ConfusedBloke

I've been thinking about something that's been praying on my mind since my G/F broke up with me (to see another guy) after our three year relationship. Well one thing she had said was that she didnt look at me anymore and want to just rip my clothes off like she used to, more as a friend, so she felt she had to move on to someone else who did do that for her. (that hurt - especially as its a friend and colleague of us both). Well I now remember early in the relationship when we had talked about her previous relationships, she had said that she always ended it when she didnt feel she wanted to sleep with them anymore, which got me a little concerned at the time. Basically it seems that for her that aspect is the driving force and once its gone it's time to move on. I come more from the viewpoint that the raw passion will always lessen, and sure if that's what floats your boat, then you can always keep getting into the new realtionship thing with someone so you continually get that animal lust phase all the time, but surely isnt love something different? I'm feeling like I never had a chance as she would have always been like this and will always move on, i mean we're talking about an intelligent 28 year old woman here, I would have thought that maybe she might have changed. I guess what I'm asking to all out there is, do you feel that perhaps some people are just addicted to the lust/infatuation/passionate honeymoon period, and will always chase that, no matter what they have?, and do you think they can ever change?

All I can say about your comment about "is love doomed if it didn't go right the first time?" is that i know 5 couples who have broken up, and even seen other people for as long as a year and got back together. 2 of them are now happily married They all said the same thing, when they look back they realise that what made them break up was either going to do that or just cause a loveless relationship, basically it had to happen, because without the finalaty of breakup to make them look at what was wrong they wouldnt have fixed it. So maybe sometimes not going right the first time is the only thing that will make it last over the long term.. Well, that's one of the thoughts that keeps me going anyway

Hi, I'm so confused about what to do, I've been in a three year relationship with a wonderful woman, who even followed me to a different country (with work, we work for the same company), well a few weeks ago, she gave me the old lines about loving me, but not "in love", and she needs some time. I was distraught and asked her if someone else was involved, to which she answered no. Well, we broke up (me thinking that a bit of time would heal things), only to find that she started seeing the guy who's my boss! the day after I left the apt, and was a supposedly a good friend! (I'd confided in him a lot during the break-up period). When I look back now, I realise they'd started to become quite flirty with each other the last couple of months, but played it cool, as i didnt want to be the jelous type. To be honest it was round this period when I went through a bit of a bad patch wondering if id done the right thing making her come all this way for me, and felt a bit trapped to be honest, so i didnt really give her a lot of attention at a time when she really needed it (new country, no friends etc). Well the reason I'm here is of course I'd like to be back together with her, I never stopped loving her although this recent hurt she's put me through is testing me, but the problem I'm facing is this guy has it all, he's really nice (or at least to all aprt from me), rich, good looking, funny, intelligent, I suppose the only downfall he has is a reputation as not being too faithful. I'm not sure how to compete? Plus the fact that my two best friends have gone from my life is leaving me a little down to say the least. Any advice? and also I was wondering, could it be that she is in a type of rebound relationship with him, as he is giving her the love and affection i didnt give her for a while back there?