michelle25
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Posts
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I'm glad to know this is what others enjoy as well. The other night I went out to this club near by the beach, and it was such a scene. Everyone was trying to look better than the other, my girlfriend and I were getting hit on by guys that were much older, and I ended up getting drunk and having a hangeover. hmmm... It's fun once in a while, but as you said Raykay, maybe I'll just stick to the pub type bar from now on... Honestly, having my alone time is so important to me, and as you said tareesaw, I will live it up now when I'm single. =)
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Yea, it's my preference! I don't have a boyfriend, so it CAN get lonely, but I am very active with school, my job, church, so I'm confident I will meet someone someday, and I will have all my "alone time" out of the way.. Sometimes though, I do get down in thinking that I may be single for the rest of my life. haha.
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Hello Everyone, I haven't posted here in a while, but just had a general question.. I got out of a pretty tumultous relationshp a while ago, and since then, I've kinda changed. I guess in a good way, because my priorities are different, I've matured... I go on dates here and there, but I'm not really interested in anyone yet. I'm in school, taking 2 summer classes, and I stay active on my own. To add, I'm 24, have a lot going for me, yet I don't like to go out that much. By going out I mean on friday and saturday nights when my friends are out at clubs are bars, I am at home. It's not that I don't have friends, its just that I stay home more than I go out. Do other 24 year olds feel this way? Please tell me I'm not the only 24 year old left that prefers to have a glass of wine and watch a movie at home on saturday night.
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You are right. I have a lot of time on my hands until Im going out with my friends, and I think thats when I get into trouble. Yes, he does NOT deserve any of my time or attention. Even thinking of him for a few moments isn't even worth my time. The fact that he can ignore me for all of this time says enough. i'll remember the time he told me to "shut the f*** up" and when he made me leave. I bet you if i was to go to his place this weekend, I would probably be thrown out of his place anyways because I said the wrong thing or moved the wrong way. At least Im around people that truly love me, and would never dream of saying the things he has to me. Thanks for the encouragement. I will get through the weekend by being strong and not calling him.
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Thank you! I know I will get past it. I am confident I will. I think im having a "moment" since its the weekend, and I would already be at his place right now. He ignores me, calls me horrible names, treats me like a child, and I still think of the good times. Crazy.. I can't even imagine how good it will feel to be with a man who will allow me to be myself, love me for me, and would never think of putting me through this hell that my ex has. I don't know any different, stayed with him too long,and started to believe this is how I should be punished if I "act up." In all honesty, men are always showing interest in me, Im on my way to a great career, and I have a lot to offer someone because I was brought up in a strong family where I was taught to love and be loyal. (sorry, had to make myself feel good again.) I guess I will move on, find happiness, and my ex will always be the way he is, treating women lousy, and never finding true happiness. Maybe he will be happy, who knows, but at least in my heart I know even though I wasn't perfect, I was loyal and loving to him, and gave him everything. Thanks for the support. I will do NC and not give in, but it does get hard at times. I think soon i will be laughing at the fact that I was so 'in love' with this man, and it took me so long to leave him. I've heard it from many that if I keep doing NC, I will be kicking myself and saying, "what the heck was I thinking."
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Well, overall I've been doing much better. I haven't made contact with my ex since I texd him tues, and we haven't spoke since Monday. I was foolish, and tried to make up with him on tues, even after he yelled at me, told me to shut up, and threw me out of his place. I thought maybe he would feel sorry too, and text me back. Nope. but, he gave me a blessing in disguise, because since he hasn't contacted me, its made me see what a truly uncaring man he is. Some things are still bothering me though. He usually ignored me or gave me silent treatment after we fought no matter who's "fault" it was, but I think this time I really pissed him off. (what else is new.) I can't get over that before we got into the fight monday, he bought me some nice things, and i left them at his place not knowing we would break up (AGAIN). In the angry email I wrote him the night he sent me home, I said to f*** the stuff I left at his place, get rid of it all, and basically forget all that we had together. I was SO mad, (see previous posts) over his treatment towards for such a small issue, that I lost it before I let my head clear. It really hurt and angered me how he wouldn't let me talk, kept cussing me out, and basically shut the door in my face on my way out, now ignores me. What is wrong with me that I feel bad about the angry email I wrote?? Maybe Im worried he actually did throw all my stuff out, and he could care less about me, and im sitting here thinking of him. By doing NC, will I soon start caring less and less about him? I guess Im just clinging to the few times that we had fun together, when he bought me nice things, etc... I know thats only half, if maybe even a small portion of him, and I need to really focus on who he really is. Why do I miss him? Its the weekend, and Im not going to call, but the fact I wrote such an angry email, and he is still ignoring me hurts so much.. I miss him, feel angry, and hurt all at the same time. I wish I could just be jumping for joy that im out of this verbally and mentally abusive relationship, but Im not.
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haha. you're right. he is near 40 years old, and he still acts like a child. i guess I was the only one that would put up with him, thats why he is still single in his mid 30's. I don't wish him bad, but i don't know if any woman will ever make him happy, nor take the crap i did. it was the routine I am missing, not him or his antics. thanks!
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I need to let it go with everything I have. I love him so much, and he has been my "way of life" for 3 years now, and I don't know if soon, once my head is clear, I will feel relief, but right now I feel so sad. We really didn't do much together either . We went to lunch/dinner together on the weekend, did some sort of excercise activity once a day, and then it was just sitting around from 3pm til we went to bed. Being young, a lot younger than him, that just was kinda boring to me, but I just wanted to be with him so I didn't complain about it. Im thinking that if I stick with strict NC, and give other guys a chance, I will see that this man was SO not worth me staying around for all this time.. This was my first long term relationship, so does this happen? Was I just clinging to the "routine" we had for so long? I Feel that he has said and done so many hurtful things to me, that I may have more anger and bitterness about him than i ever realized. I need to find some way to stick with STRICT NC, and not give in to calling him. He has been ignoring me, so he has made it easy to become angry, and not give in to his attempts, which have been none.. He's never been the kind to apologize, he admits he has an anger problem, but never says he is genuinly sorry nor shows it in any way. IE: flowers, a note, a nice gesture- never! I am ALWAYS the one, no matter who's fault it was, getting him flowers, writing notes, saying Im sorry. Thats not normal is it? I feel I try so hard to make up each time we fight, yet he throws everything back in my face and ignores ME. Like it was ALL me and he needs to teach me a lesson. Sorry, I was just venting, because Im really hurt and angry over all this.. I see the light, and I will do strict NC from now on. I have to, i can't keep feeling like this.
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Hubman. Thats exactly what I need to work on and realize, as most posters have said here. I am not perfect, but relationships are supposed to build each other up, not break each other down. All I know is no matter what I did or didn't do, him telling me to shut up, constant ignoring me every time we have a fight, hurts so much. I texd him last night very insignificant, and he has been ignoring me since Monday. Sad isn't it? I had a contribution in the fight, but he was the one who threw me out, told me repeatedly to shut up, and kept making me feel like I was so inferior to him. He is ignoring ME. I feel like just changing me number or something. Im so sick of having my head messed with by this abusive jerk, and I know the key is staying strong, doing NC, and believing that I will find the right man when I let this man go.
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No, I never have and never will criticize my boyfriend of put him down for anything. If i had the urge, and I have, I walk away from the situation and return once my head is clear. He has done some nasty things, and I still have been the one to apologize, try to make things right... Maybe thats why he felt he could do so much to me, because I never yelled at him for his actions. I sure let him know that it hurt me, but in all reality every wrong move I made he was right there to yell at me or tell me to shut up... I have my answers, and I will keep reading these posts over and over if he ever calls or if I have the urge to call him...
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Good, I thought so Beyondthesea, but 2 people have already suggested it may be something I did, and even being in the midst of all this, my heart is still saying that I am not perfect, but I did not deserve that treatment. I was so cool with him through all his hard times, respected him, his privacy, took care of his place everytime he was gone, and if I said or did one thing he didn't like, he lashed out. I pointed out before that not once, and I can say this in all honesty, have I called him a name, been cruel, cussed at him.. thereforeeee I know that his reaction to my imperfections is way off base. Thanks for encouraging me and letting me know it would never be right to go back to him. It is like Im trying and trying over and over and it never seems enough. Awful feeling!
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Could it be me and im not seeing it? i know his reaction isn't right but do you think if i did something different he wouldn't react the way he did, or will he treat anyone, no matter what they are like the way he treated me.
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I was myself. To point out, I was NOT once cruel, and I can say that with all honesty. I never put him down or yelled at him, but of course I was upset and it lasted for a few minutes when he said cruel things. It hurt so I stayed upset for about 30 min. I did give him attitude sometimes, but I always apologized. Im not saying Im perfect by any means, but RayKay you are right, I did not provoke him in any way that deserved verbal abuse. He was basically asking me to be perfect, because if I did ANYHING he didn't like, he would yell at me. Sometimes he would be patient but most of the time not. I see my girlfriends and the way they act around their boyfriends and I do nothing different, in fact not too much bothers me, Im actually a chill person. I wonder sometimes if it really was me, and if I was different maybe he wouldnt be so verbally abusive. I don't know, but I dont think I did anything to deserve him blowing up every time he did. For example yesterday, I thought he didn't want dessert anymore, so I bought myself something, and he saw it and said "so you buy yourself something but not me, go figure." He said it with such cruelty. Then he kept telling me he was sick of this, sick of that, told me to shut up and made me leave.
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Thanks! I believe there is that right person for everyone too if we just let it happen and not stay with the jerks. =)
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blender: Thanks so much for the encouragement. I will forget about my stuff, and focus on myself now. Those good times were just moments, because he could snap and be so cruel the next minute. I can do this, i know, I just need to forget my things, forget what he is thinking or why he doesn't care or call, and just move on! I will post here if I get weak, but I know ultimatley what needs to happen, because he will not change and just blame it all on me.