maritalbliss86

Just finished ordering each school-aged child their curriculum for this school year 🙂. It makes me so happy to see the new courses they'll be taking and all the new info they'll be learning.  I feel like I learn with them each year.  

I try to buy everything used if possible, and it saves 100's of dollars each time it seems.  One child's curriculum alone would be $500 to $1,000 if new... but you can find great deals for under $100 total per child.  So grateful there are people who resell!

Grateful I got it all ordered and figured out now.  

I think this is the earliest I've accomplished that.

10 hours ago, itsallgrand said:

I have strong memories of helping with chicken slaughter and processing... did not enjoy haha.

I'm trying to shelter them from that as much as possible right now, but then part of me wants them to be able to learn how to do it just in case they need to in the future.  Our oldest will start helping soon I'm sure... and then maybe the younger ones once they're old enough, but I'll be fine if they want to wait until adults.

10 hours ago, itsallgrand said:

On another topic, I'm super excited for you and your new home!! Lots of work but so rewarding, yeah?!  It sounds like you have quite a spot! 

 

Thank you it is very hard clearing it and moving rocks and such, but you're right, it is rewarding to see our work pay off.  

When our daughter saw the land a few days ago, after it was cleared, she burst into tears because all the cedar was down and chipped and it did look a little like a disaster had occurred.  She's 5 🙂 we were able to make her happy by showing her the views and where the house will be and everything.

Today we were out there for hours which wasn't the plan but things took longer than expected.  I thought everything was going well, was ready to take them to lunch and get burgers and smoothies but they had HAD it and were in terrible moods!  I had a full-on mutiny on my hands.  Ugh parenting!

1 hour ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Yes and I used to be fine with it because children aren't there at those events.  It never bothered me then.

This is different as it was a public event where children were with their parents... so a different thing when kids get exposed to breasts/genitals whether it's male or female, etc. that feels more, "wrong."  

I get it that happens in European countries.  France is also where cheating is practically normalized so I think that goes with their values and lower views of women/marriage.

Something else I just thought of regarding modeling and France....

In France, female models are expected to do things that most American women would see as, "degrading."  And even as minors.   And if they refuse, they are fired.  Things like being expected to do an ad completely naked - and not get paid more for it... things like that are expected of them, which American models are usually shocked by because in America, women. are either paid more when naked or it's at least not always expected.  

Women models (women in general) are basically more *respected* in the American modeling world, whereas in France they don't have a say about those things and *will* lose their job/financial security if they refuse.  So which woman is more free?  It's the one who has the choice to refuse.  Models are always at risk of being exploited, but it's also well-known in that world that they are more likely to be exploited in Europe.

So copying their values wouldn't be a good thing for women in that way.  If anything it just makes men more used to expecting women be a certain value-less way, which ends up lowering their views of what women should be able to refuse (if that makes sense).

On 7/12/2022 at 6:40 PM, itsallgrand said:

but yeah it's another thing altogether to complain if people notice.

You know... the thing is that I'm sure if those women understood that my husband had noticed (and was disgusted), they definitely would have been outraged, complained and he would have been fired (he was working).  I think half the country is getting tired of putting up with that kind of toddler-like attitude of, "I do what I want and you can't do/say/think anything negative about it."

So that kind of dishonesty from women is what a lot of the country is noticing.  It's so dishonest that it becomes oppressive and totalitarian... It's ironic you mention control - because they have all the control here.  I do think a backlash like the Roe reversal will come due because it just makes sense as a societal correction....  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction kind of thing.

On 7/12/2022 at 4:34 PM, mylolita said:

Have you ever witnessed a catwalk? All the models have iron board flat chests.

Yes and I used to be fine with it because children aren't there at those events.  It never bothered me then.

This is different as it was a public event where children were with their parents... so a different thing when kids get exposed to breasts/genitals whether it's male or female, etc. that feels more, "wrong."  

I get it that happens in European countries.  France is also where cheating is practically normalized so I think that goes with their values and lower views of women/marriage.

On 7/12/2022 at 6:40 PM, itsallgrand said:

There's no getting away with braless or cute little things, but man do I wish. My bras are investments lol. I feel way more comfy with one on and I also just really like undergarments and lingerie.

I'm the same way.  

You looked incredible, Lo...  I think all this project stuff going on is getting to me... we went out and cleared more trees and rocks and we all got lost in the view.  

I am worried about the US... it's like each side keeps getting more extreme - it reminds me of a toxic married couple that just needs to divorce already, because they no longer share the same values remotely.  Oh well ... Hopefully we'll move out of the country if it gets too extreme for us. 

I just saw some celebrity is getting angry that men noticed she went out without a bra... in a see-through dress 🙄.  So maybe I was right that this is a new trend... hopefully it passes soon before it makes everyone view women as even less capable of making good, responsible, adult decisions.

It's very simple, if you don't want to have your breasts talked about openly, then you don't go out in public where everyone will see them and have their own opinions on them.  And she was soooo angry men noticed 🙄.  Her social media post shaming people for noticing was ridiculous.

Kindergarten girls have more sense than this woman.  

I think eventually women are going to lose our rights to vote in this country.  

I will be sad because I love voting and want my daughter to vote.  But I've seen the arguments out there for it, and many women support using their last vote to prevent harpies like this one talking down to them and expecting them to, "Eat Sh*t," and tolerate their disingenuous arguments that they should be allowed to do whatever they want.  I'm sure it will be over a myriad of minor things like this adding up overtime... but I do think it could happen, because this side is just getting too extreme.  And women like her will be so shocked (lol)... like the Roe vs. Wade reversal... it could happen.  

They can't continue expecting the other side to, "Eat Sh*t," if they don't like their children being exposed to their showing everything in public, among other society-destroying issues the other side cannot accept.  

From a male commenter:

"It isn't about your tiny ***, you silly, narcissistic, self absorbed, ignorant woman.

It is about thousands of years of civilization, and the types of behavior and conduct which are beneficial to that civilization, and the types that are not. "

Well said.  I wish she was intelligent enough to understand that, but I think she cares more about winning this ridiculous battle (to wear see-through clothes in public) than the war (to aid in women being seen as responsible adults who deserve the right to vote).  When a kindergartner acts more responsible for their choices than an adult woman, we have a problem.

.... @Jibralta I wonder if you're incredibly blessed/lucky to have better/stronger tissue?  

I'm surprised mine have done so well after 4 kids and breastfeeding... I was worried it'd be a lot worse, but I've had fibroid issues off and on since before having kids, and a doctor told me one time that they make ones breasts, "thicker," in general, so I'm wondering if maybe having that issue actually helped.  

Do you wear a sports bra or shelf bra built into clothing?  Because those help some more than wearing nothing I'm guessing?  These girls were literally wearing nothing underneath and you could see the whole actual boob through the sides of their shirts (!!!), and that there was no under-boob, just flat as pancakes... like breasts a very elderly lady would have, only on teens and 20's 😕. It looked like their complete breast tissue was ruined, and so so young!  And this wasn't just one time, either that he's seen this and come back to complain to me how awful it looked.  I know I know... he probably overshares, but that's part of why I love him, we tell each other literally everything.

I know my mom was always like, "Wear a bra... I didn't in the 60's and boy do I regret it."  And she had physical results of sagging that she attributed to it ( and no she didn't breastfeed).  

Edited to add an article on it... https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/is-not-wearing-bra-good-for-you

We have a new project going on... it is seriously stressful, but exciting... but so stressful.  

We also decided to start developing on a piece of land (the future homesteading site... we've found it).  So that is also exciting but also stressful.  Clearing the land starts tomorrow, God-willing.  Getting everything set up out there is difficult, but doable... I'm curious how long the land clearing will take this week, because it is difficult, raw, tough land.  

Things are so backed up that even getting septic installed is months out (!).  I find myself wondering can we all survive without working toilets for a few months, just to be able to move in earlier and start life out there sooner.  It would help our homeschool calendar if we were able to move in before September... even without septic.  We'd have water because of the rain collection system install and fill, so we could take showers and wash dishes, baths etc. but not use toilets (black water needs a place to be treated etc.).  Thank goodness our homeschool schedule is really flexible.  We can take a couple of months off if needed, although I'd rather keep on time.

So... can I live for a few months without a working toilet 🤯... the land is worth it, high up in the hills with views 30-40 miles away... independence, more room for our farm animals, etc.  I think we could do it... but ugh!

3 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Because it's a problematic, and frankly rather strange, message to send a young lady who came asking for advice on a completely unrelated topic. 

 

Online is a weird place.  Tangents often get thrown in and honestly, I just thought of it as an off-comment since several OTHER posters brought up that as she ages, things will change. This fit right in with that... she even brought up being noticed by lots of men on her own.  She brought up that she was getting male eye-attention.  This also fits in with that.

I think it's odd and socially awkward that you're laser focused on my comment, when tangents on different threads get thrown in all the time.  

On 4/30/2022 at 9:46 PM, Seraphim said:

He knew there was no going back in the first year they were apart. He knew there was no going back when she punched him in the back of the head and almost knocked him out and almost sent him flying down the stairs then shoved him out the door in -38C wearing nothing but a pair of pants and shoes. She’s nuts. 
 

They have been fighting over a settlement for 10 years he was never going to go back. SHE wants him because she realises she messed herself out of a good deal and no one wants her. 

I think our brothers married the same woman.  Ugh!!!    

So glad yours got away.

16 hours ago, Jibralta said:

The littlest girl was having a ball, giggling up a storm. Her mischievous spirit was infectious (at least to me).

That sounds exactly like our daughter ❤️ she is mischievous and SO adorable!

That's awesome Jibralta ❤️  Soooo cute about the daughters photobombing and taking pictures, etc.

There's a homeschool mom group at this new area that has brought me into their circle, and they are wild and fun women - which is hard to find in this area... people who are Christians but also actually have fun lol.  

They invited me to a girls night out a few weeks ago at a restaurant and I haven't had so much fun with other ladies in a long time.  We laughed so much and it was a great break from the kids and school-life, etc.  Sad that Sarah's husband is a jerk 😕 women really need to get out together, have fun etc.

7 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

I strongly doubt these young ladies are dressing to impress a random old guy who's apparently looking at their chests. 

Also he actually thinks of our daughter when he sees things like this, since she'll be subject to wanting to fit in and follow trends etc.

It makes him worry about her and think of her when he sees younger women doing ridiculous stuff... Various different things I'm sure you wouldn't understand or would deliberately mischaracterize.  

I get it you're trying to insult him, imply he's a pig or something, but we're parents, we see things from a different perspective because it will affect our kids someday. He's very glad I'm teaching our daughter to take care of herself etc.

17 hours ago, Batya33 said:

What does the way a woman's breasts look have to do with her beauty? Should men make sure to have six packs and huge biceps and avoid any kind of excess fat on their bellies? Or invest in um lengthening products for their male parts? The reason to wear a bra is to cover up if see through and also for certain women for their physical health -I'm small chested but from what I understand from friends large chested women might have back issues etc without enough support? (sorry if I have that wrong, that is how I understood it).  

No it's not awful to have sagging in that area, to be small, to have "pancake breasts" -has nothing to do with "beauty".  Maybe some of them had preventative masectomies after having discovered a BRCA gene or like my friend had one right after her mother died from breast cancer -because in her late 30s she was diagnosed with breast cancer (oh and she looked like she was in her 20s). Maybe some of them feel pain after surgery if they wear a bra - how would he feel if he found out that was the reason?

I'm so sorry your husband is so "disgusted" about checking out what women are wearing or choosing not to wear.  Sucks to have to be subjected to that repulsive sight I'm sure and to feel that level of pity for another human being and how she is treating her breasts.  Are men held to this standard of not ruining their beauty with those sorts of choices - would he be repulsed watching a 20 something man having 2 beers because that will lead to a beer belly? 

I'm sure your husband is a wonderful person and a person of character and integrity.  He is not the only man or the last man to be horrified when a woman does something that might make her look older or less desirable physically.  Like the old custom of binding a female child's feet, or the unfortunately newer custom of parents who focus on their daughter's eating habits lest they be a wee bit overweight and ruin their chances of catching a good man.  

Here's what I think makes a woman look beautiful - I can tell (on me, no I don't care whether I look "beautiful" to others) -being hydrated - a woman who drinks enough water and doesn't smoke or drink too much alcohol has healthier looking, glowier skin no matter what her age. 

A woman who carries herself well and wears clothing that is flattering to her - and comfortable for her -so she looks like she's comfortable in her own skin and feels so.  A woman who speaks with assertiveness and without the constant uptone question mark at the end of saying something she believes in.  That's beautiful looking too.  A woman who moves with energy if she possibly can or at least shows energy through her eye contact, her sparkle in her face.  

Since she seems to want to age well, this topic of taking care of her natural breast health fits right in with keeping up her natural beauty. 

It's not wrong to warn her about this trend... Apparently no one is telling these girls that this will ruin their breasts health by breaking down their collagen and elasticity.  It's not taking care of your body to age yourself too early. It's almost like smoking... why do it?

So many women get breast implants for the lack of having this natural feature that really could be preserved by simply taking care of themselves.  Natural is simply healthier less risky, less costly etc.

I get it that you don't understand why a woman would want to take good care of her breast health, which includes her natural collagen and elasticity.

For me I'd rather encourage her to take care of her youthful, natural beauty to age more gracefully.

7 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

I strongly doubt these young ladies are dressing to impress a random old guy who's apparently looking at their chests. 

When everything is hanging out and nipples are showing through and the sides of tops are cut so low you can see everything, they are *definitely* dressing to have all of that seen.  Not wearing a bra is immediately obvious to most men even if they don't want to notice.

It's unprofessional too for work areas etc because it's so obvious.

Recent interesting events... from a skeptic:

1) April fire at the port of Benicia, Calif, harming gasoline production

2) natural gas pipeline explosion in Michigan in March

3) boiler explosion at Shearer's Foods in Hermiston, Ore. in February... company ends up laying off its employees

4) large fire in March at Penobscot McCrum potato processing plant in Maine

5) in April private plan crashed into Gem State Processing potato plant in Idaho

6) a week later another private plan crashed into General Mills plant in Covington, Georgia

7) massive fire at Taylor Farms food processing plant in Salinas, Calif

8 also in April the Dufur, Ore headquarters of Azure Standard, leading organic food distributor, was destroyed by fire

9) and another fire destroyed the East Conway Beef & Pork Meat Market in Conway, NH 

10) early in May a chicken farm in Jones Co Miss was destroyed by fire

12) Walmart fulfillment center in Indiana caught fire in late May

13) also in late May a fire at Forsman Farms in Howard Lake, Minn... killed tens of thousands of chickens

14) mid-June huge fire at Festive Foods pizza plant in Belmont Wis

15)Iowa in April.. 5 million chickens killed after discovery of a single case of avian flu.  

16) 22 million more chickens were killed nationwide in attempt to contain outbreak

17) thousands of cattle died in Kansas in June... blamed on heat (even though farmers are skeptical as this hasn't happened on that scale before, and it wasn't that hot of a period)

18) in May a coal train derailed near Neb.

19) June 1st another train derailed near Lansing, Iowa with 10 coal cars spilling contents into Mississippi River

20) another train derailed in Shiner, TX June 3rd, dumping coal

21) British Columbia another cola train derail on June 18th... losing coal from 15 train cars 

22)same day one more coal train derailed in Lawrence, Kan. spilling "large amount" of coal. 

***

I'm wondering how all these coincidences will work themselves out.

For the OP,

Because you're only 19 and apparently teens aren't wearing bras as much, please continue wearing a bra 🙂. 

My husband has some job duties where he's been to certain places and noticed females in high school and college being out at events etc. and wearing no bras at all 😮 - and their breasts looked flat as pancakes!  He was totally and thoroughly disgusted and surprised they were doing this to their beauty... and it's pretty obvious unfortunately when a woman doesn't wear a bra, so everyone will notice.

I think it must be a new, "trend,"   .... but having pancake breasts in your teens or young twenties will be awful for the next decades to come.  He actually thanked me for taking care of myself better.  

So wear a bra!

15 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

When I was at my high school and college reunions, I was shocked to see typical women and I couldn't compare to how pretty they were during their youth.  They did not take good care of themselves.  Same with men.  

 

I've seen that, too.  

I find it ironic that some of the prettiest and meanest girls in high school, look absolutely terrible now.  Not always of course, but it's like the drinking and partying from high school and college finally ruined their looks.  

When you make different choices, it shows.

22 hours ago, Batya33 said:

(I have no interested in attracting male attention outside my marriage-zero -it would not be flattering, it would not be welcome - I am very focused on keeping my body thin and fit and I enjoy wearing my hair down when I can and putting on a bit of makeup, at times -but not to look young, not to attract male attention -honestly it sometimes perks me up some and I like that feeling).

I'm not saying she should try to do this, but that it's a normal byproduct of keeping yourself looking good.  

She's going to have to get used to male attention if she has really come into her own beauty... because from my experience, it doesn't just, "Go away," after a certain time period.  I was very shocked I was still noticed now after 4 kids, but I also do not look like I've had 4 kids, nor my age so....  

I think that kind of attention goes to a woman's head.  If she doesn't deal with that internally, then she won't appreciate this guy (is what I'm saying).  And of course her looks will fade eventually, so making her decisions on men - ie: who to marry! (and ignoring unwanted attention for decades) is something crucial for women to learn how to do.

Something I just thought of....

I know a woman 10 years younger than me that went through kind of the same things you're feeling now, but she ended up marrying her boyfriend that she was semi-embarrassed about.  

She actually was a model, her mom was a photographer and that's how I was connected with them... her mom wanted to do a photoshoot of me but I declined back then.  But I'm telling you this so you can understand her level of, "pretty."  She was a model.

Well... their marriage is NOT working out.  I don't think she ever really got over the attractive level difference between them and last I talked to her she was still flirting with an old boyfriend and emotionally cheating on her husband. 😞.

So... if you really think you can't deal with how attractive or not he is, please don't marry him.

On 7/6/2022 at 7:33 PM, sophieneedsadvice said:

I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like a “pretty girl” because i feel like I can’t get out of old thought pattern I had when I hated the way I looked.

I used to think that way too, but becoming more mature with time is nice because you just don't care anymore.  It's very freeing.  You blossom into your beauty and it doesn't have to fade yet until much much later.

If you keep yourself in shape and take care of your skin and appearance, you'll find men still noticing you, flirting with you and being attracted to you well into your 40's possibly 50's depending on how you age.  

I was like you 🙂 getting lots of attention while young and I was surprised (ugly ducking all the way growing up lol!).  It does kind of taper off if you have kids with you on errands, but from my experience even at 35 almost 36 if I go out without the kids, or even just with one child, I get a lot of men hitting on me... which is very surprising.  People have told me I look 25.  One lady thought I was a freshman in college.  So it just depends on how well you take care of yourself.  

On 7/6/2022 at 7:33 PM, sophieneedsadvice said:

I feel like there’s this expectation for me to date a certain type of guy because my friends never seem to think the guys I like are cute enough, unless they’re super physically attractive (who I prefer not to date because of past experiences).

I used to get this reaction - a few times...  both in high school and college.  It would surprise me, too.  But if you're attracted to him, it doesn't matter at all what other people think 😉.  

I'm sorry for all that driving!  But I'm so glad you're on holiday!!!!  

In Tough Times - Goodness Will Prevail

The generation of the upright will be blessed.

Wealth and riches are in his house,

and his righteousness endures forever.

Light shines in the darkness for the upright ❤️ 💡

Good will come to a man who lends generously 💰❤️ and conducts his business fairly.

He will never be shaken. 

The righteous will be remembered forever (a long-lasting legacy)

He will not fear bad news; his heart is confident, trusting in the LORD.

His heart is assured; he will not fear.  In the end he will look in triumph on his foes. 😎

He distributes freely to the poor 🤗💰; his righteousness endures forever.

The wicked man will see it and be angry ; he will gnash his teeth in despair.  

The desire of the wicked will come to nothing 👿.