crisisback

I see my ex literally every day. Running into her in all my classes, i just sit away from her and get out of class before her. Or at least try to, i'm still not ready to talk to her. The one time i did talk to her in my discussion class (which i don't go to anymore because of the incident) I was pretty mean and wasn't myself. It ruined my day, just try to avoid the person. And if you do see them just walk away or if your in the mood just say hi and leave it at that. Don't try to talk to them until you're really ready. If your ex tries to talk to you let your ex know you're not ready to talk or your bound to do something you'll regret later.

It's been a little over a month and i've been having the same problem. My ex is in every single dream every night, ranging from main parts to very minor parts of my dream but she's still there. I guess it's normal, i'm healing, but i still dream about her. It hurts and ruins my morning, but there's nothing you can do about it except try not to think of your ex before you sleep. It hasn't worked for me, but maybe it'll work for you. In time the dreams will stop, if a person was such a large part of your life maybe your brain doesn't want you to forget about that person even though your heart does.

The whole NC thing has been working for me. Today is the first day of class and i'm probably going to see her today, ehhhh, it sucks. I had a dream about her and her new boytoy today. It woke me up early and i couldn't get back to sleep. I have myspace too, and i still have her on my list. I deleted her from pretty much everything else, AIM etc. It burns me to read her profile and see that she says she's having the best time of her life and all this other stuff. I'm thinking about removing her, but i don't want it to seem that i'm thinking too much about the whole breakup. Finding out that she was dating another guy 2 days or 1 day after we broke up devastated me for the night and next few days. In the long run, it really helped me get angry and realize what she wasn't. How i didn't deserve to be treated like this, and how two years really didn't mean she had to respect me anymore. So, yeah, i hope seeing her doesn't screw up the healing process... it must be hard to try to avoid her in your apartment everyday, don't move... it is your apartment and she can't take away anymore of your life that she already has...

I totally understand you on this one. I found out my ex was already dating someone right after we broke up.. a day or two. It totally crushed me at the time, but it has really helped me heal better. I've realized, that if somebody is going to do this to you, they really aren't worth the grief... Like the man says, have some pride in yourselves. Don't take back something that treated you horribly in the first place. It's their loss, we would have done anything for these people and they take that offer of kindness and spit it back in our faces. If they have moved on, there is no reason you shouldn't. Forget about the person, it's hard, but it has to happen. Exercise really does help. Gain back your lost confidence. Go out and live your life, dont' dwell on a person who isn't worth your time.

Hey everyone, you guys might have read my previous post about my breakup story. So it has officially been one week, well Friday to Friday at least, since we have broken up. She told me she loved me and cared and just needed to do this to find herself. My snoopy butt decided to go through her e-mail and i discover something that totally shocked me. She was already seeing another guy !!! Can you believe that, i'm here trying so hard to remain NC with her and trying to fight my feelings and urges every minute of the day and she is off having fun with another guy already. 2 days after we broke up !! Oh well, at least, now i have a reason to want to move on and leave her behind. I no longer am looking to get back together with her, i thought there was a chance before, but if someone i spent two years of my life together with can't take 2 days to reflect on our relationship after breakup she really isn't worth the pain i'm going through. It's a lot easier to remain NC after a bad breakup than a good one. Our break up was fine, and that lead me to believe that we still had a chance to get back together and that her intentions were pure. Now that i see she is really tainted i have no want to be with her anymore, i don't deserve to be treated like this. Like everyone says, we deserve someone much better. We are good people, and if people can't take our feelings into consideration, they aren't worth our time. Cheer up people, you have a new life to discover, it might be scary at times and you might want to run back to your house, but don't. Go out and make yourself the person you used to be. (i hope i feel the same way in the morning haha ) Livestrong!

Well i'm on my 6th day after the break up. When we broke up she told me she would see me today, it's not happening. I guess this is a good thing, i started the no contact thing a few days ago and last night finally broke it. She IM'd me and i couldn't stand not to talk to her so i did, and i asked her one last question before i told her i wouldn't talk to her until school started... This is basically how the convo went ChRiS : one last question before we stop talking... 3: what's up? ChRiS: i need your real, true reason for doing this... and i need to really know if you still love me... after this we won't talk till school starts, i just need time to clear up my head... please explain well 3: i already did... 3: i needed my own space and i didn't think that we were compatible for that kind of relationship 3: there was just too many differences, and i need to grow ... ChRiS : finish the answer... 3: yeah that's basically it. ChRiS: 2nd part of the question? 3: i think we're just really different people, and it wouldn't work in the long run 3: and yes i still love you, but as a friend 3: i'm sorry if that hurts you...but i'm not going to lie... 3: please don't get mad at me ChRiS : that's fine.. thanks for the answer... i guess i'll talk to you when school starts... bye 3: yeah... 3: hope everything goes well for you and all... 3: see ya I dunno, it's just so odd to go from someone loving you so much and them telling you that they do to them telling you that you're just a friend. It really hurts, i'm not sure if she's feeling the hurt that I'm feeling. We never really fought and we were always together... Anyway, any input would be appreciated. Today has started off hard... Again, if any of you guys wanna talk feel free to IM me, i need all the help i can get... Thanks

It has been a few days since that friday and i've gotten a little better. I'm falling asleep without aid of nyquil. I'm starting to eat. It was really hard but i'm forcing myself, even though it does make me want to throw up. I've also started no contact. Man is it hard, i think it's better for me though. She tries to IM me and i feel good not responding. It just hurts that her away message always sounds so happy. I mean how can you be so happy when we just broke up, am i not worth her grief? She also hasn't tried to call, which is good for me, i still wait on my cell phone, but when she does i'll be sure not to answer. I'm going to try to uphold this strict NC for a few weeks until school starts then i'll eventually have to talk to her since she is in so many of my classes. Reading all the stories on here really helps, i still hurt soooo much. But everyone, get out of the house, go have your friends help you out. It really does help. I'm still depressed and miserable, but just knowing that i'm getting better really does help. If any of you guys need to talk about this stuff, feel free to PM me, i know sometimes i need some people to talk to.

i understand how you feel.. I keep finding myself talking to my ex online or on the phone. It has only been 2 days, she also tells me she loves me but can't be with me right now, i don't understand either. I think they do care about how we're doing, but at the same time it's not healthy for us to keep this up. I'm trying to initiate this no contact thing but it's really hard to do... You just have to try

Thanks for the reply. It seems like a good number of my friends have been dumped by their girlfriends for the same reason. Maybe it's because we're going into our 3rd year and it's the second half of college, i don't know. I really love the girl and hope that she comes back to me, but truthfully, i don't know how often that happens. I still don't know if i should go no contact or talk to her every so often online, it really comforts me to hear her voice. It just hurts that it is so cold... I was speaking to her earlier and i asked her why she was acting so cold and didn't seem sad at all and she replied "well it's hard because i can't really show you i mean...i don't know..." So i don't really know what's going on. She's doing what i want to do, she's going out a lot and doesn't seem to be bothered by a break up at all. I think she's blaming her "losing all her friends" on our relationship, and now she needs to lose me to get her friends back... If she still loves me why isn't she with me? Oh well... can any of you suggest any songs to listen to... not sad i miss you songs, but it's good your gone and i'll be better. Thanks everyone... I'll check in soon... oh yeah i've lost six pounds since friday...i guess that's a good start after gaining 40 lbs during the past 2 years of our relationship. Happiness makes you eat . any suggestions on how i can get to sleep better... i'm going to try to cut out the nyquil, but sometimes it really helps the long endless nights...

Hi everyone. I was reading everybodies posts and was trying to find one that related and a lot do, but my situation is a little bit different. My girlfriend and i were going out for almost 2 years and everything was wonderful. We go to college together and have been together almost 24/7 for the time we were together (part of the problem). Everything was going great but she told me on friday that she felt she needed to "find herself" and that being in a serious relationship was preventing her from doing that. I tried to get her back the next day and bought her flowers and all this but it didn't work out. I really love her and was positive she was the one, we never really fought about anything. She told me she still loves me so much and still wants to be friends. Being friends is so comforting to me but it isn't what i want. We talk every day at least once, well for the past 2 days, and we talk on AIM. I know i shouldn't be talking but it takes the stress out of my life even if only for a few minues. I've been having to take nyquil to put myself to sleep because my nights have been so unbearable. I'm trying to get out, but even if i'm home for 10 minutes the feelings come to sync in again. I don't know how to just stop talking to her, won't it be kind of out of nowhere? Also, we share the same exact classes in the upcoming quarter with three discussions that are small classes (20 people or so) so we'll be seeing each other a lot. I don't know how i can do no contact and share class with her at the same time... This is really killing me, i love her, but she seems to want something else in life but tells me she still loves me. Oh well, it seems that i'm the only one sad about the breakup also, she talks to me but doesn't seem upset. Any advise would help.. Thanks everyone