rodrigo

Yes, I too think those are pretty solid. You're on your way, I think. Now we just hope and pray, and please give us news when they come up, ok?

Well, the world would surely be a better place if both sexes stopped playing games BEFORE getting together. If not playing games, then the guy is probably very shy, and trust MetallicAguy on what he says about it. You're shy here, he's shy there, not much of a plan, is it? Then go for it. You don't need to throw yourself over him. Sometimes, showing him the palm of your hand at a distance (like saying "hi", but please don't wave! You'd look like a child). Or maybe you can do something by getting serious (well, inside you're shaking, ok) and standing in front of the guy "by chance" and saying "Hey, I've seen you around for a while. Do you work here too?", in an interesting manner, and starting a very simple conversation, as if he was anybody else (another girl, for instance). I don't really know, I've never wanted to flirt with a guy

Man... Let me try to be objective here. First, I'll tell you I've been through something similar: almost 4ys of relationship and then broke up. It was quite different in my case, cause she didn't have all that consideration with me (which I surely deserved, just like you do). In all those parts you say you messed up, I'm sorry I have to agree with that. It's typical guy behaviour. But don't worry, it doesn't mean "messed for life", just for the moment, the state things are now. Maybe you've confused her a bit. I think nothing here is up to you. She has to make up her mind by her own means, as you put it. It's absurdly frustrating for you and it causes sickening anxiety, I can even feel it for you, but maybe that's the way it is... What else can you do? Just relax and wait, as all you could have done was done on its due time. If she kissed another guy soon after the break-up, this doesn't mean much. What means much, tho, is the fact she only kissed YOU before. You can most probably tell she was curious about it, no? It doesn't necessarily mean she loves or even likes him, if we're correct here and it was just out of curiosity. Please, consider that too. And that she may be thinking "is there more beyond him?". Tell me honestly: is there? Maybe yes, and she deserves it (just like you do), maybe no, and she'll find her love for you again or mess things up herself and make it impossible with you and find somebody else who tries. Let me tell you the keywords to the whole thing. If the worst comes out, you will hear an awful lot of people tell you stuff like "it will go away", "you'll get over it", "time changes everything". All this will cause you no relief, and anything anyone can tell you won't take you away of what you've experienced yourself: almost (or actual) physical pain. BUT, above all, they are right. Time WILL change it, eventually, and it doesn't take long to work its effects. All I or anybody can do is tell you this, and you don't have to believe it: just take it and go on to explore life. I even feel a little uneven here, cause I remember how it was to listen to this and not to give a flip about it. But that's all there's to say, and it is true. About being best friends: I myself wouldn't do it, for the exact same reasons you put. It's way too hard. But what you two had once is not necessarily gone. Maybe it's the case of letting her walk for some time, maybe a year or two (or less, or more) and maybe you, with another girl in your heart, may come to be great friends with her again, and just that. You don't necessarily have reasons to hate or despise her, since she's only being honest to you and to her. Let me tell you about the last part: it is possible she doesn't need to realise how great it was what you two had. If you know that, maybe she does too. That's not the point here. The point is IT IS possible for you both to have it again with other partners, I can tell you that. When you're young and had this great big love, all this sound like BS and your love was the greatest of all, but you have a whole life ahead, and you don't know the secrets for that. One of them I know: IT IS not only possible, but also very achievable. I'm living a much better relationship now than with this one I told you about. And both of you won't forget what you had so far, you staying together for a few more years from now or breaking up now. It'll be called experience and it will help you a lot later. I'm quite young too (a little older than you) and I'm not talking as Mr Experienced here, on the top of all hills. This just comes from what I've learned so far.

Nah, forget my opinion here (down there)... I had another page to read and wasn't up to that last part. It got a little messed up, yes, but it seems things are working nice for you. My reaction to that (fr a straight p.o.v) would be... weirdness, I think. I'm handing my girl to another girl. Better than to another guy, I think, but it's just stupid manhood talking here. Just please don't feel guilty for that if she loves you back. It just means it wasn't supposed to go right with him, but with you. Do you know her real feelings for you, already? Any solid clues? --- Hey, hi, I'm new to this. Please, take this from a straight guy from "an exotic country" (I thought maybe this was necessary, maybe not, I don't know). I think you could open up to her very casually, you know, honestly without being dramatic about it. When the moment is appropriate (very hard to tell), you can go with "Hey, do you know I like girls?" just like someone who says "Hey, do you know that bakery in Queens?" Let's hear what she has to say about it (if she does), since you didn't confess you love her or anything like that. Consider some scenarios: 1- it's ok with her, not good not bad. Maybe you still have a problem to solve (telling her about your feelings), but at least one step is gone. 2- she doesn't like it at all (doesn't seem to be the case). Well, same ol' movin on with your life. What else to do? If this is the case, then probably everything that came before was fake and you don't need that, do you? 3- she likes you being honest with her and gives room for more talking into that. Maybe with this you can create a good moment to tell her it all, no? 4- she loves the fact, and then tells you she wasn't sure before, but now she knows and she loves you back. What's wrong with that, huh? Sorry if I'm being nosy and/or silly and/or a lot of other stuff...

Man, I agree to everybody so far, but I'd like to add a simple thing. Keep in mind the two essential rules: 1- Be a nice person from outside in. 2- Be honest from inside out. Conclusion: you'll always show yourself nicely to others. There's no mistake: do that and you can get most things honest. About your particular issue, if you apply what I said and everybody said before me, you'll be nice to her, you'll show yourself nice to her and all a good person can do with this is open oneself. If don't, then it's not really a good person (or maybe it's a very hurt one from cases past, we can't tell for sure). And if not a good person, then you probably don't need her and will find someone else who is. Everybody likes kindness and politeness, it works great in most cases.