pickdaisies

the problem is i have no family here at all. i moved here for him. him and his family talked me into it. when the relationship ended, it was suddenly like we were outcast and suddenly felt very alone. they include us from time to time but i do not want pity. his mom says, if you want to go out i will watch the kids..i am only here right now because of legal issues with the child. we go to court in march. i want to move in july. he has been stalling me in the courts. his family gets cold and upset whenever i speak of moving home to my family. sometimes i feel this is a game to keep me hooked on him so i don t go anywhere

thanks for the reply. i still love him, but i do know that this can not go on forever. this is baffling for me. i was married once, it ended. it was cut and dry. the ex husband did not play games with me. now, here i am with a man i do care about and love and he won't let go. whenever, i try to discuss what it is that he wants from us and why he is doing this, he avoids the discussion. quite frankly, i feel used. what would you do if you were me? i have to see this man for the next 16 years.

to anybody who can hear me. my ex broke up with me 7 months ago. he said the relationship was dead. we have a daughter. she is 2. i am slowly moving on. 2 months ago, he starts helping me with my kids again. he states he wants to be friends and see where it goes. i asked him why we never did anything alone without the kids? he says he didn't want to give me the wrong idea. he says he loves me and cares about me. but doesn't have romantic feelings anymore. he is struggling with this, because his feelings change so much because he doesn't know what he wants. we were together for almost 3 years. we do things together with the kids, but this is hard on me cuz i still love him and he will not touch me in any way. this man hasn't even tried to have sex with me at all since the breakup. i swear to god if i act disinterested or do not call, he is calling and wanting to know if i still love him by hinting around to see what is going on. the problem is i want no contact, but it is hard because i live in the state with no family and he and his family help me alot, but he is driving me nuts. the other day his family invited me to a lunch at their house and he tries to feed me a cracker. i am like what is this???? what is this 42 yearold mand trying to do and prove here? he can't seem to let go of us. he wants us and he doesn't... what is a girl suppose to do????? i told him that i love him too much to be his friend....it is like it goes in one ear and out the other/// advice please.... thanks

i have a great relationship with his parents. his mom helps me with my kids and she told me that we are all hurting because of this. she spends a great deal of time with my daughter. we did not live together. he has his own place. althought, he spent a great deal of time with me. as far as the marriage thing, we both felt it wasn't time. he has been married twice and is very skeptical of it. i have been married once. four years ago. i do not understand. our daughter was planned. when we first met, we talked about a life together but something changed over the years. his second marriage left him financially very hurt. he has had no children with either marriage. sometimes i think he doesn't know what he wants. he likes his space but he also likes family. i am going to be honest here. i did not always treat him the best. alot of it stemmed from not knowing where the relationship was going and he wasn't an excellent communicator. i think he fears me moving home. i am from georgia. i live in kansas and moved here for him. i am okay here. one month ago, he told me to leave when he was being nasty. last week, he comes over to see her and steps into my place without asking and asks me where all my stuff is? i told him i have been putting things away that i do not need. i am moving when my lease expires. he told me to leave. i can't be here with him being mean to me. if he is capable of being civil, i would stay here. he is a good dad and she loves him very much. she is only 2. he was about to cry when i told him this, but he has a lot of issues to work on. i admit my faults and take full responsiblity for what i did that was wrong. i am not perfect. i come from a family whose parents have been married 30 years. and believe on working on things. he came from a broken home. and i see a pattern in his relationships and his mom even said he needs counseling. this man is 41. but i also decided that i can't have people coming in and out of my life. i have a seven year old boy and i don't want him to think that this is how problems are dealt with by walking away. we actually got a long great. i spoke to him every day of my life i was with him. but he pulled away. he still can't go without talking to me. he is calling me. ...i think married woman is right. he got bored and started seeing someone. for what reasons i do not know. it ended. he knows now what he lost. i have been here for him no matter what. it's my nature. i am not a fair weather friend. he was my best friend. he just wasn't my boyfriend. i am hurt deeply.

i have a great relationship with his parents. his mom helps me with my kids and she told me that we are all hurting because of this. she spends a great deal of time with my daughter. we did not live together. he has his own place. althought, he spent a great deal of time with me. as far as the marriage thing, we both felt it wasn't time. he has been married twice and is very skeptical of it. i have been married once. four years ago. i do not understand. our daughter was planned. when we first met, we talked about a life together but something changed over the years. his second marriage left him financially very hurt. he has had no children with either marriage. sometimes i think he doesn't know what he wants. he likes his space but he also likes family. i am going to be honest here. i did not always treat him the best. alot of it stemmed from not knowing where the relationship was going and he wasn't an excellent communicator. i think he fears me moving home. i am from georgia. i live in kansas and moved here for him. i am okay here. one month ago, he told me to leave when he was being nasty. last week, he comes over to see her and steps into my place without asking and asks me where all my stuff is? i told him i have been putting things away that i do not need. i am moving when my lease expires. he told me to leave. i can't be here with him being mean to me. if he is capable of being civil, i would stay here. he is a good dad and she loves him very much. she is only 2. he was about to cry when i told him this, but he has a lot of issues to work on. i admit my faults and take full responsiblity for what i did that was wrong. i am not perfect. i come from a family whose parents have been married 30 years. and believe on working on things. he came from a broken home. and i see a pattern in his relationships and his mom even said he needs counseling. this man is 41. but i also decided that i can't have people coming in and out of my life. i have a seven year old boy and i don't want him to think that this is how problems are dealt with by walking away. we actually got a long great. i spoke to him every day of my life i was with him. but he pulled away. he still can't go without talking to me. he is calling me. ...i think married woman is right. he got bored and started seeing someone. for what reasons i do not know. it ended. he knows now what he lost. i have been here for him no matter what. it's my nature. i am not a fair weather friend. he was my best friend. he just wasn't my boyfriend. i am hurt deeply.

you are probably right. he is a good dad. and he pays me child support on his own. he has an interest in her. as the old saying goes, "sometimes you don't know what you had until it is gone" and i feel like he is afraid i am doing other stuff and seeing other people -----not that sure thing--- and it is freaking him out. because he does not have anybody now.

he is a good father. i just do not understand why he constantly wants to know what i am doing and where i am at all the time? he tells me about his life now and did not do that before. he tells me where he is going and what he is doing. i do not understand the change. why now? i do not care. i tell him i do not have to tell him about my life anymore. yet, he still wants to know about me. if he is not interested in me, does his interest lie in my little girl and taking her from me?

one month ago , my boyfriend broke up with me. i was devastated. we have a daughter together. he treated me bad. he was dating somebody and it has apparently ended and he is spending a lot of time with his family. i never call him. i try to avoid him if at alll possible. well, our daughter got sick. i had to call him. he blew me off. well, she got pretty sick. he then starts calling me this past week. he wants to know what i am doing and where i am at all the time. he starts telling me what he is doing and where he is at. i don't even ask. before i got my head chopped off if ik dared. we were together 3 years. well, last week. he called me and wanted to know if i wanted to drop her off at his house friday. he yelled at me if i was at his house before. i said no. iwould take her to his mom's sat am . i have to be at work at 6;45. well, then he calls back and says can he come get her at my house before, i go to work. i said no. because he has a meeting at 10 and he will drop her off there anyway. he is confusing me. why the interest in my life now? is he trying to make excuses to see us? i am not sure how to handle this, he treated me pretty bad and now he is being nice to me. what is with the change?

i am doing ok. i went over to his mother's house today. we are very close. told her that we are separated and she offered to help me with my children so that i would not have to see him. i spoke with him today and said i need a couple of weeks alone. i don't want to deprive him of seeing julia, our little girl who loves her daddy very much but i need the time or we will all fall apart. i did not give his mom many details just said i was going to need help. i am a nurse and i need to be strong for the people i take care of and can't be if he is still coming around right now. i go back to work on monday. i am using this site as an outlet right now. i don't talk about my life at work, but i need somebody to talk too. i spoke with my mom today who lives far away she said i sounded sad. i did not have the heart to tell her because she will worry about me and my children. i do not have family here so it is difficult for me to seek comfort and solace from others. i am not desperate. just hurt and afraid. if he ever changed his mind, i do not know if i could be the same. all of this hurt is changing me. i love him very much.

my boyfriend of 3 years just broke up with me. we have a daughter. although we have not had the best relationship all the time. we do get along and there were times i was mean to him only because he never told me he needed me or where i was in his life. so i would act out just like a child. trying to get some kind of response. well, just two weeks ago things seemed like normal. my parents came to see me and he told me was going to go out with friends. i said ok. well, my family and i saw him leaving his house and he was dressed up. i felt it was odd since he was going out with the guys. i asked him the next day that i thought i saw him and asked him what he wore. he lied to me and when i confronted him he said what does it matter what i wore? he suddenly has cut me off from touching him completely. he says we have nothing in common. he wants to be friends. we have a daughter and i rely on him to help me alot he said he will still help. we won't tell his family about the breakup. we will act the same, call each other every day, go out but without the relationship part. when i said i could not do this his face went white. the night he broke up with me he gives me tickets toa concert that i wanted to go to badly and tells me to take a date. he says he is not interested in dating anyone. and that he cannot live with me. we get along pretty good except for the times i get upset about him not telling me about where i stand in his life. i moved to kansas city for him, gave up alot and none of his actions ever indicated that i would be a part of that life. now that he has bought a new home and has moved in out of his parents basement he has been acting differently. i do not understand how someone can go from kissing you and saying they love you to don't touch me at all. we are friends. i have been crying because our daughter is sensing something is wrong and is acting out. it will be hard to completely have him out of my life because he stays with me 2-3 nights a week to take our children to school. he says he will sleep on the couch. in the past, he would never sleep on the couch. upon leading up to this new behavior, we fought about how little sex we were having. it hurt me because this is how i shared being close to him. it's gone from being loving and nice to me to sudden rages and blow ups about any small thing. this is the worst way i have ever felt. do you feel that a lot of this behavior stems from the fact that he may be dating other people , still wants me around in case it doesn't work out. this behavior of his is like a 360 turn from the affectionate guy he was just 2 weeks ago. he says he is miserable. and i said do you think being my friend won't be miserable, too. i am horrified about this evening. please please somebody talk to me.

my boyfriend told me he is not happy anymore. this is after i confront him about seeing him unnoticed dressed up to go out with guys. i told him and lied about he wore to me. Stated what does it matter if i wore a dressed shirt? we have been together 3 years. and have a daughter. i don't want to believe this is a sign of cheating. please give me some advice on the situation. he told me to date other people. the next day he calls asking me to go to lunch and to a concert on saturaday. i haven't seen him in three days. i went to his house to surprise him and he blew up at me for coming over. i get yelled at for everything.