maritalbliss86

Another random thing that show made me realize again. Bald men shouldn't worry about being bald... I think I've heard before that men who have hair don't have a hard time dating vs being bald?  This was more proof to me that it doesn't really matter. Or at least other things seem more important.

Jason and Brett probably wouldn't consider themselves attractive, or they'd say it's their money and success that makes them attractive if anything.

But there was something **else,** probably their confidence and the way they flirted (when they flirted which wasn't often). I think it was their confidence, being well dressed, and their personalities that were attractive.... And then I do think it's their business success that puts them on the same level as these extremely gorgeous women, some who are models and actresses, so not your average woman. So yes their money and success puts them in that range, but they did have attractiveness aside from that proving being bald isn't the end.

Oh and they aren't even just bald they are also shorter than average, which imo is even harder for a man.  Even still, I hardly noticed these "problems" and both could have had a woman who was in love with them, however, they chose bachelorhood.

I love having a journal to talk about these silly things no one is interested in 😂. 

How could I not mention Maya ❤️ I identified with her, too, with her low key personality and how she kept popping out babies, plus she's Israeli.

Random rant 😍

I ended up watching some of the selling sunset reality show of realtor ladies in the Oppenheim group ❤️.

I liked more of them than I expected I would, they reminded me so much of the girls I grew up with in the small, affluent town I grew up in where girls dyed their hair blonde and all the moms had a procedure called the mommy makeover (plastic surgery) and some teens actually had breast implants...it was nuts! And soooo dramatic.  Maybe that's why I'm blonde and low-key now though, growing up in that kind of world is so so strange, yet had it's effects on me whether I wanted it to or not. 

I think I did ok considering how out of touch with reality that world is.  A lot of my evolution has to do with my husband though ❤️ he's been such a strong, good character to hold on to, like a rock or anchor in hard times and able to joke through anything.

So I liked watching the ladies sell their houses. I feel like I understand women like that 😊 I think if I had to pick one I most identified with and come across as, it would be Heather. We even kind of look alike.

It killed me that she didn't end up with Brett! There was sooo much sexual chemistry and he even admitted he would have a mad crush on her if they wanted the same things (!!!).  He reminded me of my husband 😃 the way he flirted with her and the sexual chemistry there between them etc... Made me soooo sad he wasn't with her and she married some Moussa guy. 

People underestimate how amazing being in love feels... And if you marry the one that makes you feel like that, that feeling doesn't go away. It almost feels too good to be true at times, just made me so sad that Brett will more than likely never experience anything like that.

So it was sad. Jason and Chrishell were even more devastating -- geez!  Not watching anything else like that for another few years now lol.  

But the real estate market was so fascinating, I feel like I learned a tiny bit, but wow that Christine woman 😳👀😬 so many things one could say about that.

Jason and Brett seem so smart, but the whole reality show thing didn't seem to work out best for their company overall.  I hope they end up doing ok....

Need to update on the homesteading front --

So I processed my first rabbit this weekend with the help of my rabbit meat mentor M.  My husband can't be there to always do these things because if his work, so it's necessary I'm able to handle it 😬.

M. is from up North and has been living like this for decades since his childhood, so he's the one I bought from as well as the person to teach me everything I need to know. He's moving back up north because he's tired of Texas and all the problems we're having.  He has 300+ acres that have been in his family for generations so he's already set and I didn't realize it, but he was actually helping me to take over his niche in this community (!).  

He's setting me up to be able to sell both meat rabbits and pet rabbits and connecting me with the people he sold to and businesses. It's insane and another God thing.  I couldn't be more grateful.  I can't believe how God's taken care of us in this transition, putting specific people in our life at just the right moment or time. It's so amazing.

Soooo.... Processing a rabbit 😭.  It took him 2 minutes and that was going slow so that he could teach me (!).  It was insanely easy, and the meat was in the fridge so fast I couldn't believe it.

We just cooked it tonight and the flavor was out of this world. It actually has a bacon kind of flavor, but then I spoiled my rabbits so this one has a bit of fat on it and I'm thinking the fat must have given it that flavor. But overall I'm VERY impressed with how easy it is and how tasty it is.  Rabbit meat is supposed to be super healthy, too, slightly healthier than chicken I believe, so we're providing nourishing food for our family and giving Biden's food prices the middle finger.

I prayed and also had a moment where I thanked the rabbit for giving it's life before being able to eat it -- it felt *wrong* to eat a bite before acknowledging this sacrifice that took place. I mean.... watching an animal die so you can eat is so life altering (remember I'm the "snowflake generation" so this was huge).  Im glad we're living this way... More connected to real life and nature, and I'm teaching our kids to look at meat that way too now.  

For people who eat meat that's from a grocery or restaurant, I can see how it's almost impossible to have a connection with how an animal had to die so they could eat that. I didn't either before this ... But WOW I'm not going to be able to see meat the same again now. I'm a lot more grateful and I see it as such a valuable thing especially with the shortages etc.

The goats milk is exciting too. ❤️ I'm glad I can use it to help new moms if the baby formula crisis continues or gets worse.  It's soooo good for babies and children, a lot better than cow's milk.

I do get it , the collateral damage. And I can see how the husband sounds even worse because he doesn't even pretend to be nice in public.  That would be so hard to maintain a peaceful relationship with even for the kids'sake.

So I get it that the parents kind of caused this situation. I guess recruiting **everyone else** is what bothers me hearing it.  Why not allow them to decide who to spend time with? Rather than gathering people to your side against her personally?

We were in that situation, a couple of angry relatives insisted on keeping resentful, bitter attitudes, and tried to get more relatives to close us out.  It ended up backfiring on them in multiple ways.  They are not happy people, and getting their "revenge" that way didn't work out for them or make them happier. 

I don't think doing things like that are wise, but I get it that the husband and your sister sound **awful** and they've created this bad situation and their kids are collateral damage.

The kids already have two crappy sounding parents....  Why prevent them from getting to see and experience normal loving relatives, is my line of thinking.

2 hours ago, redsox22 said:

It comes across as a lot of energy spent on this situation and your relationship with your sister, at your own expense. You keep saying you don't need to do anything. You are right. You don't. But yet you are spending a considerable amount of time here with lengthy explanations and going back and forth with others.  To what end?  You don't need us to agree.  You don't need our approval. You have your plans set.  

For your own health and sanity and peace I would say stop giving any of it any energy or time.  Truly do nothing. Let it go and live your life. Find peace.

I agree she doesn't need anyone's approval.

 Most seem to be pointing out that she can just ignore this sister and rise above it. Continue on and let it go basically.

I think trying to get her in-laws and husband to close ranks against the sister so that she and her kids can't come around anymore is the issue people are seeing that just seems vengeful and unnecessary.

46 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I have also told him to apply to VA for injury because he was on duty . 

We've been through something similar to that... I hope it works out, it seems like they're always looking to do the least rather than actually FIX the issue 😕 

I should add though... I understand how angering and demeaning and horrible her comments and texts/words would be to you, Cherylyn.  I would avoid her as much as possible.

And that apology thing is VERY hard to follow through on.  I think in part the reason why Batya's relative was able to do that was because of her advanced age being in her 80's... I certainly haven't responded like that all the time, but usually when I react in the past it's shown me that it didn't work out the best.  

I've seen that apology-disarming technique and it mystifies me how well it actually works.  Makes me wonder if the younger people who utilize that have studied conflict resolution or something academically... because it's that useful a tool, and it takes SO MUCH self-discipline.

I'm so sorry Seraphim.  I used to work/volunteer in an outpatient therapy setting, and usually these things improve with time but everyone's brain is different.  

The brain is so amazing... it can heal itself with proper care.  Maybe you could look into neuroplasticity and maybe there's something on YouTube that would help - even listening to certain frequency sounds can be healing in strange way they don't understand yet.  I have a friend whose daughter used things like this, and she improved dramatically (it was a couple of years though).

4 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

to quietly apologize with no backstory -a simple apology.  As short as the other person's rant was long.  So you know it wasn't even an exchange.  It was Ranter ranting, my mom responding with a short but genuine apology (I mean genuine in the sense that she genuinely chose to apologize in the name of family peace)

I think she was wise.  A simple apology can be very disarming and calm a crazy person down remarkably.  I've seen that.  

I think Cherylyn's sister just had a terrible reaction to the news her father was abusive like others have pointed out... maybe saying, "I'm sorry this was hard for you to hear etc." and ignoring her (and absorbing the hurt and pain) would have disarmed her a bit and calmed down the drama.

3 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

My sister does not get to enjoy the perks of having my in-laws in her social life while treating my husband and me very badly behind their backs which is grossly unfair.  It's time for this charade to end.

It just sounds like so. much. drama.

I think accepting her for who she is, and not expecting her to act better or differently, would give you a lot of peace over this ❤️.

For me... my problem has been thinking people will suddenly act better for once - stop being their (normal) terrible selves and that we can all just get along.  Accepting who someone IS and what they act like has given me so much mental freedom to walk away with peace and happiness that yes, they may suck but they aren't my problem to worry about.  I hope you find that peace and that you can just ignore her drama from now on.

9 hours ago, Germanlearner said:

Also she is not happy about this and would prefer her drive came back. The reason we're here is we've exhausted nearly every option to do so, and so are now looking into how to make things work without it.

She needs to go to sex counseling.  

She doesn't *have* to just lay there and impose, "starfish sex," on you.  She's doing it deliberately.  

Even prostitutes or porn actresses understand they can get into it and, "play," and she could do something similar because she'd know you'd enjoy that.  

This is a choice she's making psychologically - to deliberately not let herself enjoy it anymore.

It would take a good sex psychologist to help her find out *why* she's doing this to you though.  So she'd have to be willing to go.  If she isn't willing, then you have your answer right there that at some level, she's punishing you with this.

Oh man I said, "y'all."  I try so hard to say, "you."  😂 I would edit it, but it's kind of funny 🙂 

9 hours ago, Germanlearner said:

She didn't unilaterally decide, and been willing to keep having sex she wasn't really into.

It was me who decided to stop that (with talking to her of course) because it wasn't working. Mutual enjoyment is important to me, and with that usually missing, it started felling worse than nothing.

Yes, that's called, "Starfish sex," where the wife just lays there and, "endures," it lol....   

NO normal man would enjoy that.  And women know this.  

So she killed it herself by allowing herself to be a starfish with you.

...

Later on... you may want to grieve this, because it is a death of a kind.  She killed y'all's relationship, and she's not sorry about it.

24 minutes ago, Germanlearner said:

Has anyone had experience with successful relationships without sex?

 

I think it's usually a, "must."  

Otherwise the couples usually have affair partners to meet that need... like an open relationship marriage, which usually doesn't work out longterm for most people.  You should read some first-hand accounts of what those marriages are like, it is eye-opening and often very dramatic.  Unstable for kids, in my opinion, and you do have kids to consider who will reap the consequences of what you as adults decide.

It's probably best to either try to bring sex back in (regularly) OR divorce and move on so you're not creating an open marriage/unstable environment for kids to be raised in.

5 hours ago, indea08 said:

They’ll help you set up an Scorp so you get to keep as much of your $$ as possible.

This is something I've never heard of... Thank you

So I just received another interested cash buyer that is looking to buy from us wholesale.

I have 2 in the works... one that offers 10,000 if you get them a house deal, and then this other couple that will probably offer more like $3,000 or 4,000 which is still nice.  

I mean... that's more that what I was currently making per month ($0 lol).  

I think we can do this... or at least I can since I do have extra time now that the baby is getting a lot easier (knock on wood!).  

I think it's common when something traumatic happens and a stranger or acquaintance randomly asks you about that person or situation, to just answer on autopilot.  I know I felt guilty too, and very surprised that my autopilot answer was a lie, but I think it was my brain in survival mode or something.  

Don't beat yourself up OP... I think you're still on autopilot.

2 hours ago, sadchick83 said:

First, you do not set up LLCs with the IRS.  You set up an LLC with your state.  You will eventually file taxes with the IRS based on the entity you selected.  An LLC can be a SMLLC - a single member which you will file on Schedule C of your individual tax return. Or and LLC can be a partnership(must have 2 or more people with the intention to set up a business for profit.  Generally LLCs do not pay taxes and the income from the partnership flow up to its members.

In order to provide asset protection, you should have a separate bank account for you LLC business - do not commingle with anything other than the business.

Insurance is good to have (not my area of expertise.  The LLC does not allow you to be gross negligent, so good to look into insurance.

 

With a single member LLC you will not file a K-1,  one partnerships do this

Great advice!  And yes thank you, I learned that about needing to set up a separate bank account and not comingle funds, do payouts to yourself instead, etc, but so good to hear it repeated.

Plus the tax filing info 👍 thanks!

2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

They are very cute, but apparently they can't be house trained. They poop anywhere and everywhere.

Right I get it.  Apparently chickens are the same way.

Our 3 hens keep trying to find ways to get into the house or storage room we have here.  And the poop everywhere so the house is definitely a no-go LOL

Their antics are hilarious though... I imagine ducks are probably more calm and cute in personality.  Chickens are a little nuts - dramatic and funny though 🙂 

I had something very similar to your chest pain experience happen after my Grandmother died.  Went to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack or had had one.  

They ran all kinds of tests and did an EKG and everything came back completely normal.

Then they asked the psychological questions and found out my Grandmother had just passed, and the Dr and nurse told me this is a normal thing that can happen when experience severe grief - the chest pains.  

So it may just be the grieving process for you.  Everyone grieves differently.  I do think it can be dangerous, as your heart muscle can be affected (think of the, "dying of a broken heart," medical condition).  

Usually if it's the broken heart syndrome thing it gets better within a few months, but doctors recommend taking it easy as I think the heart muscle is stressed and damaged physically and needs that time to repair.  Ironic that *emotions* can be SO strong that they affect the heart physically.

https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/cardiomyopathy/what-is-cardiomyopathy-in-adults/is-broken-heart-syndrome-real

I don't have a Facebook, but I could try our old nextdoor account.  Thanks Batya.

There really is a lot of Facebook I've realized I'm missing out on as far as support groups go.  Homeschool stuff, goat and farming groups for selling or trading animals... and probably fix and flip groups for regular people and realtors who do it.

Maybe I'll get back on at some point hmm....

Ohhhhhh !!!!

I'm going to sound nuts, but that looks like the kind of duck that is next on my list of desired animals for our backyard farm!!!!  

A peking duck I think?  We just want one female and plan to sell the eggs since people in this area love buying duck eggs (seems odd to me, but then I've never tried one).

❤️ 

I had no idea we'd be able to take her on adventures LOL ❤️ 

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I would call someone at your local real estate broker association or real estate-related or check the FAQ to find out all the requirements. My sense is it varies by location as far as the risk level you might be taking on.

Hmm... well we do have friends (husband and wife) that are a realtor team that are giving us access to their MLS (for wholesaling purposes) and lots of advice, guidance, and basically mentorship.  I can ask them if we need more for sure.  Is that what you mean though?  

Unfortunately I think anyone can wholesale or fix and flip - there aren't many legal, requirements in Texas... but it still seems wise to have that LLC and then maybe another insurance on top of that (since creating the LLC is easy and free!).  

A man that had 9 properties that I met at the courthouse auction recently told me he had what's called an, "Umbrella Insurance," and that was all he needed.  So it seems like there are different types to choose from...  ?

Legally, my husband has access to a lawyer group for free that handled selling our house (the legal real estate contracts, making sure it was a good deal legally, etc), so we do have legal representation.  It's just probably not an official real estate attorney though, which I don't know if we should bother paying for extra 😕 .

Thank you, Batya, that helped me realize the different options we have to at least search out this answer.