bubspsu

My fiancee and I were suppose to get married this sept. However she and I had been fighting for weeks straight. The fighting was because she said she had no passion for me, wanted to see other people (because we have been together for so long(7 years)), needed her space, and all that stuff. While we would argue though she would say I love you and I want to marry you just not right now. The thing is I think she was ready she was just scared. Scared that she would hurt me in the long run like her mother did to her father in their divorce. She rattled off so many reasons why she did not want to get married, but to be truthful to this day I still don't know why we broke up. She too is seeking therapy and getting guidance for her life. I am supporting her to do that and part of me feels like we did the right thing for calling everything off and breaking up. If both people are not ready to get married or anyone has doubts, its not the right thing to do. To this day I hope that her and I can work things out, but to be honest I am going to use this time to think about what I want for myself, instead of always thinking about what's best for her and our relationship. So my advice to you guys is to both take the time to see if this is really who you want to be with and spend the rest of your life with. Perhaps you just have some unfinished business to take care of before you start your lives together. Just a thought. I wish you guys good luck as I too feel sad that this happened to me, but I am also taking this from an optimistic point of view and saying that this is a perfect time to reflect on my life and what I want without her in the picture.

Toni, I just found out more information and wanted to know if you have any additional comments. My financee had be diagnosed with depression months before we first started dating. She was on prosaic and was doing therapy and the whole nine. Then, I came into her life and she felt happy. She stopped taking the medication and was able to be happy for the first time in a while. To me it seems that the depression was pushed to the back burner for the time being. When her parents got divorced she escaped the reality of her depression by moving near me and my home. She kind of was using me as a securtiy blanket to keep her problems at bay. The problem is she never found out why she was depressed and never fully got rid of it at all. I feel this had an impact on our marriage not only being postponed but her breaking up with me. I was wondering what are your thoughts on this? My ex-fiancee is now seeing a therapist and probably will be going to see a psychtriast if its deemed that she needs medication. As a person that does love her very much what do you think I should do? Do you feel that its' possible that her past depression could of had an effect on our marriage being postponed? I am trying to come to grips to this as why she has done this all and because she does not know I have no clue. Perhaps your experience can help me relate? "My finacee and I dated for 7 years. A really long time but we started out young and wanted to wait tell we got older before marriage was the answer. Got Engaged about a year ago and then 2 months before the wedding (this september) she tells me she does not have the passion to be with me like a person should and that getting married now is not the right thing to do. She gave me the "needs her space line" and the "I want to see other people so I don't have to regret looking back line". Her parents had a messy divorce when we were early on in our relationship. I think I was 18 and she was 20. Now 25 and 27. To me I felt like she waited so long to tell me because she is afraid of comittment and perhaps has a commitment phobe. What's your thoughts? Do you think her parents relationship affected ours? She currently has just started seeing a therapist to try and work out her "issues". Just curious what you thought why she is doing this? None of her reasons seem to make sense. I know breaking up and not getting married to her is the right thing to do. We have both mentioned that once her issues are figured out that we would maybe give it another shot? What's your thoughts on that?

Toni, Everything seemed right. We dated for 7 years. A really long time but we started out young and wanted to wait tell we got older before marriage was the answer. Got Engaged about a year ago and then 2 months before the wedding (this september) she tells me she does not have the passion to be with me like a person should and that getting married now is not the right thing to do. She gave me the "needs her space line" and the "I want to see other people so I don't have to regret looking back line". Her parents had a messy divorce when we were early on in our relationship. I think I was 18 and she was 20. Now 25 and 27. To me I felt like she waited so long to tell me because she is afraid of comittment and perhaps has a commitment phobe. What's your thoughts? Do you think her parents relationship affected ours? She currently has just started seeing a therapist to try and work out her "issues". Just curious what you thought why she is doing this? None of her reasons seem to make sense. I know breaking up and not getting married to her is the right thing to do. We have both mentioned that once her issues are figured out that we would maybe give it another shot? What's your thoughts on that?

Toni, Everything seemed right. We dated for 7 years. A really long time but we started out young and wanted to wait tell we got older before marriage was the answer. Got Engaged about a year ago and then 2 months before the wedding (this september) she tells me she does not have the passion to be with me like a person should and that getting married now is not the right thing to do. She gave me the "needs her space line" and the "I want to see other people so I don't have to regret looking back line". Her parents had a messy divorce when we were early on in our relationship. I think I was 18 and she was 20. Now 25 and 27. To me I felt like she waited so long to tell me because she is afraid of comittment and perhaps has a commitment phobe. What's your thoughts? Do you think her parents relationship affected ours? She currently has just started seeing a therapist to try and work out her "issues". Just curious what you thought why she is doing this? None of her reasons seem to make sense. I know breaking up and not getting married to her is the right thing to do. We have both mentioned that once her issues are figured out that we would maybe give it another shot? What's your thoughts on that?