1Mccarty

I miss her al ot. And she likes to hear about me though our mutaul friends. So there's more to it than what I can convey in a few paragraphs. Boiled down, yes she ran. But I can tell from her prose that she is thinking of me.

I asked her to go out for a drink or that I could call or come visit her at work. She replied that we need to give it more time before we can do that. And that she would like to keep in touch with me. The email was a condensation of several that we exchanged today. basically I asked if we could go out or talk. She replied she's into it and needs more time. I asked if we should keep in touch she said that is fine. I made it clear that I did not want to interfere with her situation and that I would only see her if she was not attached. To be honest I am kinda disappointed because if she would have sent this to an ex while I was dating her I would have been pissed. To me it seems that she is not very committed to the guiy she is with. To even entertain anything with me. Oh, and she is usuaully pretty straight up in dealing with stuff. So if she was objercting to ever seeing me on a romantic basis she would have masde that clear. But I think I will pass on her. Too much issues buried I think..

Oh, she's definitly interested in seeing me again.. The whole time thing goes back to conversations we had about her fear of commitment and needing time to get past her wanting to get out and date etc. She asked a while ago that I give her time, that she woukld like nothing better that to meet me again in a year, that we cannot have a life together until we get through our issues right now. The new guy? Says it is nothing serious and no commitment!

Asked the general BS how she was doing etc. then asked that we could have a drink together sometime or that I could call. She rerplied that right now is not good and that "we need a bit more time." And that she started seeing someone and "right now hold off on the phone call". She was going out to lunch but said she would like to catch up and chat. Maybe it's just benign but I wanted to see what her reaction would be and I totally expected her to say bug off as I knew she started seeing someone else recently. But knowing her as I do she seems still open to future options.

Take a break, distance, slow down, all synonyms for "I want out to see other people." Let him get it out of his system. He'll be back. I went through the same thing with a girl 2 months ago. Said she wanted to fall in love with me etc, spent great weekend and everything seemed fine. Then she broke it of. Now she is seeing someone else. But given her situation I figure that she will be back around. Hell I might even go look her up again in the didstand future but I aint waiting on her. They all come back remember that. I'm 33 and haven't had on GF that didn't come back yet. See no reason the pattern will change. Tell him to get bent when he does, Thats what I planb to do if the last one comes sniffing around.

I am in the Navy. And I can tell you right now that given this behaviour, you are in for a lot of hurt if you keep it going with him. First I can tell you that I am almost positive that the USN has the highest rates of divorce(I'm one of them) of all the service branches. Second, he will undoubtedly go on long deployments with you at home wondering where he is and what or who he is doing. My advice is to run away and forget it. Not that all Sailors are bad but we are not. Some are just out for a good time and you are being used. I hate to hear of this stuff, I see guys and girls in my squadron doing this type of thing all the time. I can give you a list as long as my arm of broken relationships. Stay away. he's not ready for what you want. There's other good guys and Sailors out there. But just one more thing. Don't judge all of us by his behaviour.

Thanx.... I had a real bad week. I guess you could say I had a nervous breakdown if there is such a thing. I was emotionally overwhelmed. Ended with severe anxiety attacks, etc. Wasn't eating or drinking. On 4 different meds by 3 different dr's. Fell asleep on the couch, went into some kind of shock. Had to have CPR via EMT to hospital in ambulance. Had acute renal failure. Ended up there for 4 days. No girl is worth that but it also stemmed from a lot of other things going on in my life. I feel horrible. Found out my ex, is seeing someone, spent the night with him 1 week after we parted. I guess everyone was right. Shes gone. Everything I thought I wanted in a woman. She told a mutual friend that I reminded her in some ways of her ex husband and that is what made her run away. She said I have issues, and I do, that need to be taken care of. I do believe that there is a chance in the distant future we might try again but at that time I or she will be involved with others. This is only the second woman I have ever been in lve with. I'm 33. It doesn't look good for me. I find myself wondering if sher is hurting or missing me, thinking of me... I guess not. I know she does try to get info from mutual friends on how I am. She wanted to call and see me in the hospital but said she didnt want to give me any false hope of us reuniting. I am in therapy now. She is the one that lost out. And the 4 psychologists that I have seen guanteed me she will come back around. I told them everything beginning to end, emails, everything. They told me she is suffering badly abd I now feel sorry for her. They say that I need to focus on myself and when she does come back around to be strong and not let her in again.

Read my post below.... We shared exactly what you did, perfection between us... Something neither oif us had ever experienced in our lives, sex, inimacy, security. She started wanting to slow down but work it out.... It ended very abruptly a week ago. She went from all this to " It will never happen and I will never fall in love with you and can never love you the way you love me.

Well I confronted her about all of this she is warped... Goes on last week telling a coworker that I'm the best that she could ever hope for and that she could fall in love with me so easily and how much of a great time she has with me etc. Then she adds that she needs me to be able to take care of her if the need arises and that she wants this and that. Then the next day she tells me shes moving on it sover etc. That she never wants me to try and contact her again that she wil not either that nothig between us will ever go past the point it has gotten to hat she loves me but not as I lve her, etc. that she cannot be th one for me. that I need to forget about her and any future chances no matter in this life or the next. She added that she hope that our paths do not cross anytime soon and that we should actively try to avoid each other in hopes that that randome meeting does not occur. This just 2 weeks since we spent a great weekend together and discussed what we felt and how she exclaimed that I could be so dangerous if there was just a few issues I would fix. All these wonderful encouraging things she would say. Now she denies that she had anything more than just a love that is not in love and all the intimacy sexually and otherwise was just her trying to be inj love because she said she really wanted to be that in love with me... I dont know I'm rambling and it is just killing me to figure this on eout. Oh, and the new guy? Just a date she says and has no intemntions of

to those who said she found someone else, you were right. I hate women and will never trust another.

well, I don't know what to do.. I feel if I write her off I will not find this again and I know I am going in circles... I don't thionk there is someone else but maybe I'm just blind.

I know thanx I appreciate it. She does act in the way that I am someone to her... But in the coming months the rubber will meet the road and I will know for sure... I am not going to let this drag me down believe me, I just want to know if I should give up on her. If I should just forget it all and not even try. Her friend told me that me giveing her this time is probably one of the best things I could do to show her that I love her and thatr she sees it as a true mark of what she wants. I don't know but I do know that I have a gut feeling that she might come around.. And I have a gut feeling she won't. I know one thing... I love her and don't want to lose her. And don't want it to happen twice..

There's a whole other issue that prevents her from getting into commitments. And being this forum is pretty annonomous I don't feel bad in revealing it is one that sticks with her for the rest of her life.. Know what I mean? The byproduct of an a-hole husband. She has had one other relationship in the 3 years she's been divorced aside from she and I. That one neither had any prospects of long term commitment, mutually. In our discussions she revealed that she never even considered the feelings she has for me with anyone except her husband.. There's just so much to all of it. She asks me to let her be ad allow her to find a way to get out from behind these walls she has up and make a gop of it.

I'm 33 and male. separated from my wife since January. I met a girl who is 30 and divorced and we started dating right after I split with my wife. Well I fell totally in love with her. And we hit it off great.. The best sex of my life and hers so she says. And that it was so much more than sex. We feel so comfortable together, like we have known each other for our whole lives. Theres no insecurity with each other and we were able to share all of our darkest and saddest thoughts and experiences. Time went on and I began to feel that she was hitting a boundary, and she agreed that she has walls up to keep her heart safe. So we went around this issue. Many times I decided to walk away but try as I did I was not able to do it. She would call or I would and ww would end up back in the same spot. Me with huge feelings and her being skeptical, etc. So we decided that we had moved so quick and that she just could not deal with me being in love with her as much as I am but that she wanted to keep it there because she feels something that she hasn't felt with anyone. So we did this. Now understand since my seperation and that i have filed for divorce I am fnacially wrecked. Moved in with my brother and am trying to find a new job.. So we agreed to slow down and we did. We spent quality time together on dates and she had changed.. She became much more affectionate and closer. Then I went away for a few weeks with the military and we were both so homesick. And we agreed that things were finally progressing the way they should be. So I got back a few weeks ago and we went out, spent a few nghts together, had some drinks and dinner with friends. All seemed well. The out of the blue she tells me that we cannot see each other anymore.. For a few months anyway. SO I see shes back at the whole boundary thing again and she starts to cry, so do I and i'm so devastated because shes not budgig on this. So we go round and round crying and talking and she says tyhat she is not ready to be in love and that she loves me but isn't in love with me and that it is because she has these walls up that she cannot control and that she needs me to give her time to sort all of this out alobe, away from any influence of me or us. And that she cannot live with herself knowing how much I love her and me giving that to her while she is back and forth with it for me. And she goes on how she doesn't want to be like this but she cannot help it and it scares her that she is gonna regret cutting me loose and hate sthat she and I will not be together, etc. But she says she just can't do it, she's not ready and needs time. So we agree to take some time off, away from each other. For me to get back into my life in a positive way and for her to try to resolve these commitment problems and find if she can fall in love with me. SO she asks me to let go, for her, and to wait a while, come back and find her again and see hwat happens and see if we can make a go of it. She cannot promise that this will pan ouyt but she wants to keep this a possibility. I have no choice but to agree. So it's been a couple weeks now and we have not spoken. I got an email last week saying how much this means to her that I am giving her this time and that it was the best thing I could have done for her. I have spoken with her best friend and asked for adfvice and she says that I should not give up hope but that i should understna that she cannot give a commitment. This girl went through a pretty rough marriage and divorce. She still tries to make excuses for things that had happened. I don't know what to do in regards to this time... Should I give up and never contact her? Wait the next 6 weeks or so and call like she wants? I love her and i have only been in love once before and it wasn't my wife. I do not want to lose this woman and feel so out of control now. I am ready to give up hope. I just don't know what to do. Some of my friends say she will come around as soon as she realizes that she's throwing away a good thing and gets past her commitment fears, others tell me to chalk it up as experience and move on, I just don't know...