Shattered_Dreams

debase - Thanks for replying to the post. *hugs* Funny you should say that, i've started playing the guitar now, (i love music). I see your point about feeloing proud when you start to get somewhere with things. Thanks for your help x x x ayekasong - Thanks for posting. I've thought about going back on to medication, but if anything it made me feel worse. Medication made me feel even more useless and pathetic. Alcohol and pot is my medicine now, not too smart on my behalf i know, but it's one of the only things that keeps me going these days. I'll do some more thinking about returning to a shrink. Thanks hun x x x *hugs* antigone77 - Firstly, i am ever so sorry to hear about your boyfriend *tight hug* It saddens me to know you've had to go through that and my heart goes out to you hun. I used to have a friend that had severe depression, but i managed to help him through it, thankfully. And none of my other friends suffer from it. Thank you for all your help, prayers and offer of a chat. Take care hun x x x thisisnotanexit - Thank you for taking the time to reply *hug* I've tried, like you said, to look forward instead of backwards. It worked for a bit, but something always jumps back and nips you in the butt. Thanks the offer of a talk, it may be needed. Thanks buddy x x x Thank you all so much. You have all been so helpful. I shall take all into consideration and try to put my depression behind me once and for all. Thanks for giving me some determination y'all. *hugs and kisses to all* I'm always here for any of you lot too. I'm only a PM away x

Thanks lostlove *sad smile* I've been considering talking to a friend about it, but the prospect of bringing it all up again for them isn't too nice. I don't wish to hurt anyone, and i know that by doing it i would, but i can't seem to shake the feelings. Last time i saw a therapist, they brought things up i had repressed without knowing, and i'd of rather they stayed repressed because when they where brought up from my blocked memory it made things worse x

I am sorry to hear of your problem. I have gone through something similar to this, apart from my friend didn't talk crap about me. Firstly, this guy appears to be no friend at all. As i see it, he's just used you. I don't mean to upset you bud, i'm just being honest. Friendship is something pure and something magical. This guy seems to have treated you so wrong. I think you need to question whether it's him you miss, or the way he made you feel??? It's always hard to leave loved ones behind, but sometimes you just have to. You'd be doing wrong by you else. So my advise is to cut your loses. Atleast you can be grateful that you even had him in your life, and you can, not forget, but move on from this and learn from it. If missing him becomes severely painful, then by all means give it another go. But if that is what you decide, then please, be careful. He sounds a bit dodgy to me. Just be true to yourself ok? Take care, i wish you luck in whatever you decide to do x x x

Hey y'all! I'm getting near to the all to well known 'rock bottom' and was wondering if any of you guys have any words of wisdom? About 2 or so years ago, i tried to commit suicide. I managed to destroy everyone around me by doing so. I realized i needed help. I had a shrink, was on anti-depressants, and spilled my guts out. Since then, everyone thinks i have moved on......truth is, i haven't. I'm not as bad as i used to be, i don't dwellon my feelings of depression, but they're still there eating away inside at the bits that are left from last time. I really don't no what to do! I've been depressed for about 3 or 4 years now and am running out of strength again. The thing is, i went through pretty much everything there is to help try and cure you, but if it didn't work last time, i am extremely doubtful it will this time around if i go through it all again. I haven't told anyone i still feel this way, i put everyone through so much pain and i am not willing to rip open they're healed wounds. I just wondered if any of you had any ideas as to what i can do? x x x