relationshipssuck

ok i need some advice, this is a long and different situation, any advise will be appreciated. I graduated from college and went home to save money for a trip. I met a girl, at first wasn't that interested, but she liked me so i stayed with her. I did things for her to make her feel special, flowers and such. Eventually we both really started to like each other, the word love never came out because we both knew I was leaving soon. I left about 6 months later. two weeks later she found out she was pregnant. I called two days later and discovered the news. So I came home as soon as possible to be with her and the kid. I knew that she would need me in this time, and I wanted to be as much part of the pregnancy as possible. Our relationship really changed when I got back. And she dumped me two months later. Anyway a little more background that I either found out after she dumped me or before. I have been told by her friends and family that she was completely different with me, she always talked about me and some of her family thought I might be the one. She didn't want me to leave, but couldn't tell me. I thought about staying but it was too big of a jump with our relationship. She bawled when I left, bawled to her friends and used to come home from work bawling that I might never come back to her. She also emailed me saying that she intended on waiting for me, and that i was the hottest guy she ever met. She was all over me. When I found out she was pregnant we started telling each other that we loved each other. Which I honestly think we did. When I came home she was different, she barely would ever hang out. Maybe once every ten days, and it frustrated me... a lot, so I took a trip to visit my brother at the last second. On hindsight this was a terrible idea, and may have been the demise of our. Well while i was gone she emailed me telling me that she runs when she feels pressured, and she feels like she's in high gear right now. But she couldn't run cause of the child. She also said she had a lot of hope for us. Three days later, when I got home she dumped me. Since then she seems like she changes every time I talk to her. For a while we did not get a long. Then we talked and things calmed down and we planned on meeting aside from doctors appointment for the baby. This was as friends trying to get to know each other for the child...i always had alternative motives. We never did due to circumstances. Then she wouldn't hang out, then we fought, then she was nice and laughing, and most recently when I stopped to say hi she pretty much ignored me...well she seemed really bored talking to me. When we fought she tried to make me a better person by telling me not to go to the bars, or what not. She also told me she knew it was over before I left but stayed with me cause I was leaving soon. Then she said she broke up with me cause she thought she could do better. Every time I asked to hang out, she would say just let it happen naturally. I said it was, but at some point someone had to take initiative. She said let her initiate it. I stopped asking her at that point. I still care deeply for her, and my traditional view says we should be together for our little boy. Its been about three months since she broke up with me. It still stresses me out. I've thought about asking other girls out, but the truth is I'd rather ask her out. I don't think she would be very responsive. Should I work on her, and wait for her....or should I forget her? I realize the most important thing is the child. I will always be there for my child. In fact I'd rather raise the child on my own that have joint custody. But I can't take the mother away from her child, or my child away from his mom. Any advise would be appreciative. I have no idea how to handle this situation. I still care for her deeply, but I can't tell how she is. I guess I understand now, why she dumped me. I did leave her, even though I planned on coming back, but that was in eight months. I also immediately came back after I found out she was pregnant. I still hear from people that she really cared about me...just the other day I saw one of her friends moms boyfriend (can you follow that). He was shocked to hear she dumped me. When he left (the bar) he said that she always talked about me and really cared for me. please help....should I forget her, and just be there for the kid? Shoule I try and just be friends, and ask other girls out? Or should I try and make something happen? Should I wait? I know what I really want to do, but is it the right thing? Its just really hard to talk to her, cause I don't know how she's going to take it. She used to hate it when I told her I still cared for her (after the breakup). At one point I asked her to hang out, she said she didn't know, then when I said I cared for her she said she couldn't cause she didn't want me to think we still had a chance together. I want to ask her what she's scared of, but everytime we get in any type of serious conversation we end up fighting. About the only thing I can discuss with her is the kid. Well I can tell her things going on in my life, but if I bring up anything to do with us, or us in the past, or what going on with us its a fight. So im scared to do it. I hate fighting with her, I hate it when she's not happy. Man I tell you what when shes happy and laughing though...it melts my heart. I love seeing her happy.

Yea I'm thinking of asking her to hang out next weekend. We have a baby's doctor appointment this week, so thats when. Its just really hard to talk to her, cause I don't know how she's going to take it. She used to hate it when I told her I still cared for her (after the breakup). At one point I asked her to hang out, she said she didn't know, then when I said I cared for her she said she couldn't cause she didn't want me to think we still had a chance together. I want to ask her what she's scared of, but everytime we get in any type of serious conversation we end up fighting. About the only thing I can discuss with her is the kid. Well I can tell her things going on in my life, but if I bring up anything to do with us, or us in the past, or what going on with us its a fight. So im scared to do it. I hate fighting with her, I hate it when she's not happy. Man I tell you what when shes happy and laughing though...it melts my heart. I love seeing her happy.

ok i need some advice, this is a long and different situation, any advise will be appreciated. I graduated from college and went home to save money for a trip. I met a girl, at first wasn't that interested, but she liked me so i stayed with her. I did things for her to make her feel special, flowers and such. Eventually we both really started to like each other, the word love never came out because we both knew I was leaving soon. I left about 6 months later. two weeks later she found out she was pregnant. I called two days later and discovered the news. So I came home as soon as possible to be with her and the kid. I knew that she would need me in this time, and I wanted to be as much part of the pregnancy as possible. Our relationship really changed when I got back. And she dumped me two months later. Anyway a little more background that I either found out after she dumped me or before. I have been told by her friends and family that she was completely different with me, she always talked about me and some of her family thought I might be the one. She didn't want me to leave, but couldn't tell me. I thought about staying but it was too big of a jump with our relationship. She bawled when I left, bawled to her friends and used to come home from work bawling that I might never come back to her. She also emailed me saying that she intended on waiting for me, and that i was the hottest guy she ever met. She was all over me. When I found out she was pregnant we started telling each other that we loved each other. Which I honestly think we did. When I came home she was different, she barely would ever hang out. Maybe once every ten days, and it frustrated me... a lot, so I took a trip to visit my brother at the last second. On hindsight this was a terrible idea, and may have been the demise of our. Well while i was gone she emailed me telling me that she runs when she feels pressured, and she feels like she's in high gear right now. But she couldn't run cause of the child. She also said she had a lot of hope for us. Three days later, when I got home she dumped me. Since then she seems like she changes every time I talk to her. For a while we did not get a long. Then we talked and things calmed down and we planned on meeting aside from doctors appointment for the baby. This was as friends trying to get to know each other for the child...i always had alternative motives. We never did due to circumstances. Then she wouldn't hang out, then we fought, then she was nice and laughing, and most recently when I stopped to say hi she pretty much ignored me...well she seemed really bored talking to me. When we fought she tried to make me a better person by telling me not to go to the bars, or what not. She also told me she knew it was over before I left but stayed with me cause I was leaving soon. Then she said she broke up with me cause she thought she could do better. Every time I asked to hang out, she would say just let it happen naturally. I said it was, but at some point someone had to take initiative. She said let her initiate it. I stopped asking her at that point. I still care deeply for her, and my traditional view says we should be together for our little boy. Its been about three months since she broke up with me. It still stresses me out. I've thought about asking other girls out, but the truth is I'd rather ask her out. I don't think she would be very responsive. Should I work on her, and wait for her....or should I forget her? I realize the most important thing is the child. I will always be there for my child. In fact I'd rather raise the child on my own that have joint custody. But I can't take the mother away from her child, or my child away from his mom. Any advise would be appreciative. I have no idea how to handle this situation. I still care for her deeply, but I can't tell how she is. I guess I understand now, why she dumped me. I did leave her, even though I planned on coming back, but that was in eight months. I also immediately came back after I found out she was pregnant. I still hear from people that she really cared about me...just the other day I saw one of her friends moms boyfriend (can you follow that). He was shocked to hear she dumped me. When he left (the bar) he said that she always talked about me and really cared for me. please help....should I forget her, and just be there for the kid? Shoule I try and just be friends, and ask other girls out? Or should I try and make something happen? Should I wait? I know what I really want to do, but is it the right thing?

oh and she did not know she was pregnant until about three days before I called her from my trip....by that time she was three weeks pregnant

I agree the child is the most important thing in this relationship, no matter how the relationship goes. I don't know if I love her enough to always be with her. I'm young, 24, and really don't know what that love is. I do love her enough to try, and I definetly miss her and want to spend time with her. On a side note she is younger than I am, just about 22. If I should go get her, are there any suggestions on how to go about that?

ok i need some advice, this is a long and different situation, any advise will be appreciated. I graduated from college and went home to save money for a trip. I met a girl, at first wasn't that interested, but she liked me so i stayed with her. I did things for her to make her feel special, flowers and such. Eventually we both really started to like each other, the word love never came out because we both knew I was leaving soon. I left about 6 months later. After about two weeks on my trip I called her and I found out she was pregnant so I came home as soon as possible to be with her and the kid. Our relationship really changed when I got back. And she dumped me two months later. Anyway a little more background that I either found out after she dumped me or before. I have been told by her friends and family that she was completely different with me, she always talked about me and some of her family thought I might be the one. She didn't want me to leave, but couldn't tell me. I thought about staying but it was too big of a jump with our relationship. She bawled when I left, bawled to her friends and used to come home from work bawling that I might never come back to her. She also emailed me saying that she intended on waiting for me, and that i was the hottest guy she ever met. She was all over me. When I found out she was pregnant we started telling each other that we loved each other. Which I honestly think we did. When I came home she was different, she barely would ever hang out. Maybe once every ten days, and it frustrated me. then one day she emailed me telling me she had hope for us but she runs when she feels pressured. Four days later she dumped me. Since then she seems like she changes every time I talk to her. For a while we did not get a long. Then we talked and things calmed down and we planned on meeting aside from doctors appointment for the baby. This was as friends trying to get to know each other for the child...i always had alternative motives. We never did due to circumstances. Then she wouldn't hang out, then we fought, then she was nice and laughing, and most recently when I stopped to say hi she pretty much ignored me...well she seemed really bored talking to me. When we fought she tried to make me a better person by telling me not to go to the bars, or what not. She also told me she knew it was over before I left but stayed with me cause I was leaving soon. Then she said she broke up with me cause she thought she could do better. I still care deeply for her, and my traditional view says we should be together for our little boy. Its been about three months since she broke up with me. It still stresses me out. I've thought about asking other girls out, but the truth is I'd rather ask her out. I don't think she would be very responsive. Should I work on her, and wait for her....or should I forget her? I realize the most important thing is the child. I will always be there for my child. In fact I'd rather raise the child on my own that have joint custody. But I can't take the mother away from her child, or my child away from his mom.