hey..i m new here and i just wanted people to know how i use to feel.Well about 4 months ago before i started to date my boyfriend i use to pray to god to take me off this earth. i didnt want to be here any more. I dunno my life took kind of a dead end and i didnt want to be here. But now i m glad he didnt because i found someone who loves me and never wants to hurt me. The other day i was thinking about how i m not afaird to die i think its cuz i wanted to die so many times that i m not of afaird of it. And now that i dont want to die i could because i m losing weight. And i m scard and my boyfriend told me a few weeks ago i was too skinny and that i need to gain weight. Which is good because at least he tells me what i need to here and not what i want to hear.Any way today i ws listening to a song that reminds me of sucide and ya i thought about sucide but i could never actually do it since my grandmother would die from a heartattack and my mom and dad would never get over it and plus i have alot more of life to live so whats the point of dieing.