maritalbliss86

Does your husband know which cat bit him?  

Might consider getting the bully cat to another home... I don't like bully cats. 

Well, I mean for our younger kids, they're actually dangerous since they're so unpredictable.

OK I just edited it again to add the Honey!!!!

You almost can't drink this drink without a sweetener, it's very sour (but so good for you!).

We've been constantly exposed this entire time, with multiple coworkers of my husband's getting the virus and some ending up in the hospital for over a month!  I've been making this (and adding Vit D to my husband's stuff) from the get-go and so far we've been lucky.

There's something about this drink that combines the Vit C with the Vit D (plus maybe the ginger and honey on their own as well) that seems to make it extra helpful for boosting immunity in general.  

I think of it as an Asian, "white tea."

25 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Relapsing big time. Body aches are awful, my head is hurting again, congestion is back, chest pain has come back and I'm fatigued. I understand now why my retest was positive; I am still sick.

Thankfully my brother and nephew are well on the way to full recovery.

Ugh!!!  So awful to be going back into a relapse.  

Do you have access to Vit D at all?  

A very good, "tea," to make is a grapefruit, lemon, ginger tea (hot) and then add a few drops of a high quality Vit D liquid vitamin.

My recipe for it is:

1/4 of a grapefruit

2 lemons squeezed for their juice

2 teaspoons ginger

1 cup ice

2 cups water

***Honey to sweeten (about a whole Tablespoon)  Edited to add this because it's almost undrinkable without a sweetener!!!

**Put it all into a blender to get it nice and frothy... THEN pour enough into a mug and heat in the microwave for 1 minute (I know it sounds counterintuitive to heat something you just put ice into, but it's frothier and nicer to drink this way in my opinion).  There's something about heating it that helps activate the ginger and other ingredients also.

Edited to add: It should last for 2 mugs at least (I keep it in the fridge inside the blender container for easy access).  Makes your grapefruits last longer, too, when you're just using 1/4 at a time.

2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

My husband and I have been huge fans since the beginning. When my son was about 8ish or so we introduced him to Star Wars and he has been a massive fan since. My own family of origin is very much SiFi fans anything to do with space whether science based or otherwise we LOVE it. I got a telescope I think for my 10th birthday( not really sure but about that) I used to save up my .25 allowance to buy books about space. I wanted to be an astronomer. But as life would have it I am not spectacular at math because we moved 37 times when I was a kid and I never learned the skills sequentially. So I didn’t get my senior matriculation because I didn’t do grade 12 math, I only completed grade 11 math. All my other subjects including biology ( which I scored in the first percentage in the province ) and chemistry were all grade 12. 
 

While I was very strong in biology my other sciences were not high enough for university level programme so my university BA  is History with Hons. Then I wanted to be a lawyer but met my husband and the rest is history. I did go more medical background in the military becoming a medical assistant where I got 98.9 % in my last trade course . 
 

My husband has a far more technical background. His degree is in history and geography from university but his career in the military is very varied. His last trade was very technical. He was a avionics systems technician. Then he taught his trade and then went to standards but now has changed trades to become someone who designs training curriculums and will eventually be doing his Masters in Education. He is just so bright on many levels. 
 

Wow, that was rambling. 😂 

Wow all of that is so interesting!!!  Wow, Seraphim, thanks for rambling ❤️ I loved it!

I think math gets easier as you practice it, and that makes sense it was hard for you moving that often to really master those skills 😞   For me... I was pretty bad at math until college where for some reason (probably all the constant practice in the courses I took) it really started to, "click."  It was probably like a sink or swim scenario with tons and tons of practice until it finally made sense.

Put on Star Wars this morning after reading you and your family were watching it awhile ago.  All of us a big-time Star Wars nerds, and it's helping with the sleep deprivation as the kids are really into it LOL 

Thanks, Seraphim!!!

45 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

So, I won't form an opinion about this situation for many years, after all of the hoopla has died down, and the truth filters out through all of the cheap thrills slag.

And I sympathize with Meghan and Harry. As a result of this media frenzy, people think it is ok to pick them apart and hate them and insult them. I don't think it's ever justifiable to fling hatred upon other people. I can't stand it and I won't be part of it.

Yes... I want to see how it all plays out 10, 15, or 20 years from now.  Very interested in a way, but then distracted with life enough that I forget about them and the drama or what the media has really said. 

6 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Don’t forget the UK public paid 30 million pounds for her wedding and she says oh no no no I am not going to be a civil servant in a tiara. 🙄

 

If she hadn’t married Harry she would still be a nobody. 

It seemed like so many people hated her before that though.  I get it that people would be upset they didn't uphold their duties or wanted to change/challenge protocol so much.  I don't know that much about it, but when it was really bad (after I guess they'd announced they weren't going to be royals anymore) I did feel sorry for them.

Also... I did notice she had only her mom at the wedding, and her poor mom just looked so alone and out of place.  Made me also feel sorry for her/them in that way.  It didn't seem like she had a great support system or upbringing.

This is one place I think is ok for newly divorced men to go and get some support.  There are others if you search around online.  Also there are male-oriented books on realigning your life to the new reality.  Very helpful!

But here's a good start I think https://www.artofmanliness.com/

On 12/13/2020 at 11:05 AM, Seraphim said:

Yeah, looking at the layout is giving me a blinding headache within 5 minutes every time.  And it doesn’t matter what layout phone or iPad .  So I can’t say I want a blinding headache every day .  There are just some things my brain and eyes just refuse to process .  And I guess this type of forum layout is just one of them . Sad, but nothing I can do. 

I am also irritated we weren’t told the forum was going to move. As I said I don’t process change well. Mine to delio with I realize. But I HATE HATE HATE change , it causes enormous anxiety and I have more than enough right now. 

The whole layout doesn’t fit my physical and mental and emotional  needs and as close as I am to  cliff right now it is not wise to push beyond what I can bear. So most likely I will be back in short bursts at times, it might be all I can do due to visual processing. 

 

Don't feel alone, it hurts my brain, too, somehow.  Very unpleasant feeling looking and trying to type. Maybe it's the brightness?

I'm SO happy for you with your husband being back.  I'm sure there's an adjustment period where you all have to figure out how to live life again together, but I'm so glad you're happy and that he's home!

This is where my son has huge issues along with sensory processing.

This makes so much sense with things our son has troubles with... like unzipping a jacket. Something that I don't think a neurotypical child would have so much anxiety and stress over, he does, and then even when I help him to figure it out, it's still something he can't let go of easily and he teeters on the edge of a meltdown, even though he was able to get it off and do the task.... It's like his brain gets overwhelmed by things (the executive function process) and then can't even understand himself why it's bothering him because it lasts long after the event.

Thanks for posting this, she explains things very well.

Test was negative!

 

I'm so relieved, mainly because I would have felt awful if I had it and spread it to my brother, nephews and my nephew's girlfriend. Also my son and his spouse.

 

Huge weight off of my mind.

 

Thanks for the good wishes!

 

Now hoping my cousin is well enough to go home soon.

Glad you're ok!!!!

Turns out this Rob guy is not a creep. He's actually a really nice guy. Last weekend (not this past one), he helped me get my cost estimate together. I got to know him a little better. He's a new hire (as suspected), and a grandfather. He called me "kid" once, which I liked: "Don't worry, kid. We'll get this done." Nice guy. Just very chatty.

LOL I was kind of worried... the way he had contacted you before did sound creepy.

And that's fascinating about your friend that's not really a good friend, and sad . It's good you don't let her bother you, like the duck-bill analogy, she can't really do anything so her actions just kind of look petty or ridiculous.

On a more serious note... if you plan to stay with S, he can have his mom placed somewhere. It doesn't sound like it's physically healthy to be around her, even for him!

He shouldn't be the caregiver, in other words. He can do right by her (have her taken care of), and still have her live somewhere else when that time comes.

My husband's parents are abusive to each other, too, and it's REALLY awkward being around that.

S's parents have been in town over the holidays. Mom 81 uses a walker. Dad 87, frail, hard of hearing, COPD.

S keeps 2 recliners in the spare bedroom to bring out in the living room for their visits. S's home is tiny. Due to his parents limitations they basically only get out of the recliners to eat and return.

 

S had a brother and at 20 he passed away. Needless to say he is super close to his parents, but ultimately the week long visit is super challenging and draining. I remind him when they're gone he'd wish he had these moments back.

 

S's mom is a force to be reckoned with. They live a pretty isolated life 5 hours away. Mom has a HUGE personality and will talk at you until your ears bleed. I don't mind the first couple days, but much like other visits I have my limit.

 

The problem is her stories are mainly reliving every conflict she's ever experienced throughout her entire life. Raising her voice and growling to point you want to wince (but don't)

 

Last night, amongst them - 45 yr past little league stories.

"G*d dam it!! you won't treat my son that way!! You SOB!!!". . and so on

 

S's son and gf are present for dinner but her eyes and focus are directed at me 100% of the time. I look around. Everyone's eyes on their plates.

 

All meals S is cooking. 3×7 days, 21 meals. He hides in the kitchen and I'm alone w them. I show up, he disappears.

 

Most of all, she's speaks abusively to her husband. He's hard of hearing and very forgetful. If he dares to chime in and try to participate, she interrupts him, corrects him, mumbles disgust under her breath and rolls her eyes. I calmly defend him. " Sandra, he didn't hear that" He looks further confused, she doubles down with something else insulting.

 

It happens every visit. I spend maybe 4 to 5 evenings with them and by the 3rd or 4th I can feel the life run out of me and I abruptly make an excuse and leave.

 

I had planned on taking a day off yesterday, but S calls and he's cooking dinner for 6 of us. I could have said no, but didnt. I was drained, shut down and quiet.

 

Mom's wound up, viscously yelling stories through out the meal and barks at her husband. I bolted from the table, started doing dishes, circled the table clearing plates one by one and when the table was clear I excused myself and left to go home.

My departure was less than subtle.

 

Pretty sure having been in abusive relationships, I just cannot sit in the middle of it. That and being an introvert, I'm easily flooded and overwhelmed. But for them, this is their normal. At some point I start to feel violated ( sarcasm )

 

The bigger picture is she'll outlive her husband and her son will need to retrieve her, bring her home and/or find a place to keep her. 3 1/2 years together, S and I no future plans on living together for obvious reasons.

 

He loves his Mom but he's a different person around her. All 3 men, dad, son and grandson all keep their head down and don't speak around her.

 

Probably explains why I'm her target. That and I know she likes me. She wanted to send a check for $200 for my birthday. I caught wind she might do it and I told her not to. She sends me $199.99. I never did cash it. It just felt inappropriate and it made me feel indebted or pressured in some way.

 

They leave on Tuesday and I have one last commitment with all of them this afternoon.

The resistance I feel to go is overwhelming.

 

They'll be back the end of December

Oh my God that sounds so awful! I laughed several times reading this because it just paints such a crazy picture... but I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.

Why are family members sometimes so nutty?!?! I don't get it. Like... it doesn't' have to be that way. You can just be nice. Or simple polite and civil.

Why on earth are people crazy?! It only makes life harder than it needs to be in my opinion....

I read through all of this the other night and ugly-cried. Ugh Seraphim.... Hugs...

So graphic, so pertinent

 

"“Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you. There is an undeniable mind-body connection. Your arguments and hateful talk can land you in the emergency room or in the morgue. You were not meant to live in a fever of anxiety; screaming yourself hoarse in a frenzy of dreadful, panicked fight-or-flight that leaves you exhausted and numb with grief. You were not meant to live like animals tearing one another to shreds. Don't turn your hair gray. Don't carve a roadmap of pain into the sweet wrinkles on your face. Don't lay in the quiet with your heart pounding like a trapped, frightened creature. For your own precious and beautiful life, and for those around you — seek help or get out before it is too late. This is your wake-up call!”

― Bryant McGill"

https://bryantmcgill.com/about/

WOW That is a brilliant quote, LH.

How interesting... I've never seen anxiety this way, but perhaps it's a warning sign something isn't right?

Sherry I lost my first cousin to cancer who was also such a dear friend over 15 years ago -this week -her funeral was on her wedding anniversary (only married a few years). My son's middle name is named after her. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

And thank you Pippy, same to you-doing ok -eating ice cream right now so......

Wow Batya that is tragic. I'm so sorry.

It's also because today was the day I lost my best friend to cancer and so my heart feels a little bit heavier today. It's so odd to think back to how it all went 3 years ago, and to be honest, I force myself to skim over it, because it's too much to think about. It's still too hard.

 

We had an update on the restrictions, still no lockdown and it is playing a game of risk. Basically counting on people to be responsible, and if they're not...we will be up sheet creek in 2 weeks time. It really is playing with fire and I can hardly breathe. But I am going to look for the good, stay off the news articles, keep my stress down and distract.

It's no good to think of worst case scenarios and go with it. Who knows, things might settle down in 2 weeks. I mean, people aren't completely hopeless.

 

Pippy, I replied to you, love. Try to rest, today is a bit of a rough day. You know where to find me xxxxxxx

I'm so sorry Sherry. It makes me anxious, too, if I read too much about the numbers increasing (I knew it probably would anyway in the Fall... viruses are easily to catch in this season).

Something that helps me is to just accept there's probably going to be a second lock down in most places (isn't Europe already experiencing that in some areas?). I try to just accept this could happen, and then let it go and just live life as I would normally.

The morning will come too soon and another plane will carry you away. If I counted our days apart it would be years. Each time is harder. We are part of the same soul. ❤️

That is SO romantic!

What is your secret to keeping the romance alive while he's gone? I've always wondered how that works out long-term. Is it the whole, "absence makes love grow fonder," thing?

Coronavirus fatigue is real. I am so there and over it. Between coronavirus and losing my dad and hubby being away.....my mood is flagging . I have had a TN flare and now shoulder injury for a week. I haven’t had my clonazepam prescription for three days I guess my doctor is taking his sweet old time to get it to the pharmacy. Yesterday my son lost his mind and went into meltdown and said he wanted to kill himself if this shyte didn’t stop.

 

I. AM. DROWNING.

Oh wow Seraphim, I just now saw this. I'm so so sorry, this puts your other thread into even more perspective of how hard things are without medicine etc.!

I do think though... just watching how my parents have to deal with my brother when he goes into scary episodes... I think you have to have tough love and really lay it down for them that you will not tolerate something inappropriate.

It is inappropriate to threaten to kill yourself. He could be picked up by the police and put in a psyche hold for three days (that's what happens to my brother if he tries that sh*t on my parents). It's ok if he needs help, but to threaten it and make you crazy yourself, it's not appropriate and tell him you WILL take him SERIOUSLY and call the police and have him picked up.

BUT ... maybe you don't feel safe with the police ? They should be trained to deal with autistics, but there have been several horrible accidents where they end up shooting them. So I totally get it if you feel like this isn't an option.

Wow that is a lot of stress though! I would definitely have my anxiety kicking in and making life harder.

Can they let you get updated software programs to make things faster, since they seem to expect you to deal with the changes and still hit original deadlines? If it were me, I'd probably ask for the updated programs I'd need, or at least suggest it as a possibility in the future.

I am ready to throw every form of social media into the trash.

Seriously though, you may be happier without them! Personally I love not having to see everyone else's opinions of politics and conspiracy theories anymore It's so freeing!

Wow, it all sounds very complicated and yes, very stressful and anxiety producing when you know you still have that far to go. But you sound like you communicated perfectly. And on your old boss thank goodness you're not there anymore!

Yes, I agree, this boss sounds nice and easy to communicate with. Good luck!