sorry long post, Need help with my mother.

Ok, I guess I can say, the relationship between me and my mom is pretty much just ok, Things used to be awesome, but a few years ago, she hurt herslef at work and can never go back, she is on pain medication daily, And everyone has tried to be very supportive about it, she never really talks to her old friends at work, and doesnt leave the house much, she has been gaining wieght, and is very depressed, We all understand and try to be there for her, but she always thinks everyone is ganging up against her, she always tries to tell the rest of my family (bros and dad) that nobody loves her and we dont respect her anymore, which isnt true, we do everything for her, And i can understand how she is feeling, I dont blame her, she is always alone when Im a school and everyone is at work and she has no one to talk too, She Always wants us to spend time with her, but she wont do anything but watch tv, and that is the only way she will spend time with anyone else. Nobody else is relaly a tv watcher in our family especially her kind of shows (gardening, quilting, home shopping network, trading spaces etc...) and she gets upset if we dont like to watch them all the time with her. Basically I only get around 4 hours a day to do stuff I want to do, becasue of work and school and I am restoring a car btu she expects me to spend all of my time watching tv, I just try and even everything out.

Here is the big problem now, that you have some background info, Now that I have a gf, she seems to be really jealous of me becasue I want to do things with her, Me and my gf had planned to go out for dinner and a movie on saturday, and my mom seemed liek she was ok with it, but then suddenly started yelling at me and grounded me for no reason, just saying I dont spend enough time with her, SO now I cant do anything with my gf, she seems o be doing everything so I am miserable and cant do anything with my gf.

What I need to know is how I should handle this, I understand how my mom feels, i know that she is lonely, and is going through a very hard time in her life, and im trying to help her with it, but I would liek to have a life too, and right now, I would like to have a relationship with my gf, How should I handle this?

wow. your mom sounds just like my boyfriends mom! WOW.

However the difference is my boyfriends mom NEVER EVER injured herself. She just stopped working 10 yrs ago and all she ever does is make herself the victim.

It must be a horrible to feel useless since she injured herself at work. Maybe she can't go back to "work" but she can occupy her time by learning a hobby, something.

At first and still now, my boyfriends mom was/is so jealous of our relationship. She always says things like "G (my boyfriends initial) I havnt seen you in so long are you even my son?"...At first it almost broke us up, (weve been together since he was 17, were 19) she would ground him for no reason too and never let him stay out.

As he became older he grew more resentment towards her and when he turned 18 he was like "let me live my life". They are fine with eachother but he resents her for not doing anything for herself or the family and he now does whatever he wants, but her "guilt trips" are always there, except they dont work on him anymore. She would go as far as cyring and throwing fits....now she sucks it up and understands it.

What you need to do is explain to her how you feel and that you understand her, but that you shouldnt be punished for what happened to her. she'll definitely try to pull a guilt trip on you and throw some sort of emotional tantrum. She must be really depressed. My boyfriend smom is too, she sits at home and all she does is watches tv, buys things compulsively, doesnt clean, cook, work, and is 5'1 and now weight 215lbs.

The mroe you start standing up for yourself, without being harsh, just firm. The more she'll get it. In a year you'll be an adult and she'll either have to accept that and be in good terms with you, or your relationship will go sour.

As for your girlfriend, I hope she's as patient as me, cause it sure didnt happen overnight, and we have had some rough times because of her, but he finally said "hey im an adult and im sorry you let yourself go and Im sorry your depressed, but no one can change that but you, and now itsmy time to live my own life"

think about it. I wish you the best of luck