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Hi there, Well, it seems like you've got your hands on Ms. Right and for some reason she doesn't realize what a catch she has. Before digging into you too deeply, I appreciate your seeking of help. Most guys let their egos get in their ways and neglect sound reasoning. No doubt you have gone through the trouble of finding this chick, going out on a date with her, bought chocolates, flowers etc. and you're wondering "why would she treat me this way if I feel so strongly about her and did the things you do when you like someone?" The short answer is that you are neglecting a critical emotional need she has as a woman and what is preventing you from seeing this is your own feelings for her. What women really, really, really want is a M...A....N, not a boy. But cheer up, you are on the road to manhood and after this post, you will not be confused when it comes to the fairer sex. Us guys have two fatal flaws1) the inability to ask for directions when we are lost and 2) we ignore reality when it comes to relationships. No doubt what you do 24/7 is fantasize about how you feel about her when you have no basis to do so in reality. Let's say for a moment that you are Brad Pitt. Can you see this chick treating you the way she has now? I don't because women ONLY fall in love with men they have a deep respect for. Likely she would be all over you and she would be your love slave. Rather than focusing on how strong your feelings are for her, you should focus on how SHE feels about you. For example, currently when she says that she is just friends with this guy, your heart-pounding self is saying "Wew! they're just friends" but her actions are SCREAMING "I am interested in someone who isn't you." and those are the things you should be focusing on to determine her TRUE feelings for you. From what you wrote I would say shes fu**ing the guy already. thereforeeeeeee, in your future successful relationships you will find that she will be all over you if you interpret her ACTIONS toward you and not what she says. You've heard that women are inconsistent? BULL SH*T!. This little concept explains why women say one thing but do another. Did you ever hear of the game chicken? It's one where two guys are at the helm of their vehicles and are on a collision course with eachother and the winner is the one who does not swerve first. Love is really a game of chicken, whether you like it or not. In this game, as a man, YOU lose with the chick if in some way you swerve out of the way. You swerve out of the way big time when you pour out your feelings uncontrollably, let her get away with disrespecting you (if she respected you she would tell you where she is going so that you don't have to worry), tell her all of your hang-ups, give her your life-story on the first date and so on. I GUARANTEE you that you have done one or more of these things at least once. See, women aren't inconsistent. If they like you, they let you know by their ACTIONS not their words and if they don't like you they let you know by their ACTIONS; it's just that you have to interpret her actions accurately. You'll agree with me that, as a man, no matter how strong your feelings are for her, only her feelings really matter in the relationship. In other words, unless she has the hots for you, Houston, it is a no-go for launch. Here's another thing, you CAN'T change her feelings for you unless you start displaying the male qualities that women respond to emotionally. 1) You MUST display self-Control 2) Self-Confidence 3) Self-Assurance. The problem with most "nice" guys ( which by the way should be considered leperous) is that they are TOO eager to please the chick even when there is no basis for it. They buy flowers, bouquets 10 times a day. In their heads they think "By doing this, she will definitely love me." but to the woman, the nice guy always appears weak and clingy (which if you're honest with yourself dude you will admit, but don't worry, those days are over for you). Self-Control means you are able to control your actions despite what your emotions urge you to do. Honestly, how long can you go without saying "I love you" to your woman? Did she ever say "I love you" to you? What you always want is for your woman to say "I love you" more to you than you do to her. How hard is it for you to not drool when your woman is wearing a tight outfit? It's EXTREMELY important for respect for you to keep your emotions to yourself by not spilling out your hang-ups and secrets which I'm guessing you do on a regular basis with this chick. For self-confidence join a comedy club or Toastmasters because brother, without it you don't even deserve a chick. A woman is fragile emotionally and their carnal craving is for a guy who is free-spirited and displays male-strength qualities. You are definitely doing something wrong with this chick. She shouldn't know that she can disrespect you and that it's ok. By being a "nice" guy you condone her actions by doing nothing about it. If you have the guts to do it, tell her that she can pack her bags and leave and go to her new boyfriends place because although now you think she is yours, she really belongs to the guy she is banging now. You deserve better than that and if you don't start exhibiting male-strength qualities, you will never get what you want from women. In love, you NEVER get what you deserve but what you NEGOTIATE. email me if this makes sense email removed

Hi Sonja, As the brother of a younger sister, I have seen my sister go through a depression over a guy who she was seeing. I just want you to know that you are not alone girl. Your guy must be something special for you to feel this way over him. Perhaps he will notice how you feel about him and will show some compassion. It really is tough when someone plays with your heart the way this one is doing. What I tell my sister is that at this point in time things are really tough and if she focused on helping others instead of thinking about her lost man, she will find her TRUE love. Best Wishes

Hey, I have been there before and it sucks. I had a long distance relationship and I was crazy about her. I couldn't get it out of my head! I imagined her with someother guy and she would sometimes flirt with my friends when she visited. What fixed the situation was when I told her that if she didn't stop being flirty then I would leave. That fixed things pretty good.