LonelyConfused

I know exactly what you're talking about because my ex is sying the same thing, we were best friends for about 4 yrs prior to the year we were dating and we wanted to go back to being friends, and he called me to hang out a couple of times but we ended up hooking up and then a couple of days of me waiting to talk to him would pass and i would b upset...i asked him to ahng out a couple of times but he already had plans wit his friends, which upset me....he didnt act like he was that upset either(bad break-ups/bad ex-girlfriends) i swear i read your post and i could have written it, i'm on a week of NC right now bc last time i saw him i got upset bc a girl called him while i was there, we only broke up about 3 weeks ago, but it wasnt over right away, it was weird, i think our friendship made it hard....anyway the point of my whole post is that you rn't alone and when your friends with someone first you want to still see them every day and you want to still talk to them every day but you'll never heal...the dumper in a way has already healed and thats y they rn't as hurt, you need time to heal before you can jump back to being friends....i know when i first found this website it made me feel better to know there were other ppl with the same situation, i hope it makes u feel better too.....feel free to pm me anytime u need someone to talk to..feel better, stay strong

How about.... Olivia - Bizounce Mariah Carey - Shake It Off Mya - Movin' On Whitney Houston - It's Not Right, but its okay thats all i can think of right now...good luck........

I know exactly what you're going through and its hard to think that he doesn't want to talk to you. At first I thought maybe we're both trying to not call each other and I gave in and called him, I really regret it because he said everything I wanted to hear and I felt great, I insisted that we not see each other yet, when we did see each other I found out that he lied to me about what he was doing that weekend. He was going to see his parents and told me he wanted me to go but his dad was too sick and he needed to spend time alone with him. I ran into some girls that we both know later on who asked me what time EVERYONE was leaving...I was so pissed, I confronted him and he wouldn't even admit that he lied, he said that he didnt want to hurt my feelings. It made it so much worse, I'm telling you it will get easier, every day with NC you're breaking the habit of talking to him and you will feel better.

Hey guys....Little update, he called me last night but I didnt pick up and he started calling like every two minutes and then waited 1/2 hour n called my house, my mom answered and told him I was home so I got stuck on the phone, and he asked if we were going to have dinner....So I told him that one of my friends called and we were going to this party instead and I would have to call him back about hangin out, and he was like oh well do u want to have lunch tomorrow or something (i get out of work early on some fridays) and I was like well I already have lunch plans so I don't know...and he was like oh alrite, n I was like well let me go I gotta get ready, I'll tlak to u soon .... and he was like oh ok fine bye.......IT WAS AWESOME!!! I FELT AMAZING AFTERWARDS!!! Its crazy how just acting strong even when you're not, can totally turn the tables....I loved it, I am soo glad that I listened to you guys, now I just have to work on keeping it up....everyone else hang in there, its worth it...

Hey guys, its a couple hours later and I'm still thinking about it constantly but I am feeling better....I'm not going to have dinner with him tonight and if anything I'm going go to his apartment this weekend n drop his stuff off and take my stuff....Thanks again everyone!

I'm sorry but I have to stop posting for right now, I'm at work and I'm just thinking about it too much and I'm getting really upset. I'll be back later..thanks again for taking the time to read my story and share yours

Thank you guys so much! I really needed something like this. Its so hard right now because anytime anything happens I want to call him and I want to know what is happening with him. His dad is really sick right now and in the hospital and his parents became like second parents to me over the last few years, this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and I saw it coming too, which really upsets me. I'm really glad I found this forum too, thank you guys soo much! You don't understand how much this helps me

Thanks again, I know you're right and I totally agree, and He is upset, it is just like he doesnt want any of his guy friends to know that he is upset and for some reason that bothers me, I guess I don't want them to see me as pathetic. I don't know what I think/feel anymore really. My life is total confusion. What's PM anyway?

Thanks for the advice, I think you're right. It just sucks because he knows that i usually don't go out during the week anyway, because I have this internship for the summer where i work over 40 hours a week. And I have told him that I agree with him and I don't want to get back together especially because in a week he will be moving back with his parents (they are having a lot of family problems right now). It is very weird, he has his own apartment and most of our friends live at home so they have all gotten used to just going there and sometimes even sleeping there because he lives on his own, so there are hardly any times when he is by himself just to talk to me except at his parent's house where he calls me n talks and listens and everything. And when we do talk he says he just stressed out and needs to straighten his life out but he wants to be with me after he has a chance to fix everything. BUT then he comes back and he is always with his friends and you know how guys can be with their friends. He cares a lot about what others think and doesn't want us to fight in front of our friends and lately we always end up fighting. I just want our friendship back and it sucks because I feel like he isn't upset about this break up at all. He is leaving to go to his parents this weekend and then coming back for two days and then moving there indefinitly. It is only 2 hours by car, but I'm going to have to see him to get some stuff back and give him some stuff which makes me think I should go over there tonight, give him his stuff, say my goodbyes and start NC. What do you think? He has my laptop and a jacket and I have his PSP and expensive watch. I'm not sure what to do...My friends are his friends and don't want to get involved, I've already pleaded. I should have wrote this in my first post, sorry. And I'm sorry for these posts being so long, I'm really heartbroken and just need to get it all out, I'm very confused and things aren't gettin easier.....

I've never really done anything like this before and I hope it helps. My ex and I broke up because we were fighting too much lately. We were best friends for about 5 years and dating for a year. We have both had a lot of things happen to us in the past 6 months, family sickness, death, loss of job, and debt. It hasn't been easy, but we both managed to get through it. We have broken up twice before, but they were breaks, we took a day off from each other and then hung out again. Two weeks ago we broke up and he broke up with me, saying that he just needed his space(he did this over the phone). We didnt talk for 2 days and when he did call me everything was fine and we let two more days go by before we hung out, we hung out two days in a row and not again for four, and then two days in a row again. Now I haven't seen him in four days because he went to visit his parents(they live in another state). This is very weird since for the past 6 years we have seen each other every day, we have taken our vacations together and everything. We were supposed to hang out but he called me at the last minute to say that he was given free tickets to a baseball game and he was going with a friend of his(i love baseball and we used to go to games together all the time). So I was disappointed, but I told him to call me when it was over. The game ended around 9:30, and I still hadn't heard from him at midnight. I called him and he couldn't even spend 5 minutes on the phone with me, he started yelling at me that I do this all the time and I must sit at home and wait to call him and ruin his whole night. I told him that I just want the respect that he used to give me even as friends. He has been late calling me back before, or just hasn't using the excuse he was too tired (but he doesnt work, just hangs out with his friends). So basically last night I told him that if he didn't call me back, that I never wanted to speak to him again. So 3 hours later he called me back to say that his friends were still over and he would call me in a little while and I said fine, n then he called me two hours later(much drunker than he was earlier and both of us were exhausted) and he wanted to know why I am so upset and why we can't just take some time away. I told him I didn't want to talk then and to call me in the morning. He said that he wants to make me dinner tonight and I said I have to think about it. He was my best friend and normally the person I would go to when I was upset and I want to be able to tell him everything I'm feeling, but I don't want him to think I'm pathetic. And honestly sometimes I do feel kind of pathetic. Is it possible to tell your ex how upset you are without sounding pathetic???

When I asked my ex why he was acting so mean and how he could treat me the way he was...(we were best friends for 5 yrs n dated for a yr) n he said they say that u always hurt the ppl u love.... R U SERIOUS???????? now granted he is bipolar and he was off his meds at the time, but still...cmonnnnnn