Alistair

The way I see this is that the lack of communication is to blame for this whole thing. Sure you have bad points and thing you might need to change, but I'm sure she does as well. My point is that she should have talked to you about this before she decided to break it off, not after. If anyone is to blame then it is her, not you. what you need to do now is talk to her properly face to face. It doesn't matter that she is seeing someone else because 4 YEARS really means something! Sit her down let EVERYTHING come out and let her do the same as it is the only way of finding out true wants and feeling of both parties. Maybe then you can come to an agreement on issues. Whether it means you guys get back together or not, you will at least know where you stand with her and it will stop you going insane. Good luck, man - I hoped this helped a bit.

It seems to me that this woman has not helped ( in the long run) with your problems. The perfect fix for you is to forget about her (at least for now.) You should go out with your friends, get drunk and get laid. Then take a look at what you've got. You will realize that fun is the most important thing. Life is a gift - LIVE IT.

Thank you. I guess I have a decision to make. Rock on!!

Um, I've never done this kinda thing before but I think i need to. I kinda went out with this girl (X) for a few months. She always insisted that she never wanted a boyfriend which I said was fine with me. But I really wanted more and eventually had to (painfully) break it off with her. I really missed her for a while but assumed it would pass. I started seeing someone else (Y) who adores me but, unfortunately, it has made me realise that I'm actually in love with X. Im 19 and have never been in love before but Im pretty sure I am - It f**king hurts! She has a boyfriend now and we still kinda keep in contact. I cant talk to anyone about as I find it hard to open cause I've always lived by the rule "knowledge is power". I honestly dont know what to do. I have to break up with Y but she is a very good friend and I don't know how to do it without telling her the truth as I think it would really hurt her. But X is my main concern. It's been four months since we stopped seeing each other- Do I tell her how i feel? Do I avoid her? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.