I was the luckiest man to

Give you a hug first since I am in the similar situation, but the difference is that we broke up because of that I did not treat my gf the ways she deserved. We had been together for 21 months, not as long as you, thus, I understand that it is so hard for you right now. Many people in this forum will ask you don’t call him, he will call you if he want you back, move on with your life and so on…..Yes, in some point, they are correct, and I am sure that all of them are nice people who have been through this before. Nonetheless, DON’T just simply take other people’s advices, they are not you! Relationship is very complicated and you have you hand it by yourself. You have been together with him for four years, he must be very sad as well at the moment unless he is not a human. What am I trying to tell you is that FOLLOW YOUR HEART. If you want to talk to him, then talk to him, but make sure you give each other some time to think about the relationship before you talk to him. What if you are waiting for his call and he is waiting for your call, and at the end, none of you called. So, follow your heart.

Thank you guys so much!!! I am a little confused by you guy’s opinions. On one hand, I love her so much and I feel so sorry I did not cherish her, and I am now willing to do anything to save the relationship if I can. On the other hands, I think that you guys are right, I should not do the Valentine’s day thing. I should respect her decision. I was going to write poem for her every week and then give them to her on the day she finish her study in UK. However, I do not think I am going to do it anymore since you guys said that is self-obsession, and I agree. But I really love her, you know, I really care about her. If she had an accident and need my organ now, I will do it immediately without any thoughts. Honey, I love you, so much, so much……please look after yourself…..please be happy…..I love you. Bye, my angel

No no no. That is not a good idea at all. You are only going to get hurt worse if you do that. You will also make her angry at you. At the very MOST- mail her a letter where you can have everything well thought out and state it in a calm manner. It is rude to show up if you have not been invited by her and it again shows a lack of self-control, which exactly what you DON'T want to do- if she already thinks you can't control your anger/feelings. Remember- that is one of the reasons she left you. By showing up and exhibiting that lack of self-control- you're just re-affirming her decision to leave you. I hope you re-think that idea. BellaDonna Thank you so much, as I thought, you are a very clever woman and your analysis is very logical and rational. I totally agree with you except the last one which saying that I should not show up on Valentine's Day with a bunch of flowers. The reason I want to go to her place with a bunch of flowers because I did not anything for her on Valentine's Day when we were together. thereforeeee, I want to do something for her by bring a bunch of flowers, though we broke up already. Also, I want to return her stuff back to her (her pyjama and thing likes that, since anything remind me of her will make to cry). I will be very calm on that day, just say goodbye and possibly a hug depends on how she react. If she will be at home, then probably she will see me. However, if she will not be at home, I will give her a call to see if she wants to come to see me for the last time. If she says "no", then I will just leave the flowers and everything in the front of her room. After that, I will try forget about her completely and never seen her again. There are twenty days until Valentine's Day, I am not going to contact her AT ALL during these days, and I presume this is a sign of good self-control. Once again, thank you so much for replying my post.

First of all, I would like to say a BIG THANK YOU to all of you who replied my post, it made me feel better. I normally do not like chat online or telling something like this in the web site. However, this time I am relay hurt and I want to change myself to become a good boyfriend. To showing my appreciation to you guys, I have added more information about myself in my profile and I will keep you guys up to date if you are interested. You are ABSOLUTELY correct, that is why I am so pissed off with myself. She was crossed with me for the reason that I only care about what I like, do not listen to her…..Unfortunately, I did not know that hurt her so much. She is really SWEET. She was always there when I am unhappy; every time, when I came back from the factory, she was always waiting for me in the front of her dormitory, waving her hand and gave me the sweetest smile in the world; she will not start cook until I went to the shower, because she wanted me to have warm food after I finish my shower; she often text me and saying "I have been thinking of you", or call me in the mid of night saying " I just want to hear your voice"…….anyway, she is too nice to me. Sometimes, I was wondering why I am so lucky on the earth. She is very pretty, well-educated, and come from a wealth family. She can find a better boyfriend if she want. I am going to contact her in the next two weeks, you guys are right, I should give her more space to think. I am planning to see her on Valentine's Day with a bunch of flowers. I will not wait for 12 hours; I just want to see her in person for the last time before I disappear completely in her life. I am not sure if she wants to see me. I am not expecting her back anymore, because I know that I hurt her too much.

I understand exactly how do you feel.I don't want to ask you move on becasue I know you love her so much. The only thing I can do is give you a hug and say"take care of yourself, buddy!".

My name is Bruce, my English name though. I am a 25-year-old Chinese boy who is funny, sporty and strive to excellence. My (ex) girlfriend is a German who is 22-year-old, beautiful, easy-going, very nice personality and very good manner. We met each other in the British university and we were together for one year and nine months. We both now are studying our Master in different British university, 2 hours by train from each other. We visited each other almost every week since we started our master study in the UK. On 15th of January 2006, she was so excited about my visit on Sunday, 21st of January 2006. She was talking about what are we going to do on the weekend and she said that she would like to introduce me to her friends. In the evening of 17th of January 2006, she sounded very sad on the phone and I sensed something wrong was going on. I said what's going on, honey? She did not speak, then, I said the mot stupid things in my entire life. I said: "honey, don't be so sad. If you want to end up the relationship, that's fine with me. I love you; I just want you be happy" She cried on the phone and said: "Bruce, I am sorry, I am sorry." Two minutes after that, I got a text from her saying "Bruce, please be safe and let me know how is things going, I do not want to loss contact with you". Suddenly, I realised we broke up, it was 12 mid-night. I jumped out of my bed, and phoned her "it seems we broke up, I want to know why?" She gave me two reasons: 1, she is afraid of my anger, she knows I will put all the blames on her if she told me that she had a stalker. She said she need a supporting boyfriend if she had a stalker not and boyfriend who blames her. 2: she need more space, she wants to be herself. I asked her give me a chance and she cried and refused. That was the end of the conversation. Suddenly, I realised how much I care bout her, how much I love her and I just made the most stupid mistake in my entire life. I could not sleep anymore, cried and wrote her an email to tell her how stupid I was and how wonderful she is. The next two days, I did some serious thinking about us for the first time. I realised three things: 1, she loved me so much but I did not cherish; 2, I should never ever say "if you want to end the relationship, that is fine with me; 3, I am going to do whatever I can to save the relationship. So, on Friday night (the third day after we broke up), I got on the train with a bunch of roses. It was 10pm when I arrived in the front of her house, she wasn't at home and so I started waiting. I decided to show her that I can change my bad temper by standing in the front of her house until next morning. One hour later, I got a text from her, saying "Are the reports of you are standing in the front of my house right? If yes, I can tell you now that I will not give you another chance, my only offer is friendship." I did not reply her text, at 12pm, I was so cold and I text her "I just want to show you that I can change and I want you back." No reply from her, and later on I tried to call her but her phone was switched off. At 2:30am, I was so cold, the temperature was-2. I did not understand why switched her phone and let me standing there. Doesn't she worry about my safety, or how cold it is? I was so sad. So, I stopped the police car, the policeman got me a taxi back home. After I got back home, I cried all the time. I cried not because we broke up but because I had a girl who is so perfect to me and I love her so much, but I did not realise that since I always put my study first. I could not stop thinking of her and crying. I phoned her and told her how I feel at the moment. She cried on the phone as well and said "sorry to cause you so much pain, but I can not give you another chance." Two days later, I called her again and beg for a chance, she was cool on the phone this time and said that she did not want to deal with me anymore. I sensed that she got some other bloke. We were together for 21 months and she loved me so much; I was very sweet to her sometimes. I was being grumpy because I put too much focus on my study, thereforeeee, I did not realise that how much she loved me. The worst thing is that I did not realise I care about her a lot and love her so much. Why she suddenly become so cruel to me? She does not want to answer my phone, email….i dare not to contact her at the moment. I love her so much and want her back. I am willing to do anything! I was planning to stand in the front of her hosue for 24 hours with bunch of roses on Valentine's Day. However, I think that will only push her further away from me, so, give up this idea. I really love her and I know how to be a good boyfriend now. Unfortunately, I do not know how to get her back to me. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee help. My email, [link removed[/email]

BellaDonna BellaDonna BellaDonna BellaDonna BellaDonna BellaDonna First of all, I would like to explain why I want to tell you my story. I found this website yesterday because I was looking for some remedy to get my girlfriend back through google. I have read a few of your posts and realised that you are a very rational and intelligent women and I would like to ask for your advice if that is possible. Please read my story, I beg you! The woman I just lost is so important to me. My name is Bruce, my English name though. I am a 25-year-old Chinese boy who is funny, sporty and strive to excellence. My (ex) girlfriend is a German who is 22-year-old, beautiful, easy-going, very nice personality and very good manner. We met each other in the British university and we were together for one year and nine months. We both now are studying our Master in different British university, 2 hours by train from each other. We visited each other almost every week since we started our master study in the UK. On 15th of January 2006, she was so excited about my visit on Sunday, 21st of January 2006. She was talking about what are we going to do on the weekend and she said that she would like to introduce me to her friends. In the evening of 17th of January 2006, she sounded very sad on the phone and I sensed something wrong was going on. I said what’s going on, honey? She did not speak, then, I said the mot stupid things in my entire life. I said: “honey, don’t be so sad. If you want to end up the relationship, that’s fine with me. I love you; I just want you be happy” She cried on the phone and said: “Bruce, I am sorry, I am sorry.” Two minutes after that, I got a text from her saying “Bruce, please be safe and let me know how is things going, I do not want to lost contact with you”. Suddenly, I realised we broke up, it was 12 mid-night. I jumped out of my bed, and phoned her “it seems we broke up, I want to know why?” She gave me two reasons: 1, she is afraid of my anger, she knows I will put all the blames on her if she told me that she had a stalker. She said she need a supporting boyfriend if she had a stalker not and boyfriend who blames her. 2: she need more space, she want to be herself. I asked her give a chance and she refused. That was the end of the conversation. Suddenly, I realised how much I care bout her, how much o love her and I just make the most stupid mistake in my entire life. I could not sleep anymore, cried and wrote her an email to tell her how stupid I was and how wonderful she is. The next two days, I did some serious thinking about us for the first time. I realised three things: 1, she loved me so much but I did not cherish; 2, I should never ever say “if you want to end the relationship, that is fine with me; 3, I am going to do whatever I can to save the relationship. So, on Friday night (the third after we broke up), I got on the train with a bunch of roses. It was 10pm when I arrived in the front of her house, she wasn’t at home and so I started waiting. I decided to show her that I can change my bad temper by standing in the front of her house until next morning. One hour later, I got a text from her, saying “Are the reports of you are standing in the front of my house right? If yes, I can tell you now that I will not give you another chance, my only offer is friendship.” I did not reply her text, at 12pm, I was so cold and I text her “I just want to show you that I can change and I want to back.” No reply from her, and later on I tried to call her but her phone was switched off. At 2:30am, I was so cold, the temperature was-2. I did not understand why switched her phone and let me standing there. Doesn’t she worry about my safety, or how cold it is? I was so sad. So, I stopped the police car, the policeman got me a taxi back home. After I got back home, I cried all the time. I cried not because we broke up but because I had a girl who is so perfect to me and I love her so much, but I did not realise that since I always put my study first. I could not stop thinking of her and crying. I phoned her and told her how I feel at the moment. She cried on the phone as well and said “sorry to cause you so much pain, but I can not give you another chance.” Two days later, I called her again and beg for a chance, she was cool on the phone this time and said that she did not want to deal with me anymore. I sensed that she got some other bloke. We were together for 20 21 months and she loved me so much; I was very sweet to her sometimes. I was being grumpy because I put too much focus on my study, thereforeeee, I did not realise that how much she loved me. The worst thing is that I did not realise I care about her a lot and love her so much. Why she suddenly become so cruel to me? She does not want to answer my phone, email….i dare not to contact her at the moment. I love her so much and want her back. I am willing to do anything! I was planning to stand in the front of her hosue for 24 hours with bunch of roses on Valentine’s Day. However, I think that will only push her further away from me, so, give up this idea. I really love her and I know how to be a good boyfriend now. Unfortunately, I do not know o how to get her back to me. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee help. My email, email removed

hi,BellaDonna I am very new in this forum and just want to try if I can make a post here since I have not subcribed.i will tell you my story if this works.