Dragon-heart

That's exactly what I intend to do.. 8)

Thanks guys for all the advice, and special thanks to DG724 I think you've been the most help.

Hi all, after a turbulent Christmas and New Year, I have come to the realisation that I may not be the same person I used to be, I guess I have given up on the idea of love, I have realised that maybe I am not the kind of person that is meant to be loved. I've realised that after everything that has happenend in my life, I seem to have no emotions these days, I've become heartless and nothing can reverse that. I feel as if I have no purpose in this life. It's like I'm in a void. I've decided to go through a divorce and be on my own for a while. I did meet someone new, but it seems that I'm not happy even there. So maybe the single life is what I need. Am I making the right decision? Like I said before I find it very difficult to love anybody, and I don't think I even like myself anymore or what I've become. Anyways just wanted to find out if I can reverse this, I want my old self back and I don't know how to get there..

Thanks for all the help, I really appreciate it. It seems like i'm hitting a brick wall with my wife. I did meet with my friend yesterday and we spoke for almost an hour. She told me the same thing, that I should not rush into things, so we're still friends. I find it so easy to talk to her and we click on many issues. I can't seem to get the same response from my wife. The reason I cheated was because I was tired of the verbal abuse and tired of being with someone that always hurt me. It was a point in my life where I needed to feel loved and I was not getting that at home. I guess some may think that I was selfish, but it happened. I never regretted cheating on my wife, it was the only time that I was truly happy. Some may judge me, but if you haven't been in a situation like mine, then it's easy to judge. I am tired of the way my life is goin so I think it's time to change things. I hate doing this, but my kids will always have me as their father, I'm sure that in time they will understand.. I've decided to go through with the divorce, and then see if I am ready for another relationship. Hopefully by then I will allow myself to fall in love again.

Thanks for the advice, I've decided to make my life more exciting, I'm gonna meet with my new friend today and see how that goes, I think it's time for a change in my life. Hopefully a permanent change.

If you really love this girl and want to be with her, then her past should remain just that, "her past" Don't ask too many questions and don't judge her for things she may or may not have done, all that matters is what she has done while she is with you, you're in love with her and not her past.. So enjoy each other and accept her for who she is now and not who she has been.. I say what you don't know, won't hurt you.. 8)

It seems like nobody truly understands what I'm going through, It's easy for people to say give it another chance.. but how many chances can one give. I've learned one thing in all these years "Love" is just a word.. and it's a one way thing.. I guess it's up to me to decide whether I want this marriage or not. I'd rather have my kids living in a peaceful home than have them face their parents fighting all the time..

Thanks for the advice, I have tried talking to her on numerous occations, even spoke to a few counsellers, but she just get more and more angry with me, It seems like she does not want to face the truth, and she always wants to blame me for everything that goes wrong in our lives. Even if it has nothing to do with me. It's like I'm always the one that's wrong. We have totally nothing in common. She does not even allow me to go out with friends. She is obsessive and jealous about everyone and anyone. For example if I want to go out with the guys she says that I don't have time for her and the kids, and if I tell her to come with us, then she says that she can't because of the kids. She treats me like I'm a child and I'm tired of it.. I know that divorce is wrong, but then what are my other options? It seems like my life is being wasted and I'm not comfortable with it..

I've been married for seven years and have three sons ranging in age from 6years to 2 months old. My problem is that I am not in love with my wife. I married my wife because I thought it was the right thing to do at the time, we where living together and according to religious reasons it was not considered appropriate behaviour for a single guy to live with a single girl, so my pastor suggested that I get married. It has been seven years of hell, most of the time I keep thinking that she's a good person and one day things might work out, but the rest of the time we fight . I met someone a while ago and fell in love with her, we had a relationship and I thought she was the one, but then recently we broke up and she moved on, she has married and seems happy. I was hurt cause she was the only joy in my life, but have accepted things. Last night my wife and I have a huge fight over a very petty issue, I think she knows that I'm not in love with her. What do I do, I'm tired of being called names and being labeled all the time, she tells me that she hates me. And to be honest I don't really care anymore. Ive been through enough pain in my life to even feel hurt. My wife has treatened me and does not want to see reason, she knows that I'm not in love with her. I have also been talking to someone new, so far we're just friends, she seems like a really nice person, she knows everything about me, maybe someone I could actually fall in love with. But I'm too affraid of getting hurt again or hurting anybody else.. I'm totally lost, how do I reason with my wife, she does not even want to talk, everything I say gets used against me. I'm beginning to hate her more and more each day. Sometimes I just sit there and listen to her rambling on and on.. and I just ask myself if this is all worth it.. or if this is how my life is going to be.. I'm seriously considering a divorce, I think there is only so much one can take and I'm tired of seven years of hurt. Any advice would be greatly appreciated..

Well, I'm no expert, but from what I've read it seems like your wife seems to be really confused. It's obvious that her feelings for you are not the same as yours for her. She has broken your trust , the only advice I can give you is that you go back to her and talk things over, tell her how she hurt you, tell her about all the pain she caused you and your kids over a guy that you hired. Also tell her that if she's coming back to you because she's on a rebound then it's not gonna work. She has to come back to you whole-heartedly, with no hidden agendas.. You then have to decide if you can forgive her or if you trust her enough to give her another chance. Only you can answer that question. You also mentioned that she has had other husbands, it's a difficult decision to make, but you need to make that decision. If a relationship is not based on love and trust, then there is no relationship. I wish you the best in whatever you decide.. Alsways look at life in the broder sense and never live life with any regrets... 8)