maritalbliss86

5 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Absolutely. And her daycare buddy is sweet and gentle. And she smacked her 3 year old buddy too and he cried because his feelings were hurt . 

Ugh that's sad for the other ones!!!!  Part of why I'm glad I watch mine myself is because they aren't getting hit/bitten etc. in daycare.  I get it that it makes them tougher, but ugh!!!!  I want my babies to be cuddled and loved by me at this stage!

6 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Even though we were only moments from facing a barrage of paintballs, Ed had reached the limit of his patience. He'd shot himself in his own foot to find out what being was shot like 😂😂😂😂

 

Sometimes I just DO NOT UNDERSTAND men LOL 😂🤷‍♀️😂

But I love the entertainment though!!!! 😂❤️

4 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Toddler issues toddler issues. One of my toddlers has a BEAST of a temper . Yesterday she throat punched and grabbed another daycare buddy by the neck and slapped me in the face. She has ALWAYS had a ferocious temper even at 7 months old. 

True 2 is a time of big feelings and she is going to be a big sister in a month but I fear for that baby. 

She had time out yesterday for the first time and MAN was she indignant! 

Wow!!!!  It constantly amazes me how different children can all be from each other!

Our first was fairly violent like that, but he got a million times easier after about age 3.  He was HARD though... mostly due to his temper and the fits he'd throw.

The middle two just weren't like that.  The 2nd was our Viking child and he was super easy going until about age 3 when tantrums or meltdowns finally hit.  Now he occasionally has a meltdown that's pretty big, but I can calm him down fairly fast.

Our 3rd, our beautiful daughter, was somewhat high maintenance in needs as a baby (fed a ton more and less easy going than our second), but was gentle and sweet and very loving even as a baby.  She's only now getting into an attitude phase we're having to correct at age 3 1/2.  

And then our last, 4th baby... he's high maintenance as far as his needs go, AND he sometimes has a little temper.  Not as bad as our oldest had at his age, it's more in a cute way.  

But WOW can they all be extremely different!

8 hours ago, luminousone said:

But - I think there are so many eyes on this - internationally- that I think that it is likely safe enough. I am trusting my doctor, my ER doc friend, and my other medical friends and relatives (one of whom works at the CDC). 

Yes... my mom asked me recently if my old workplace was working on this one so I looked it up, and they are, but they've only been given 200,000.  That's nothing compared to their old contracts of 18 million plus.  I think their bad ethics finally must have caught up with them.

But yes, I also think it will be, "safe enough," especially for people who need to do a risk/benefit analysis.

5 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Nah, I always do this when there's a complicated problem. Most people aren't pure evil like that. They are genuinely interested in solving problems. And even if they were evil, I'd still do it. I have to try. It has to be said. There's no way I'm going to flinch around and cower in a corner. I'd honestly rather be fired. 

Yes but being fired is not fun, even when you're right, it still looks awful. 

It's much harder to get hired again after coming to heads with bosses like this and getting fired.  People interviewing you will tend to believe there's truth in your old bosses' complaints (and don't think they won't use things like this email blow up against you I'm sure).  It's bad for your long-term game of trying to get experience and a great resume, in my opinion. 

I've found Lost's way of handling it to be better if you want to keep your job, or keep it longer and look for another one on the sly.  

1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

Yeah, she was none too pleased by that. There were probably a couple other things that it would have been better not to say. Fortunately, I didn't say anything atrocious.

I usually sleep on it before I send an email like this. But I was in a rush to get it out before the day started in full force. I had my boyfriend look it over before I hit send, and that was it. He was half asleep, poor guy. 

I'm gonna sleep good tonight!

I just don't think ... that when you're working with people like this...

that emails like that work.

It just makes them angrier. 

Even though you're right (!!!)....  The very fact that you ARE right, just makes them angrier.

I'm so sorry Jibralta... be careful though, they really may start to see you as the, "problem," and then figure out how to make your life more miserable (to make you quit) or just fire you.

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

I am and not. I have moved so so often as a kid. I have a good friend here. When I move I won’t have a daycare employee which will be hard and limit the kids I can take because I can’t do it all . I am happy to go to a bigger base and city. Also the family quarters are enclosed there unlike here that is comforting. I will also be an hour and a half closer to my mom and an hour from Toronto. But we won’t know for sure until March. 

I'm so sorry, moving is hard!  Hopefully they'll be families who can use your childcare around the base... fingers crossed!

On 1/24/2021 at 8:08 PM, Seraphim said:

It looks like I might be getting to go where I wanted to go. 
 

I am just afraid because I need to find work right away. we need both people working to pay everything. 

 

I also found a great doctor here and don’t want to have to do that search again. I will need to find a new dentist , a new vet. A new pharmacy. And new friends. Although if we’re going where I think my husband has a female friend there that I know. 

Are you excited?

I'm sorry your husband is struggling.  I'm sure working from home is hard on him!

TL.DR version 

1) Your son is smart, even most scientists are agreeing we don't know the long-term effects yet

2) It's still probably very safe for most people

3) There will probably be more than just 2 vaccines.  This may be a yearly thing like we see with the flu, and so each year may need a new vaccine corresponding to the new variant strain that mutated from the last one or two (or 3 or 4).

On 1/23/2021 at 4:15 PM, luminousone said:

This is a kid who is very bright - got As in physics and math as well as language arts.

I got all A's in my science and math college courses, minus one (genetics... got a B), but I understand him.  We're not anti-vaxxers, but I've seen the evidence of babies being loaded up with too many vaccines all at one time (death the next day) we've known people personally who that has happened to.

I also know a woman who was a doctor, her daughter got the Guardicil vaccine and became infertile and had many autoimmune disorders almost immediately afterward.  Of course all the doctors denied it could have been that round of shots, but some people just have adverse effects to the different shots, or the carrrier the shot is delivered in (there are different kinds).
 

I used to work in virology research... we developed vaccines.  My boss was incredibly unethical.  He was under constant threat of losing contracts due to his refusal to QC everything properly and yet the HR department actually told me they couldn't do anything because he literally brought in the most funding due to the high demand of the kind of research we provided for vaccines.  Your take away from that should be - there are seriously unethical people out there, in very high, seemingly untouchable places, and they control the kind of vaccine research that also gets out.  They manipulate numbers and do all kinds of things that are just insane.  I wish it wasn't like this, but I've seen this firsthand.

Before working there, I believed in vaccines 100%.  After working there, and then also after seeing people we knew personally have their babies or children get adverse affects (causing up to death!) ... obviously that did change me some.

We still vaccinate our kids though, but it's on a slower schedule and our doctor approves it.

But still... our awesome doctor recently tried to get our new baby to get 11 vaccines last time I went just a week ago... because he was behind due to COVID.  Of course I was not going to let them load him up with 11 different vaccines all at once... so instead, I let him get 5. 

But still, over the course of his childhood, he'll be receiving tons more vaccines than I got and my brother got during our childhood.  And it's still insane they actually wanted me to let him get 11 all at once!  Can you imagine a baby's body trying to process 11 different kinds of vaccines all at one time?  The reason why they want you to bring in your infant when they aren't sick or even suspected to be sick, is to avoid a massive immune response that could cause complications.  

There is such a thing as, "Bio-Overload," when a person is exposed to too much at one time, and I believe some babies (or people) can get adverse affects if their particular biology is such that they get overloaded and cause a massive immune response that can actually harm them.

You can even track the Bio-Overload effects of the virus now, when you see that people who have higher exposure to it (doctors, nurses, etc), end up having much more severe cases due to how much they were literally over-exposed to the virus.  Their bodies experienced bio-overload and couldn't deal with the necessary immune response to combat it.

Overall, the vaccine is probably safe for most people, but he's right that we don't know the long-term effects yet.  In our city, they're even asking for people who have gotten the first vaccine to allow themselves to be tested and monitored for a long time to see what will happen.  The people who get it first, they're are guinea pigs to some degree.  Our city is upfront that they want to monitor them in order to study the research we'll gain from what happens to them longterm.  

And I'm sure there's going to be more than just 2 vaccines.  I think they're going to roll out (in the future) a 3rd and 4th vaccine, even if it's just to combat the different variants.  

We're basically going to be facing probably a new strand (or two) each year, like the flu virus, and there will probably be a new required vaccine each year to keep cases down, but that's just me hypothesizing.

2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

We don't have meeting after meeting, though. I'm lucky if I can get a meeting.

3 hours ago, indea08 said:

I think Indea08 is implying an informal, "meeting."  Even if it's just in your head, rehashing things, you're having a meeting after the meeting kind of thing (it's abstract thinking).

I believe Indea08 is saying that it's not helpful in the longrun to rehash this drama or dwell on it.  It is what it is, and it sucks kind of thing.  Try to find ways to work around it without, "reliving it," by having a meeting after the meeting.

1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

Good conversation, patience, and perseverance will get me where I need to be.

That's great!  Just don't let the physical and mental side of the stressors get to the point where they're affecting your overall health.  It takes a toll on the body long-term, literally shortens your telomeres on your strands of DNA, causing premature aging.  If it gets to the point where you can't cope with the stress, it's healthier to jump ship again I think.  Just my 2 cents though!

2 hours ago, maritalbliss86 said:

I'm not sure what do about that yet, because it's not a reaction that I can control

I just meant that maybe even if you find a new one (?) they may could help you know what to do about the physical side of this, help you be able to control it more, and the anger side, and get to the point where you have that, "power," that Lost does, that you said you want.  [Edited to add - I've personally experienced that kind of thing, where it gives you a totally new perspective and suddenly you feel liberated and don't have those physical side effects anymore, or anger anymore because you have a new perspective on it, at the very least not at all to the degree you're experiencing now.]

But I could be wrong... I'm sure you understand yourself far better than I do! 😉

3 hours ago, Jibralta said:

I've also learned to recognize when the stress affects me physically. I usually feel it in my stomach, a grinding feeling not unlike hunger. I'm not sure what do about that yet, because it's not a reaction that I can control

See, I think this is why it'd be good to go to therapy for these feelings. Because they're affecting you physically, emotionally, and psychologically - all interconnected. 

3 hours ago, Jibralta said:

This is the power that I desire! Where is it?! Why can't I stop fighting back?

I know a good therapist would be able to give you that power to disengage and still feel confident.  I'm not sure journaling here will have the same effect.

27 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I'm definitely willing to put up with crap in order to accomplish what I want to accomplish. But maybe I can be more effective in making things easier for myself. I'm just sick of being frustrated.

I think a therapist that was really good, that you vented to weekly, could help you with this.  

30 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

Any ideas on how to cope with my bosses and deal with my frustrations if I decide not to leave?

Therapy? 😂

3 hours ago, mylolita said:

Strike me down, I have never worn a mask throughout this whole thing. I completely disagree with it. Don't listen to me, look it up for yourself how useful they are, just look into how big a virus particle is, you can then do the math, but explanations aside, what has been keeping me feeling human still, still like myself still, I fear is going to now be completely stripped away from me. Talks of Government crack downs on masks and track and trace which I find insanely sinister then teamed with this rushed through vaccine which they now seem hell bent in having absolutely everyone take, not just the old or the at risk.

I love your journal!  So honest about the trials and tribulations of motherhood!

Ok ... so I worked in virology for awhile, studied it a ton while in that environment so I could understand better what was happening in the research etc.

Masks suck, they just do.  They provide some protection, but you are right that the virus can still go and get through. 

When I worked with ebola and marburg viruses (very deadly and dangerous!) we wore NASA suits from head to toe!  A f*cking mask would never help with those!  Everyone who has a brain knows that.  Masks are about control. Period.  They do help some, but most people would get COVID even with a mask. 

All virologists who are HONEST know this. 

Random people walking around, they're in fear and probably haven't studied or worked with viruses so they honest to God believe the mask will protect them.  

Then there are studies that showed the bacteria in your mask can get into your lungs and cause horrific problems or death that way.  The masks, wearing unclean or used ones, it's actually dangerous.  We know that scientifically.  The population of people wearing them do not know that, or maybe they wonder about it, but hope their mask is still clean enough.

1 hour ago, reinventmyself said:

We have essential staff going into the office(s)  Regular staff sometimes has a need to go in. They notify me and I calendar it.  Why? so essential staff is aware and for workers comp reasons. 

I posed this very question. Does staff need to report covid positive cases to HR?  99% of the staff is not going into the office, so if they've never been in in 9 mos', come down with Covid, it's not spread or communicable throughout the office.  One would think it's not our companies business.  Not to mention being strictly HIPPA compliant.  Though this HR person told me the state requires staff to report it regardless, I get the sense she wasn't entirely convicted about what she was telling me.

I don't know about your boss or the state you live in.  And I'd be very concerned about terminating staff who got sick.   It reeks of wrongful employment practices in so many ways.  I hope he has a good attorney.

 . . and were they laid off or fired?  Makes a difference. $$ Boss would be on the hook for unemployment if he laid them off.  Firing them is a chicken sh*t way out, but he puts a target on his back for wrongful termination.  It's actually against the law to terminate employment when someone is on medical leave. 

I've personally seen employers get away with a lot, at least in our area.

One friend I know was fired because she tried to breast pump during her very short breaks (worked 12 hours as a nurse in a hospital).  She never was compensated or won wrongful termination.

31 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

It is definitely insane. I really hope they don't get away with it. 

I think when people act like that, eventually it catches up with them.  Hopefully it does in this case.  Hopefully at least one of those employees goes after the company (it'd be easier if they all banded together to do it though).

But the company may get away with it, because they're going to come out strong that the employees were irresponsible (even if not true!).  People have been fired for much less, and society seems to take the COVID thing very seriously and that encourages harsh punishments for people who even seem to be acting irresponsibly.  

The company could make the case that if they don't make an example of these people, that more employees will act irresponsibly, affecting their success as a company.

That's good.  I hate shopping in the store sometimes.  I didn't used to get so much anxiety from it, so I don't even understand it really where it comes from, but I've had that horrible feeling of almost passing out before.  Not fun!  

On 1/5/2021 at 4:55 PM, Seraphim said:

At my grocery store now only one family member can shop, so that is me because of the daycare . I had a panic attack so bad I almost fainted. 
 

I can’t deal right now. Just can’t . 

Oh wow I'm so sorry that happened to you.  

Can you get your groceries delivered?  

2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Where I once would have relied on courtesy, I find myself impatiently plowing through people, unwilling to wait my turn--because if I wait, it never comes. I'm either invisible, or some *** tries to steal it from me. I just feel much more aggressive and it's not entirely comfortable. 

I found the workplace, at least where I was, seriously cut-throat for women!  It was ridiculous!

There were two older women I found who were kind, and mentored me into some success, but some of the ones around my age, and some of the men, were just horrible to work with.  And this was a really professional place.  You'd think professional behavior would be the norm and encouraged, but it seems like it's rare to find a workplace where everything goes smoothly and communication is direct and easy.  I haven't had much time exploring that, but even just seeing my husband's work, and how he manages different attitudes and craziness, I've come to that conclusion from watching his work environment for over a decade also.  

I've become friends with a few of the women he loves working with, many of them are awesome and all of ones we're friends with are hard workers (as per what he sees and knows). 

But one time we had another person over, and they wanted to talk badly about one of the women coworkers... without merit really, they were just offended she had stood up for something (at work and pertaining to work) and been firm about it.  If that had been a man, he probably would have been more respected I think, but it earned her a reputation with at least this one person, as being b#tchy, even though we both KNOW she's not like that normally (and he's worked with her a lot).  

So I can see how the workplace would be hard overtime to not get more resentful toward things like that.  

Mr. Offender LOOKS like he has an attitude problem.  LOL 

Whoa the format changed on one of your replies!!!!!!  Wow!!!!

I love the emojis and the reaction options, but I still don't exactly enjoy this format LOL

Cute cats!!!!  

We had a psycho cat once... it was really sad, actually, because she was so mean, she was never happy.  She would come up and just bite me on the foot, very randomly and for no reason.  I've never had another cat behave that way.

Once I got pregnant with our oldest, my husband and I didn't feel safe with the thought of her being around a baby or little kid, so my parents helped us find her a farm to live at where she gets to catch mice for her keep.  

My mom thinks she saw her (they go there for feed or used to at least when they still had animals that needed that) and said she looked very happy and proud of herself, like she owned the farm LOL.