Honeycomb8

He's a literal deadweight and bum. Get this manchild out of your life -_-. 5 years in the future you'll be in the same position. Unless you want to be a sugar momma, I suggest ending things. You are an intelligent, hardworking woman that deserves to a man who is an equal, NOT this. At the same age, my father was supporting his family and doing really well in his engineering career. My mum contributed a lot as well- it's really important to find someone who's worthy of you.

Sorry but she's definitely cheating on you. 😐 Time to break up.

I've had a couple of shots of hard liquor cos I was so nervous around a guy. But keep your eyes open and don't get too infatuated BC he's a stranger.

She knew what she was saying. You are aware of the things you say when you're drunk, you just choose to deal with the consequences later. She's not a nice person, I think you should find someone else. You won't ever get over this comment and I wouldn't blame ya. It was sh it and very immature. I had an ex when I was 21 that was extremely small. Like scientifically probably a micropenis? Not at all exaggerating. I remember the first time I saw it and how absolutely shocked I was. Even though I didn't care about him I NEVER made any comments about his size. I broke up with him for other reasons but seriously...I knew if I had made one comment he would lose any confidence he had on himself when it came to sex, and I didn't want to do that to him. This girl didn't give a sht when she said those things. Being drunk is no excuse. Her comment just seems like she's really putting you in your place and that's actually pretty cruel. Also I promise you, it's not about size. Some of the best sex I've ever had was due to more how I felt about them and our chemistry than just because they were packin it.

All he wants is sex from you and makes it more than clear. He doesn't give a sht about you.

So? It doesn't matter. He lied and disrespected you repeatedly. Also he cheated on you. If he overlapped you when you guys got together.

Ignoreeee

I don't think I've ever had a bf that repeatedly made comments about other womens' looks. We can make a comment together, but it's def not much or a regular thing.

Cheating has nothing to do with looks. It speaks only of the other person and their issues.

Um. Someone that mentions a sister or friends when talking about threesomes would be an ex. ***.

Yip he has no moral compass. This guy is going to continue to hurt you in the future. :/...

He lied to you, sexually overlapped you with another girl, lied to you some more. Slept with her cos you didn't want to. Lied to you some more. He's NOT a good guy. I don't think you should continue with him.

Guys that throw fits...Aren't bf material. I used to live with an ex. He paid for the rent while I contributed towards groceries and sometimes dinners. I cooked more while he cleaned more. I feel like after 10 years it shouldn't be like this with you? He should help with chores too.

Oh yeah that sounds like something I could do. I know it won't be easy but I want to give this my best shot.

Nearly a year and four months now.

I think I'm going to dial back things and give him space. I can just do my own thing and still spend time with him as well. I'll just socialise some more and keep myself busy. Ending things would just be depressing and I know I will regret it.

Yeah that's what I was thinking that's why I haven't yet done so. I'm giving him the freedom to make his own choices.

Did anyone manage to stick through things with you?

This was very insightful. I will bring it up with him to see if he can get some medication that would work better for him.

^ nah it's nothing do with that. I am certain and he's not that type of person. To use mental health as an excuse is pretty ***ed up anyway and he's the straight forward type. If he's not keen, he would just tell me and go. Depressed people push people away. I know this and have seen it before. Hell, that's what I did. Not every person that retreats has somebody else in the background.

I'm independent, have an active social life and financially have no problems. I've always liked some space and have generally found guys to be on the clingier side actually haha. I know right now the emotional stuff and communication isn't the greatest but I still love him and hope that he will start taking his medication. I am pretty strong and I feel committed to him. You guys all raise good points and it really does help!

Yeah a heads up does make things easier. I don't believe I was with anyone serious during those times. Actually now that I think about it, for the first period I rebounded and that was a waste of time. I felt distant and wanted my own space. The second time I dated around and was emotionally unavailable. Hell I was emotionally unavailable for ages whilst being single as well, but am finally back to being myself lol. I know it's going to be hard at times, but being with him makes my heart feel really good. I haven't felt anything like this in several years. I know I can find someone who could possibly give me more attention but that wouldn't make me happy BC it's not him.

During lockdown he replies every few hours. Though there has been two occasions in the past he went a day without talking to me. We used to text a lot. We both have busy positions but we chatted through the day. You're right. I know I have to think of myself. But right now I want to stick with it. People with mental issues deserve love too don't they? His issues is just a part of him, it really doesn't take away how wonderful he is. He has so much integrity, conviction, passion and grit. He makes me want to be better as a person in so many ways. I have been going through a lot of family issues and he's been so supportive and really went above and beyond regarding that. He has many rare qualities I have yet to find in anyone else. As I said, I am not looking to walk away. I would rather stay.

There was a period we saw each other daily (before this period of bad depression) then it was three times a week. I spent a lot of time with his family too. His parents really like me and I get along very well with his mother. Before lockdown it was once or twice a week at most. We used to text a lot. Now the texting is a lot less frequent. He does a lot of extra hours for work as he has a busy career but yeah, the communication isn't like before. He says other people have left in the past BC of this issue of him being down so he wouldn't blame me if I did the same. He still tells me he loves me. He's a very straight forward person, and wouldn't be saying that if he didn't mean it.

I remember now he told me the meds don't really help. That he's tried a lot. Guess it's a case of trial and error then. 😞