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He just emailed me right now and said "im not upset, Im just working and need some peace. Just chill." Those were his exact words... So, he treats me like crap bc he is working....
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You are both very right. I never have been abusive, I annoy sometimes, but NEVER abusive. I always forgive him right away. I never looked at it that way. I read the article. Thanks! It sounded a lot like him! He is so kind and understanding, then he ruins it all by doing this. I need to get angry over this and stop being my sensitive caring self when I deal with him. I know what I need to do. thanks again
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you are all right. it would be a waste of time to stay with him. I just remember last week how hard he was trying, and even when I was aggravating him, he didn't get upset. I think I may have pushed his buttons too much this time, but his actions are not right, no matter what I did, correct? Was the kindness and effort on his part this past 2 weeks just temporary? I feel that I really did overreact at some things, and maybe that led him to become so sick of me, that he is just taking a break from it... I don't know, but deep down i feel that no matter what I did to aggravate him, his reactions are not right? Why do I feel so torn about leaving him, and feel that its my fault, and if I let issues go, he wouldn't be ignoring me right now...
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I textd him last night, because i had not heard one word from him all day, even when I texd him asking him how his day was going. I said I was sorry if I caused anything, ( i was just trying to mend the situation and move forward) and asked if we could just put this behind us. He texd me back and said, "im home im just tired." I replied, but he didn't even respond back. I dont know if he is playing with my feelings or what, but I am making a committment to make no further contact on my part. Thank you everyone who responded, they helped so much
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what you all said makes perfect sense. He knows I go back to him each time, and he was being so kind for about 2 weeks, not letting things get to him..... Sure enough, I bring something up that bothers me, and he laughs and starts telling me im drama. It drives me insane when I try to talk like an adult and he just laughs and hangs up on me.. I will heed all of your advice, and do my best to put him out of my life. Honestly, the bad times outweigh the good at this time. I was fooled for about 3 weeks that he really could change, that he really did want things to work for good, but then he treats me like this, and I realize it never will work. I believe that physical abuse, even once, should not be tolerated, but its SO hard to leave, but I know i have to.
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Im just confused as to how he says, and many times shows me, how much he cares and wants me to be successful, but then he can turn around and be so cruel the next. Honestly, life is sort of becoming boring with him. I am still just as attracted to him as I was 3 years ago, but it seems that he is so used to me being around, we don't do the fun things we used to together. He hasn't even called me today. I texd him after all of this happened yesterday, and I asked him how his day is going. He hasn't responded to me, but thats like him. I think he has told me he was proud of me once. Other than that, he is constantly making me hurry through school, get my degree, make more money, and you know what, he may be doing it only for my good, but deep down it seems like he is trying to change me. I live with my parents, he tells me NOT to move out one minute because of the rent costs, then the next he uses it against me in an argument, telling me I make no money, I live at home, and all i do is cause drama. I want to be free of this, but I love him so much, and I feel that I may be causing him to ignore me because he is so sick of things.. I am going to try and do NC, and not call or text him anymore...
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yes, he generally has a hot temper when things dont go his way. Lately he really has been pressuring me to speed up school, do things to make more money, and im in my early 20's. You know what he did last night when I tried to talk to him about a problem I felt we were having. He laughed at me and said, "ok baby, Ill call you tomorrow." Like it didn't matter. I called him back, and he got mad, saying I was always drama, and said he will leave me soon if I keep this up. He told me that I don't make enough money, (im a student by the way) I live at home, and the only reason he stays with me is because he will be worried I can't make it without him. Those were his exact words. I wrote him an email after that saying that I would be perfectly fine without him, so go ahead and leave me if he wanted. He replied with "stop this, be simple." I give him the option to leave, I tell him Ill be fine without him. He called me this morning, but i missed the call and tried to call him back. He didn't answer, and I havent heard from him all day. His method for making me pay sometimes is not talking to me all day. Im just hurt right now, and I don't know what to do. He truly cares about me and shows it in so many ways, and we both love each other very much, but the way he has been treating me sucks!
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Hello, Im new here, but Im having some difficulties in my relationship with my boyfriend. He is so dear to me, and i love him so much. He does have a tendency to become tempermental pretty easy. He puts up with a lot from me, but let me point out, I am never violent, never hurt him, nor do I cuss at him or say unkind things. I can just get emotional or overreact, non of which Im saying are right, but Im not perfect. The other day, he grabbed my phone from me because he thought he saw something suspicious, threw me down on the couch, would NOT give me back my phone.... I then tried to explain how innocent the matter was, it really was nothing, but he kept arguing and arguing, and when I went to get my phone from him, he slapped my arm away really hard. He then shoved me and started yelling at me and saying I always cause problems. He was physically abusive once before since our 3 years together. My question is, should I consider leaving him due to this? It scared me. We made up, and lately he has really been trying to treat me well, and he has, but what he did the other day reminded me of his tempermental, scary side. Is it worth staying with him?