lonelymountian

Yeah it bothers me alot to know she is dating. We have been split for four months but i have always had the hope of getting back together. It is just really hard to accept NC, i would rather have it once a week to see her and show her that i am a new person? I feel like i should try and "win her back" from this guy, and i know it impossible but if she would drop him i would be stoked. Wont happen, yeah i know. But i just cant give up on her, on the girl i love, and i feel that NC is a sure way to do that. If we maybe saw each other once a week? what do you think?

hi nataliejulie and others, did you or your ex at the time date other people or did you both have the intention of resuming a relationship? I have kinda the same situation- but maybe i havent been as strong as you. We were together 3 years, and have been split for 4 months. we have talked and had good times together, even went on a vacation. We split because i partied too hard, and in the darkest hour slept with someone else while we were on a "break". I guess i had to know that she (my ex) was the one i wanted for my whole life, and now she is dating someone else... I have done the whole begging bit, flowers, etc. and i feel that she has forgotten the old me? how would i show her that i still love her with all of my heart but make her WANT to come back, and not push like i have been? I dont party anymore and have seen that the people i spent time with were not good for me, but i think it is that she cant trust me or does not know what she wants...

so, to answer your question, no i didnt see her. I saw her at the bar last night and she wanted to know where her purse was. i had sent it to the cleaners to be cleaned, bu ti got it back. so i was with my friends and she was with hers, and we said a few words and a hug and then i left because i coulndnt take it. she said she would call me today, and she did at about seven, and said she was going to play guitar with her friend and maybe we could have lunch tomorrow. i said no, and asked if she really wanted to see me. we hung up. then i called her back and said that yes i would like to have dinner with you, and she said it would be too much. I asked why ans she said that lunch was okay, but...then i asked her if she was still dating and she said yes she was still dating a guy she had met. I dont know what to do...I want to write her a letter and tell her how i feel, i want her to see me as she did before, but she doesnt really want to i guess. how do i get my baby back? im so confused.. there is no one in this world that i would rather spend my life with, no one that i care about more than her. she is my angel, and i feel my life is a wreck without her........ She is enjoying her time i know, and i know that i am the ex, but i cant give up on her. i dont want to do nc with her because i feel that when we do we only grow apart, and that is not what i want for us. i guess im just super bummed right now at this whole thing.. But what do i di tomorrow when i see her? its going to hurt i know and i want to tell her everything that i feel, but i also want her to see that i am strong and can take care of her and show her the world..how do i react now? Any help would be the best thing you cdan give me, thank you

I dont know where to begin but i really like this site and it is consoling to know that we are not alone in our plights. My ex and i broke up four months ago, after a relationship of 3 years. she is now 27 and i 24. There was nothing that could stop us when we were together, and we had so much laughter, smiles and affection and deep love for each other then. We split mutually after a night of fighting (towards the end it got intense), we both cried alot and werent sure if it was the right thing. Ever since we broke up we have seen each other, had dinner together and pretty much still being like the lovers we were. I believe that she is my soulmate, and want her back soo badly. i came on maybe too strong after we broke up with the gushiness ...my mistake but i was, yes, desperate... It sounds like everyone elses (there are alot of us, no?) but i'm confused now... We hadnt spoken for a week until today when she called me twice and left messages. I didnt call her back until tonight, and she said that she wanted to switch her phone bill out of my name and into hers ( i have been paying it b/c it not too expensive and, well I love her??) But the real thing she called about was to tell me that she misses me. We have both been doing other things and we both dated other people, but each of us confessed that we werent happy. The hardest part of this was that i had walked by her while she was on a date. It crushed me for a while, but made me a little stronger i guess. So i told her about my date and she asked a thousand questions, and it sounded like she was the jealous one. I told her that I took a girl out, to a fancy restaurant, but i just wasnt into her. I told my ex that there is no one else i want to date. We talked a little more and started talking about how much fun we had together and reminiscing about old times... Then we talked about hanging out again, she said she would like to see me. The hard part is that she said she doesnt want to hurt me again, and she doesnt was to have to push me away again. I told her that i realized that one cant control the universe and that there is nothing else i can do to "make" her be with me again, and said that it would be cool- we can just laugh and be sweet to each other. I was planning on seeing her this weekend, and she says, want to have dinner tonight? I declined because i was working but said that we can hang out soon... so i guess my question tonight is how do i act when we see each other? I would do anything in the world for my lady, and i know she misses me, but we cant be together right now because she doesnt know what she wants? Do i play the friend, or do i try and woo her? I dont want to do NC because i dont think i should give up like that. im no good at mind games, but do i play aloof and not tell her i think shes the most beautiful woman in existence? not hug her or kiss her? what does everyone think? how do i get the love back? By the way, thank you for reading this and your responses and i hope you are all having great days and nights!

Yes, i know that you are right. Its just too hard to believe right now. Its been four months and since then i have done everything i can to show her that she is the one. Everytime i see her i bring her flowers, i look after her dog, took her away for a weekend, and even bought her a star for her birthday. She said it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for her. How do i win her heart again? I know that she still loves me and misses me too, but she is looking for a replacement obviously, and I feel that if we had one more chance i could show her that she doesnt need to look anywhere else. Will she ever come back?

Hello everyone! This is my first post and it will be long since it concerns the love of my life...and i hope that i may find guidance. lets begin. E (now 27) and i (24) met about three years ago, and split abouth 4 months ago. We met and were instantly in love and nothing could come between us. we shared a love so special that now i am left reeling and clueless. I dont really know where to start but, she being older than i was always ready for "the next sep". she wanted to marry and i just wasnt ready. i was in school and (partying) a bit. Well the only thing we ever argued about was that i wanted to go out and she didnt, or i would be out with my friends too much. The reason this was, was because i was scared. scared of committing the rest of my life to her. I could go on but i hope you get the drift. Well, one night in December 04 (we broke up in May 05) we were taking a 2 week break from each other and i got drunk and slept with another girl. I was so embarrased and regretful that i didnt tell her until we broke up. She is my first girlfriend and i just couldnt bring myself to tell her- i dont know why. I guess i was hoping it would disappear! But it didnt and now i am lonely and missing my angel. we broke up on great terms, each of us in tears, because we just needed some time to work things out. We tried NC but it only lasted about two weeks. Since we broke up, she dated a guy from out of town for a month, but tells me that she was just trying to have some fun. A psychic ( i know but she is a mutual friend) told me that she was my soulmate, which i believe and know in my heart, and also told her that she would meet another male she could trust and she has met this other second guy...she thinks so at least. Theres alot more between us but heres whats going on- I have told her how much I love her and want to get back together with her, shown her that I have changed too ( i no longer want to party all the time...weird but you grow up) and changed for the better. There is nothing i would like more than to come home and see her playing guitar and relax with her and make dinner, etc. and be her husband. But she says to me that she wants her independence right now, and that she needs time to heal. She says that if it was meant to be it will. We still talk alot and share our feelings, but i feel like she is more interested in this new guy (which is probably true, since i have not had any interest in any other girl since we split) and that my love is being laughed at. I have really shown her that i am the one for her, but she says that she is still attracted to me, and wants to try again, but there is still "something" holding her back. its not really clear to my either, but i just dont know what to do. Shes with a second guy now, but i still want her so badly- I know that there is no-one better in this world for her, and i know there is no one better for me. I know I should get the picture (that what my friends tell me) but i hope against hope that she will return. I made a mistake that cost me my dream girl, but I had to to know that there was no one else for me (is that crazy logic??) Im soo lost and confused...any help? Thank you in advance.