maritalbliss86

Did Biden seriously just say this last night?!?

"Putin will never gain the hearts and minds of the Iranian people!" [emphasis mine]

😂 OMG 

how does one confuse Ukrainians with Iranians 😂🤣

This is another thing that will sound nuts... oh well, thank God it's just a journal.

Back in 2019 there was a prophecy from a person with a prophetic gift that 2022 would be the start of a period of time called a Winter of War... and they guessed it would last about 10 years, so until 2032 😞.  

As with anything like that, of course most people disregard it outright and don't pay any attention to those kinds of predictions.  And even biblically Scripture states that no one knows if a prophecy is actually real and will come true, until they've seen it come to pass.

I remember feeling strongly though that this one was probably right, much to the detriment of the world.  And this was in the fall of 2019, so months before the whole covid thing happened.

Afghanistan, Ukraine, next Taiwan and then a major fall of the European and US financial system probably.  We'll see.  A lot of it has to do with Biden's weakness of course, but I do think there are bigger things in the background as well.

Has it gotten any better? 

Have y'all figured out how to make each other feel loved?

Hoping for the best OP... Hope it's been working out!

Just curious if there was ever an update on your situation?

On 2/21/2022 at 2:55 PM, Alex39 said:

I liked the guy. I liked him on the date and everything. I guess I'm a little peeved, why go out with me if you didn't intend to follow through? Why go out with anyone? 

 

I hate my time wasted and my emotions played with. I genuinely don't think that was his intention, but that is what's happening. I deserve more than that. 

Yes you do.

I see some people saying to just disregard him completely, ignore or even block him, *but* you can work with this - he does show interest, and you can increase it gently to see how much it *can* be increased.

A great way to see how much he really is interested is to get busy and happy with your own life (slightly put him on the back burner since you *are* busy you know doing other, happy things ❤️) and that may increase his desire and motivation to get you on another date. It may cause him to drop off completely,but that's also a won for you because you'll know he really wasn't interested at all.

It's a turn off to a lot of men when they realize they can keep you texting daily, on a back burner so to speak, so the best thing is not allow it. Get honestly busy with your own (good!) life and it may force him to see your value as much higher because you won't be strung along.

Turning the tables on him show him your value and worth (that he's risking losing you with that behavior). He sounds interested enough that he'd get frustrated and try harder (I believe) I think it's worth seeing if he will, if you're up for it.

You don't have to block him or ignore him or be rude, but just make sure you're busier... Don't respond to his texts as much (if at all)... You can glance at them, but take the emotion out of it, and keep busy with stuff you like to do.

Then respond if or when you feel like it, or genuinely have some time.

If he notices a change and he asks why you aren't responding be honest and tell him you've gotten pretty busy and are starting to date again more since he was honest he wasn't looking for anything yet. And be sweet and polite and thank him for his honestly... Let him know you really appreciate he was upfront about that. It is a good thing, even if it's painful. 

But be light, happy and just act like you've got other men pursuing you (try to make that happen too so that it's a reality). 

I know it feels bad that you realize he had you undervalued, but it can mean different things sometimes. It doesn't do any good to get angry about it or hurt and block him, to me he does sound like there's some interest there and you can test the waters to see how much.

Good luck and I'm excited for your dating journey ❤️❤️❤️

So glad things are still going so great!  I know it's just from a random stranger, but I'm happy to read the good report.

On 2/23/2022 at 7:51 PM, Cynder said:

Looking back, this is really messed up.  That wasn't my motive in any of these situations.  And even if it was, ok... Is feeling important and feeling like I matter really a bad thing?

Yes... those were really messed up situations where she wanted to squash your self-esteem/motivation etc.  

On 2/16/2022 at 3:45 PM, Cynder said:

Somebody on Reddit just told me my writing style reminds them of Hemingway.  This isn't the first time someone has made that comparison, either.  So I really think I need to go read something he wrote.  I know an English professor I had in college said once that Hemingway's work focuses a lot on masculinity, etc.  And a lot of people who read my work without knowing me assume I'm male.  I get a lot of, "I can tell a man wrote this because XYZ.  This doesn't bother me in the slightest.  I actually find it really flattering because society seems to have this idea that women are less capable as writers or that they can only write fluffy romance crap. 

I know a professional Author.  He does a lot of festivals.  I asked him once if he would take a look at my work. Him and I are friends on Facebook.  We've gotten to know each other over the years.  He has talked to me about doing cover art/graphic design for him, etc.  So it's not like I just approached some random stranger, etc.   And he was like, "I don't read romance stuff."  Um... and I strike you as someone who writes that?  Why because I'm a girl?  Lol.  Most of my stuff is about crime, mental illness, and straight up human cruelty. 

When I was a kid my Mom was for some reason convinced that I was always plagiarizing my work or tracing my artwork.  It's like, "No, we can't just acknowledge that you're good at anything, heaven for-f*cking-bid." 

When I was around 15ish I wrote a poem in my journal and in it I used the phrase "I have become comfortably numb."  Ok, obviously I didn't write that myself.  It's a line from a very famous song.  But I also didn't claim I came up with it.  And in the poem I even put it in quotes.  Idk how to explain the context in the poem that I used it.  That song was playing when I was writing it, and it just seemed like a good fit.  And this was just a poem in a teenage girl's notebook.  I wasn't trying to make any money off it, or anything like that.  Harmless.  Well my parents saw it and my Mom was pissed.  That was the basis of her thinking I'm always "copying" other people.  And as if I didn't learn my lesson the first time, when I was 17 I did it again with the line, "I'm a freak of nature but they love me so." which is from a Red Hot Chili Peppers song.  Well I got in trouble for that too.  Ok... I should have learned.  But also, they could have given me some flippin privacy and stayed the hell out of my stuff.  I have just now gotten to the point where I feel safe keeping any kind of handwritten journal.  And even now, the things I write in it aren't that person.  Because every handwritten journal I've ever kept has been read.  Either by parents or by friends or by roommates, etc.  And every time it's always been, "Well you should have hid it better."  or something like that as an excuse when I've confronted whoever read it. 

Idk... Mom also seemed to think whenever I took any kind of medicine for anything I was just taking it to get high.  I have no clue where this one came from.  I remember when I was a sophomore in high school there was a whole week where I just had a headache that wouldn't go away.  And she saw me take Asvil twice in 7 days and decided I must be taking it to get high.  Who the hell gets high off Ibuprofen?  Seriously?  That's what Advil is.  And so they started locking up the Advil so if I had a headache, well screw it.  I just had to suck it up. 

And there was this whole weird thing about Alleve, too.  I don't know why, the Advil was locked up, but the Alleve bottle was kept right on this round thing we kept on the kitchen table that had salt and sugar and stuff on it.  It's weird that this bottle of pills was kept with seasonings, idk.  I never took any of the Alleve, ever.  But boy oh boy... Whenever they got low, I was in trouble because I was "popping them like candy." according to my Mom.  When I had oral surgery my senior year in high school I got Vicodin.  It was only like 5 pills.  I took one the night I came home and slept for like 12 hours.  And then they all came up missing.  I didn't dare say anything though because I know I would have been accused of just taking them all at once.  Later on down the line my Mom told me when she was drunk that she took them and gave them to a lady she works with who likes them.  Lol... you can't make this crap up.  SHe said she did it because she was afraid my step dad would get into them.  Ok... so all this time all this crap about me taking pills and stuff was really just a fear of my drug addict step dad taking pills.  Yep... classic projection. And my sister also used to steal my Grandpa's Vicodins whenever she was at his house.   She would just take one or two so he wouldn't notice.  Jeez I'm imagining the wrath and the furry that would have rained down on me if someone who have noticed any of them missing. 

I got in trouble once for taking alka seltzer when I had an upset stomach.  I didn't ask their permission to take it.  There were two boxes of it.  One was cold medicine.  One was upset stomach medicine.  Her and my step dad were throwing a fit because they were convinced I didn't look to make sure I took the right one and took the cold medicine instead of the stomach medicine.  Ok... well even if I did, what the hell does it matter?  The worst that happens is my stomach doesn't feel better.  It was the stomach one I took though, I read the box. 

And these are the same people who gave me NyQuil once before sending me off to school, knowing full well it was NyQuil.  I was really sick and they wouldn't let me stay home.  My Mom comes up to me with this cup of liquid and says, "Here take this cold medicine."  So I did.  And then 20 minutes later I'm practically passing out waiting for the school bus.  I asked my Mom what that was that she gave me and she told me it was NyQuil.  And I was like, "How am I gonna stay awake in class?"  Her answer was "Shut your mouth."  I ended up going to school and having to go in the nurse's office and sleep all day because I couldn't stay awake. 

Ranch dressing... another one.  My Mom made baked potatoes all the time.  At least twice a week.  I love putting ranch dressing on baked potatoes.  Every time the bottle got low, I was in trouble because I must have ate it all.  I'm the only one who puts it on baked potatoes.  So it's my fault the bottle is low.  Nevermind the fact that it's a pretty widely used condiment and everyone else uses it too on various food. 

Maybe I'm just loopy because I woke up after three hours and can't go back to sleep.  But I'm writing this and just laughing to myself at how ridiculous all this stuff is.  My Mom loved to brag about what a bad kid I was.  And yes, that's basically what she was doing.  But it was more a brag about herself.  Like, "Look what an awesome mother I am.  I have this unruly teenage daughter but I'm keeping the situation under control by locking up the Advil, and giving her prescription painkillers away." 

I was in our church's choir from age 14 to 16.  She put a stop to that because I enjoyed it and I could sing.  I wonder what the reaction was when she told her friends, "Yea, my kid is so awful.  Oh my God.  She wants to be in the church Choir and I won't let her."  Like, if your biggest problem with your kid is that they want to sing in the church choir and you won't let them you should be grateful.  I could have been out doing drugs and banging random guys and shoplifting and stuff. 

I think I wrote in here once about her whole thing about lufas and body wash.  I wasn't allowed to use a lufa when I was a teenager.  According to her they aren't to wash with.  They are to buff off dead skin.  Just like body wash isn't for washing either according to her.  It's for making you smell good.  Why the hell is it called body wash then and not perfume? 

I have never liked vegetable soup.  Never.  One time I got in trouble for not wanting to eat vegetable soup and her and my step dad were both saying I eat tacos so I should also be ok with eating the vegetable soup.  They tried to say tacos have all the same ingredients.  Um, no. 

I am seriously cracking myself up writing this stuff.  I really do need to try to go back to sleep, though.  Try to get a few more hours in before work.  Might have to bust out the NyQuil, lol. 

Ugh!  Reading the things they did reminds me of many things my husband's parents did to him while growing up... things that never made sense to him, but that it's pretty easy to see they just didn't like him.  Hate that they pulled you out of choir because you loved it 😞  So awful!

21 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Well, not human homes. Just other wren homes.

Those trampy little home wreckers... Who knew? 😆

17 hours ago, mylolita said:

Sorry Spinster, this has gone from your enlightenment to how big or small peoples a***s are 🤣 including mine - LOL!

 

+1  😂

16 hours ago, boltnrun said:

My niece told me "Aunt Boltnrun, you look so healthy these days!". Such a nicer way to say she noticed I put the weight back on. She was happy I was doing better. Instead of insulting me.

Yes, you can tell where it's coming from by the tone/way it's said, etc.  

Positive emotions are felt in speech, same as insulting/negatively meant ones.

And not all the time!  Joking is fun and nice!  But I know what Batya means... and it's ironic they'd never do the same to someone overweight because they'd lose their job/relationship/whatever.  

17 hours ago, mylolita said:

Am I the only one here who would be delighted at being called skinny? 🤣

Believe me, I tend to laugh at crazy things people do more than not  I'd much rather stay good natured and not get bothered at all by what someone says, but I know what Batya's talking about. 

There's this thinly veiled nastiness when a person calls out you're skinny.  It's not meant as a compliment, and it's coming from a negative-emotion place (not sure if it's always jealousy per se, but it's definitely from a negative place).  It's meant as an insult, even if the person it's directed to is secure and confident - they're still being publicly insulted.

On 2/22/2022 at 10:42 AM, Jibralta said:

Apparently, wrens are known to be bigtime homewreckers 😅

Yikes I didn't see anything about that! I'll have to look it up!

6 hours ago, Batya33 said:

It might not.  It might.  I don't see at all why the risk is worth it. Why the need to comment on someone's weight or body size ever. I think there are far better things to talk about and compliment (if it is a compliment).  I went to my dentist's office last year.  As I walked out the hygienist called after me Bye Skinny!! This happens to my mom too.  As if it's ok to comment on someone being skinny because it's presumed to be a compliment. What if the person is skinny because of stress, or doesn't want that sort of attention? I was uncomfortable for a second for sure.  Would she have said Bye Fatty if I were overweight? Or to a man?  What the heck is the point with those ridiculous comments.

No that's awful 😕 and in public has the potential to just be humiliating. I mean no one in their right mind would call out, "Bye Fatty!" and still be thought of as a professional !! Wow, Batya, it's almost comical how nuts people are!

I agree though when someone is in shape or thinner than average, the general comments are far nuttier concerning what people think is Ok

She didn't ruin the friendship at all ❤️ but I agree you have to be careful with comments like that. 

From Journeynow's journal (which I at first mistakenly thought was my journal 🤦‍♀️) 

"Grateful to my younger self

who made choices that have brought me happiness. "

I love this.  I get it that we all make mistakes as our, "younger selves," but it's also nice to appreciate the choices we did get right.

I've been seeing wrens around our house for a couple of weeks now, sometimes daily.  (Just got interrupted by our Viking Child, who also saw a wren last week, it tapped on his window upstairs and surprised him!).  Usually one doesn't see these birds that often, they're so fast and know how to make their songs from points where you can't easily see them. 

One flew down and sat 2 feet away from my oldest and myself when we were looking out the front window and it landed on the banister of the front balcony.  It stayed there hopping around looking in the window at us for about a minute, which is so long for these birds!  Just different....

Wren are such cute, little grumpy creatures ❤️ 

from a site:

Quote

 

If the story behind how the little wrens ended up becoming the king of all birds is any indication, these birds are too smart for their own good. Their ingenuity enables them to protect their fragile selves from all the dangers in the world.

Cheerfulness And Contentment

It doesn’t take much to make the wrens happy. These little birdies are innately jolly and enjoy every moment to its fullest. There’s a popular Irish saying associated with these birds that give us a peek into their personality.

It says, “A wren in hand is better than a crane out of it”. It means that we should try to celebrate our small wins instead of running after something unachievable and failing. This is exactly what the wrens stand for.

Sociability

Wrens are highly social birds that are known for interacting not only with their own species but with other small birds as well. They teach us that socializing, to some extent, is an essential part of our lives; without it, we could grow lonely and bitter.

 

Hi Journey, I'm so so sorry, I almost started writing in your journal last time I was on and tried to find my own to write something.

Really freaked myself out!  I love your journal and reading how you appreciate even the little things ❤️ makes my heart full.

So I wrote that above after I had trouble finding my journal... then when I did find what I thought was my journal, it was actually another person's Gratitude Journal!  Wow! lol... 🤦‍♀️ 

4 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I don't really get why people comment on others bodies in that way.  I've been subject to that too.  I think "you look nice/great" is perfectly fine or "I love that scarf!"  It's like when people comment on my son's height (luckily hasn't happened in a long time).  I didn't mind being told how cute I looked when I was pregnant though LOL but when I was 8 months or so along this stranger -a teenager -stops me in the supermarket -it's 8pm which means for a large pregnant woman it might as well be midnight.  I'm exhausted.  She says "can I ask you a question -how far along are you?"  I told her I wasn't going to answer that and kept walking (no idea really -I was actually within normal weight gain - a bit on the higher side but carrying alllll in front).  

I think people can be really nosy... and then they have no qualms about saying what they're really think.

  I'm unfortunately a very nosy person (bleh! curiosity killed the cat!) but I have to reign it in all the time lol.  

I do think after so many years of knowing me, I think she had the impression I was, "stick thin," or w/o fat, and then there dressing together, she realized (maybe to her relief?) I'd filled out and had gained 20 pounds or so.  She said it in a kind, happy almost congratulatory way 😂 like, "Hey, we all knew you were starving, and it looks like you've eaten a few pizzas!  Congratulations!"

On 2/20/2022 at 11:14 AM, spinstermanquee said:

As Batya so wisely pointed out, it's not a question of how we look on the outside.  That has nothing to do with it.  The only reason I pointed out he is good looking is because I was trying to juxtapose his looks with my feelings.  Lack of respect kills physical desire.  If a man thinks a woman is low value, he might dip his wick but she will NEVER be commitment material.  If a woman thinks a man is low value, he is never gonna get the keys to the Ferrari, NEVER.

I agree with what is being said... looks don't really matter as much as respect and admiration does.

When a woman respects and admires a man, she also desires him.  It really is that simple.

On 2/20/2022 at 8:16 AM, mylolita said:

Everyone says I look well. It’s the rosy cheeks, because I am pale and always running hot 🤣 but sometimes I think, is that a veiled comment to say, “well” means “chunky?” 🤣

LOL yes, I know what you mean (even with the pregnancy, "explosion," as you call it after years of eating a very strict diet and staying almost unnaturally thin.

One friend was going out with me years ago, we were both getting into cocktail dresses and making ourselves ready for the night when she looks at me and says, "You know, you've really filled out and have curves now!"  LOL I know she meant well (boobs/butt) but it hurt! 😂

Your friends are right .. just keep it to yourself and you're fine I seriously doubt anything is wrong with you, but you could always go to a Dr if it worries you in the future.

But you're fine. It will probably go away as you get older and in an established relationship.

I remember back then telling some male commenter that seemed to have good financial sense, that my husband and I were going to try to live on 1,000/mo !  He was kind and encouraging, but definitely did not believe that was going to be possible! LOL

It was a nice try though 😂

I first started reading here and posting some way back in 2008 or 2009, and I don't know what led me to this site.  But I know I found it fascinating to read so many different opinions.  Then I got distracted with life and kids and work and everything, that I didn't get back on apparently until 2017 (!) and had to make a new account. 

I was 21 or 22 when I first started reading here.  ❤️