maritalbliss86

2 hours ago, maritalbliss86 said:

See to me you already risked being fired by trying to confront the people at your workplace and trying to get them to correct their own psycho-reactions.  The pay cut was punishment for that, which I kind of saw coming and warned you way back in Jan or Feb that you could eventually get fired with people like this, if you are confrontational.  It just IS.  You really have to keep your head down sometimes and just get out.  

I mean, it feels good (sometimes) to confront, but you don't win that way. 

I think sometimes... winning is walking away (silently) and letting someone else deal with that crap

I should add there's a caveat to this, you can only go so far until you have to speak out.

When the stake is human life, being an idealist, speaking out, is a good thing:

12 hours ago, dias said:

You don't need a lot of exercise to shed some pounds. 30-45 minutes walk everyday is enough. Then you need to fix your diet and replace trigger foods with low calorie dense foods. If you can stick to this, it is as guaranteed as Newton's laws that you will lose weight. 

Yes, I do think an underactive thyroid makes it a lot harder... studies have shown you don't even begin burning calories until after 27 minutes... so I literally have to work out twice as hard as a regular person if I want to stay fit (not fair LOL)!  

But you're so right about the trigger foods!  For some reason mine are spaghetti noodles, its such a trigger food that I can eat way too much of it like a crazy person, so I replace it with spaghetti squash and that works great

34 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

Irrational people making decisions, and having irrational expectations, make me irrational lol.

I think that's a normal response though.  You're not supposed to be, "OK," with crazies running things and running them into the ground, being unethical etc.  If you were ok with that, then it'd be an indicator something was wrong with you (and there isn't).

That's why I think it's wise to try to recognize environments like that, decide what you want to get out of it (your end goal), and then make an actionable plan.  But you've done that!!!  You're doing great!

I think I've slowly learned this with my husband's family (and thank goodness he's learning it too!).  

You can't fix them by being nice and trying to bring up things you don't like, boundaries, etc.  It actually makes them angrier.  The best thing sometimes is to quietly walk away or stop responding until they get the message that way.  Believe it's called being as boring as a grey rock... so that they get bored with you and move on to something else finally.

57 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

There's a level of fear there, that something bad will happen if I don't work harder. I think that comes from growing up with such unpredictable parents. There was nothing I could do to avoid that chaos, and I was penalized for trying to resist. That didn't stop me from resisting, but it added a heavy layer of unpleasantness and fear to the whole process of doing right by myself.

Even writing about this fills me with a deep sense of anxiety. The sensation is literally like water filling a balloon, causing pressure within, pushing the walls outwards, stretching them thin. Dark, heavy water, pushing out the air. Ugh.

Yea... it becomes an attachment style like fearful avoidant or anxiously working harder, sometimes they kind of blend into each other I think.  My husband definitely has bits of each, but at least he works hard to get through them.  They only really crop up in stressful situations or with his family (due to the emotional, verbal and physical abuse making him very fearful avoidant on some things).

59 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I think what I have to do is practice, and see what happens. I have to not work harder and find out if it results in some ultimate consequence, like getting fired. Feels like a big risk. But it's either risking the phantom 'ultimate consequence,' which may only exist in my childhood imagination, or sacrifice my peace of mind, which actually is in legitimate peril right now. 

See to me you already risked being fired by trying to confront the people at your workplace and trying to get them to correct their own psycho-reactions.  The pay cut was punishment for that, which I kind of saw coming and warned you way back in Jan or Feb that you could eventually get fired with people like this, if you are confrontational.  It just IS.  You really have to keep your head down sometimes and just get out.  

I mean, it feels good (sometimes) to confront, but you don't win that way. 

I think sometimes... winning is walking away (silently) and letting someone else deal with that crap.

On 4/3/2021 at 10:54 PM, luminousone said:

Now is not the time to push for “achievement “. We have to get through the pandemic, and then we can begin to pick up the pieces.

I guess I have mixed emotions about all of it (who doesn't right?).  I have a friend who is a school nurse who has a daughter who is supposed to graduate this year.  Apparently her daughter was so depressed last year after the lockdown (her junior year) that she couldn't get out of bed a lot of the time... they couldn't get her to do her online classes, but instead of failing or having to redo that year, they passed her.  

The school nurse said a lot of students are doing that, basically failing but still being passed by the school... but I think the main concern for people is that they aren't actually learning much when they're so depressed and unmotivated.  I'll have to ask more how they actually know 75% are failing if they're not testing.  And then what is going to happen to those kids?  Are they going to keep passing them anyway?

We've homeschooled for a few years now, so we're not really affected at all by this, except for the fact that these kids are my kids' peers and we care in that sense about what happens to them.  It's still scary to think about all the kids that aren't learning, their parents who have watched them become depressed and unmotivated at school (and can't help because they have to work), or all the kids who have fallen off the grid so to speak in our poor areas where the teachers have lost all contact with students for over a year.  Our city just made an effort to send teachers out to some of those areas to try to check on those kids that feel off the grid.  Not sure how many they were able to really contact, but there's no doubt it feels like a desperate situation, especially for the poor or underprivileged.

I get it that some are excelling though, even with virtual learning.  One of our nephews are doing great even though his school is just sending take home packets every Monday (they don't' have access to computers in that area for all the kids... it's a very impoverished town and area).  So he's doing great because he sets his own pace and can get everything done on Monday and Tuesday, and have the rest of the week off.  That's mostly how we do our homeschool... I let the kids understand if they get their stuff done on time or early, we have more time to have play days and go out to parks etc.  So I understand for some, it's going great!

Just seems devastating to think about how many may be negatively affected, and then wondering for how long?  My gut feeling tells me there will be more lockdowns, more and longer periods of kids out of school.  Sooo many are transitioning over to homeschool, but then I've seen pushback that homeschool doesn't have enough government oversight, etc.  The whole thing seems just so frustrating.

Interesting about your Ed, too.  What makes a man hang on for soooo long?  I don't really understand it, and it makes me wonder if women aren't like that as much... if it's more of a guy thing to get so hung up on one person, and for decades.

LOL My mom is also a busy-body on facebook... always keeping me up with people I've lost touch with.  

Sometimes I like it, and sometimes I think to myself, "Yea... that's kind of why I (purposefully) lost touch with that person, Mom... you don't have to tell me all of this!"  Sometimes I'd rather not know.  Ignorance really is bliss when it comes to other people's drama and weird lives I'm not interested in.

Oh well.

48 minutes ago, luminousone said:

Our state is appealing that decision, but it is not looking like they are going to let up. OMG! A lot of students are still distance learning! Tests must be done at school.

Are they doing well in your area?  A teacher friend told me that 75% of the kids in our area are failing 😞 just horrible.... 

2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

And neither does he. I've watched his interviews over and over again.

You are more committed than I am for sure! I wouldn't be able to do that I think over and over again!

2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

but ultimately reptilian. He's even able to make you laugh when he talks about some of the blunders he made while trying to kill girls. So disarming--and that's calculated. He is a student of persuasion. 

I understand, and I'm sure you're right, I still believe people aren't born that way... I think monsters are created.  

Everyone has a choice, so he made the choices he made, instead of fight against it, but I still don't think he was literally born evil. 

Evil is usually (in my opinion) a series of choices... with each choice taking you further in that direction toward more and more evil.

Oooo something else... I haven't seen that new movie of the Joker, but he seemed to fit that profile of a man who had an abusive mother (whom he thinks really took care of him), and then when he finds out I believe, just how horrible his childhood actually was, he breaks psychologically and becomes a murderer/the Joker.

Apparently in the psyche paper documents he stumbles upon of his childhood was that he was chained, as a child, to a generator so that he couldn't get away from his mother's boyfriends who would violently and horrifically abuse and torture him.

That is the experience of  A LOT of male children these days.  One of the reasons why that movie did so well, was because it explored what a lot of people don't want to talk about.  What happens to little boys and girls who have moms who let their boyfriends do that to them?  

And I'll keep saying it... this is only increasing.

And all of the adults knew what was going on, that his mom was turning into Satan with her own children, but no one stepped in... no one saved her kids from that.  My mom was 12 so she was limited and also came from an abusive family.  Her thinking is that abusive parents protect each other... they see themselves as victims of their children's behavior.

On 3/21/2021 at 2:28 PM, Jibralta said:

The destruction of things that people care about... That's the flame that Ed Kemper meticulously, secretly, deliberately, and methodically found a way to fuel throughout his life, until he could destroy and desecrate the MOST cared about things: human beings.

It's curious you can't seem to see that he actually was destroyed and desecrated himself probably from infancy in a multitude of ways from his own mother.  I've known men like that, but that acted out by making themselves into male prostitutes, destroying and humiliating their bodies as a vent from their childhood.

One was a distant cousin.  His mom was like the wife of satan (according to my mom, who saw her beat him regularly as an infant!!!).  Of course the abuse never really stopped.  I found a picture of him a few years ago when I think he was a teen and his eyes look so tortured.

These men (or women) were destroyed, desecrated, as infants sometimes.  And yes, that does create more crime and violence or destruction of society on down the line. 

The child abuse is only increasing. [Edited to add... child abusing is also increasing due to failed first marriages, as step-parents abuse their step-kids even more than natural parents do... even if they're just a boyfriend or girlfriend.  So the decline of healthy, stable marriages and families contributes to more child abuse overall.]

On 3/21/2021 at 2:28 PM, Jibralta said:

the fact that Ed, and others similar to him, already have this massive evil inferno burning inside them when they are born.

Most people who are abused, abandoned, and/or frustrated do not turn to violence. But people like Ed feast on those things. They draw on the pain and chaos around them to fuel the flames of their own fire. They don't want to control their fire or extinguish it. They want their fire to destroy. They are driven by it

Actually I think a lot of kids who are abused, have absent fathers etc. turn to crime and violence as a way of, "venting," their deep anger and rage at what was allowed to happen to them.  

It's so tragic!!  And there's no answer, as it's only increasing at a rapid speed, at least in our country.

But that's the normal for kids who are abused, it really is.  It may not be crime or violence, but they'll turn to other things to help... drugs, different sexual preferences that harm their bodies, self-harm in various ways... that's all fairly normal, even from verbal abuse.

And abuse mysteriously causes health problems, due to the people who don't act out, internalizing all of that anger, rage, etc. at what happened to them... they explode in a myriad of health issues around middle age.  

They never really get away from the effects unless they heal from them spiritually (in my opinion).

But all that abuse goes into their bodies and has to find a way out like a vent.  When it doesn't, science knows it then goes through that person's organs and literally destroys them at a chemical level.

22 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Excited to get a pedicure tonight . 

I love self-pampering   I rarely ever do it, but it's so much fun to do a little self-care ❤️  Happy Birthday to your Mom!

2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Oh God no, no time for that. I usually have 2% Greek yogurt with Splenda and tea. I have hated breakfast most of my life and didn’t eat it from the age of 13 to 52.

I'm a morning person lol, so I have sometimes gotten up at 4am in effort to have more, "me," time in the morning  , but I get it, not everyone wants to do that 🙂

Yogurt is great for breakfast, but don't be afraid of full-fat.  Full-fat dairy has shown to help women lose weight faster ironically... the lower fat or no-fat doesn't promote weight loss as effectively when tested for that.

And if you're worried about stabilizing your blood sugar, oatmeal is like a miracle worker for that ❤️ even if you add it to your lunch as a side or something, you may want to try it and see if you feel better during the day.

10 hours ago, Seraphim said:

My blood sugar dropped massively today and I almost fell off my chair because I was light headed. I quickly ate half a banana and felt much better. I ate a lunch meal much higher in sugar than normal . I had tomato soup. Now feeling much better. Much! 
 

I booked my Diabetic appointment for April 21. 

Wow!  Do you usually eat a good breakfast?  Something that helps is eating a high protein and fat breakfast like eggs and avocados or something similar, with a bowl of a healthy carb like oatmeal (sweetened with honey or sugar...).  I know you're doing Keto right?  This would still be a great breakfast that will help you set your blood sugar for the day.

The high protein/fat will help balance you out (and it also dramatically curbs anxiety which is a little odd, but works) and then the oatmeal stabilizes blood sugar by default.

58 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

It is interesting how big calamities change society. 

I think it's alarming in a way, that teaching kids the Bubonic Plague was a good thing, something to be encouraged or replicated to help the land, air, etc. "heal."  I've never heard those ideas before, but it fits in line with this new great reset the W.E.F. is pushing.

17 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Enter COVID. Maybe I am not far off. 

There will probably be more, 'Covids,' based on what has been said and known for years now.  

Also intriguing is what happened after the Bubonic Plague.  Historically, socially, and economically, it was a, "Great Reset," a redistribution of wealth since so many died... peasants were able to demand higher wages (according to how history views it now) because people were so desperate for workers after 1 in 3 people were killed.  Farmers lost their farms, people who hadn't owned anything were able to move into estates and farms, and claim it for themselves, a new type of nobility emerged in some places as these peasants took over, resetting society in a way, because of the sheer amount of death - there was no one left in some of those rich houses etc.  Historians are also starting to view the Bubonic Plague as having a cleansing affect on the land... the farms that weren't taken over, had forests grow up over them.  The land, "was able to heal," is how they're reframing this now... the same as what those calling for the great reset are saying about our cities during lockdown.  They put out one video claiming our, "cities were able to breathe."  It's in lock step with what happened before, or at least, how they're viewing it now.  The Black Death, the pandemic that killed 1 out of every 3 persons, is viewed in a utopic and positive light by historians now, the chance for higher wages, the chance for a redistribution of wealth among peoples (the poor taking over the uninhabited places of the rich), the land getting to, "heal," in their words.  People doing life, "differently," etc.

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

I went outside with my before and after kids for about an hour and a half and feel a bit better perky and more relaxed. Had a bath and now sleeping pill and bed. 

Going outside is wonderful ❤️❤️❤️  Ugh! I love the change of being outside in nature's beauty  Glad it helped you!

59 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

But I do know that his scorched-earth reaction to my comments is easily the most absurd reaction I've ever seen in my life, and I do know that something is wrong with that guy. Someone who changes the truth from moment to moment--to the point where they're actually contradicting themselves--is not a fully functioning member of society.

Yea... not able to function correctly in society... wow and that quote is scary, but it makes sense.  

I also do. not. get. the scorched-earth reactions from people like this.  It just doesn't make sense to me!  I mean it only makes their own lives harder!

My FIL is like that... and the first time I saw the reaction, it was just because he and my husband were having a sweet conversation about my husband's childhood and what kind of milk he'd liked.  It was when my husband contradicted his father, that all of a sudden the tone changed and he exploded in anger that he wasn't agreeing with him.

Over milk... !!!!

I remember thinking that I'd never seen an adult have some kind of tantrum like that.  And it did look like a tantrum.

8 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Hubby and I had a nice drive in the county. It was nice to have some undivided attention. We were making plans for when we move . Having plans A,B,C. 

That's sweet!!!  Glad he took the time ❤️  That's all we women need really.... it's not that complicated LOL

23 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

As my mom says the more you defend yourself the more guilty you look. Anyone who is innocent doesn’t need to go on and on and on and on. Anyone who is innocent just gets on with their life. She didn’t say this in response to them but many times about life in general. 

Yes, it's the whole, "Doth protest too much," kind of thing.

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

That’s another thing.... they ran away to “ be private” then be private and SHUT UP. Don’t try to be in the public eye and on every newspaper page every single day of the week. For people who so fiercely protest that they want to be private and sue everyone in sight you announce you are pregnant on the very day Diana announced she was pregnant with Harry? Really? You sue a newspaper for the sake of your privacy and then you announce your pregnancy to 7.4 billion people??? Wha? You make sure there are pap shots of you. Etc etc ...Listen no one cares be private like you said you wanted and shut up already. Because you don’t REALLY want to be out of the public eye you just want to control how people see you for your benefit. 

Yea I don't know... on one hand it does appear nutty that if they want privacy, why are they seeking attention?  But I think they're tempted due to all the negative stories about them out there, to kind of make their success away from the Royal Family an, "in your face," kind of thing.  Like... look at us, we're having fun and we don't need you anymore," kind of thing.

Or with the interview, they're saying it's because they feel like they have to defend themselves against all the stories being spread.

Like I said though, it's unfortunate that I don't think the interview will, "work," for many people.  If anything, I think it will make many people even angrier at them.  

And if either of the elder royals happen to pass away soon, the entire UK and Common Wealth countries will blame the death(s) on them and their interview.  

I still feel a little sorry for them... they really can't, "win," this, and the more they actively try to defend themselves, it's like they're digging their own graves.

Just now, Seraphim said:

My step dad is getting vaccinated this month! Yay! I can’t see my parents until they are vaccinated. Now just to wait for my mom. 

Yay!!!  Happy for you!!!  ❤️❤️❤️