Healing time for a confused gay guy

I had posted in the Getting Back Together message board a few weeks ago that my ex dumped me about 5 months ago was asking all kinds of question regarding his personality right now, how I should act in our "friendship". I was comfortable chatting with him on the phone for a few weeks as "friends" but last Fri night I came to a realization that we need more no contact time. We I picked him up a few weeks ago to go hang out etc as "friends" and go to see a good friend for her b-day, we ended up spending the night at her place, because I didn't want to risk a DUI, so we ended up in her spare bedroom. I was intent on sleeping on the floor, but my ex wanted me to sleep and be close to him. Then the next morning we got ready and I was gonna take him back home. He kept asking me if I would spend the day with him and hang out more since we both had the day off. I didn't say yes or no the whole way to his house. He kept saying "I wish you would reconsider". And I kept saying I didn't feel that good and that I wanted to go home. Well by the time we got to his place I changed my mind and we hung out that day. He asked me later on that day if I would take him to a sex shop...I did and he bought a porno video with, get this...older guys (he's 20 and i'm 22)...didn't bother me since we're "friends" now, but I still thought it was weird. Fast forward to last Fri night...I came to the realization that we need a good bit of time more with no contact (I'm thinking 6 more months) although I may call him in 3 to check up briefly. He said he wants to date more and have a life, and get this, he said it doesn't matter if they're gorgeous or not. I didn't know what that was suppose to mean unless he wants a sugar daddy. Anyhow, after I told him this on the phone (he seemed quite shocked) and wrote him a letter Sat night and pretty much cleared everything up. I told him that I'll always love him and I will always remember the times we spent together fondly and I wish him safety and good health and all that. I didn't say to write me back or anything like that, so I guess I left that open...like he can write me back if he wants to. It seemed that I was getting along better in our no contact period. As soon as I started talking to him again after a month or so I felt like I started "waiting by the phone" again. Every telephone ring I checked the caller ID to see if it was him. 98% of the time it wasn't. I don't want to feel like that anymore. I don't want to always wonder exactly what he's doing or anything like that if he's not my bf. That's why I feel like I at least need until after christmas before I call him again...if I do...I feel like he should be the next one to call. We need to heal our wounds. Am I wrong as the dumpee, for feeling this way. It kills me inside but I have to keep at this

Also another thing I was wondering. Is it normal to not want to date even after being broken up for such a long time? I mean I notice hot guys in public, who doesn't...but I just don't want to date and be in a relationship for a good while. Is this normal?

Also, when I told him that I needed no contact for a long time, he said that he didn't want that, he said he wanted to hear from me and that we was afraid I'd move or he'd move and we'd lose touch with each other and not be able to find one another. This didn't affect me this way, I felt like I really needed to do this for my wellbeing- and I'm the dumpee! I feel that this time will give me a chance to heal and become stronger and to fix the things that are wrong, and it gives him a chance to move on with other people. I hate thinking about that last part, but it's inevitable.

well, I don't know I am not attracted to the same sex but it's all the same.

What you've decided to do in terms of taking more time for NC is good. It doesn't matter that your ex says that he doesn't want to lose contact with you....it's not about him anymore, it's about you and only you. If you think that it's going to be better for you to forget him and heal better, take the time for yourself, don't contact him at all....I've done this NC thing for a month after my ex broke up with me....and I must say, I feel so much better...

Althought the tricky part is that when you don't talk to that person, or see him or hear about him for while and you think that's it, it's over - what happens if you inadvertantly bump into him? I see two options, I'll be killed by my past emotions or I'll realize that it's indeed over, 'cause nothing in my heart moved when I saw him.....so two options, but the more I don't see him - the healthier I feel.

Think about it.