Am I too strict with my friend's son?

I know it's not my responsibility to discipline someone else's son, but if I am house-sitting/babysitting for 5 days while they are travelling, is it ok for me to take away his video game if he throws a temper tamtrum? It feels so awkward and he hates me, but he is 9 years old and behaves the way his parents allow him to. Am I really helping the situation or just hurting my relationship with him? It feels like such a tight spot to be in. I have my own children too, so I feel I know what I am doing, it just feels confusing when it's not your own. Any advise?

Although I am only 19 I know what you are going through. I think you are doing the right thing. You should have told him from the begging that as long as you are in charge your rules apply and then set the rules with him ahead of time. And maybe you should have talked it over with his parents also. Not sure if you did this or not but its a good idea, that way when they come back the son cant play you agianst them or visa versa.

I have the same problem I live with my bfs little sister and shes almost 11 years old and she treats my daughter like crap. My daughter is only 16 months old. And she always teases her and is just plain mean to her. I have tried disiplining her because her parents dont. There too old to disipline plus shes the baby of her family. Anyways shes basically jealous of brie and because I tell her to stop being mean to her and stuff then she totally hates. But I dont really care, thats because she needs to learn.

I have tried posistive reinforcement too that sometimes work. I suggest you try the possitive reinforcemt first then try the negative.

Good LUck with this I hope this helps you.

I'm not a parent yet, but it sounds to me like you're doing the right thing. First of all, if he's spoiled and his parents let him get away with anything, you should probably talk to them about it. Secondly, continue disciplining him cause that's probably the only way he'll learn. If he's going to be spending time with you, he's going to live under your rules.

Don't expect his parents to be ok with it though. I remember one time my aunt disciplined my brother for something, and my parents got REALLY mad and stormed out of the house. Of course, that was a different situation, where they were in the house, and they are different people. Just remember that his parents may not take it lightly, but that is why you should talk to them. If they don't listen, that's their choice.

The replies are helpful... thank you Jamiegirl for confirming what I think was right. And I hope you don't lose hope with that 11 year old and Brie. My favorite line that helps children not personalize their anger towards you is to tell them "that behaviour is not acceptable" - instead of just telling them not to do something. How you word the instructions can help children look more clearly at the right and wrong of something, it can be more effective if we say it with a worldly perspective - then they don't blame the deliverer so much. I actually have told the 9 year old ahead of time what to expect, and reinforced that I will do everything I can to make him happy - and I also won't take unacceptable behaviour. Turns out he wants to go swimming today - so we are leaving soon to go to the public pool. I think he gets it... it's just a slow process. And thanks too Themegchan I appreciate your advise. I can only do what I know is right...

All my best

Well, I have 2 daughters and my first born is 8 years old. I know what you mean by not wanting a kid to run the house as they are little kings and queens and want everything to go their way all the time and they want it now!

Sometimes when my wife and I are just too busy trying to do everything in our lives (job, house, chores, etc) and when our little 2 year old baby take all our attention we let our daughter have her way just to have some peace. If we let her have it too often or too long she get used to it and start replying to us in a bad way, she start having her bad moods, she become difficult and she give us trouble. She never really do it with me because I'm the authority in the house but my wife do get it when I'm gone. When this happen I know I've let too much rope go her way and I just take it back. Of course its a lot of small fight, I become the "bad daddy" but then everything get back in order and we can resume being an happy family.

The way we deal with our kids of course is different from the way we deal with other people kids. Of course those parents puts their son life in your hands while they are away so they trust you. The thing is that you don't have to raise him like they do, all you need to do is to make sure he have everything he needs while they are away. You're around to take care of his everyday needs, not to take care of his education. I know thats what I would expect from a babysitter that would take care of my childrens. I also know that I will let my babysitter have her way, even if a little strict, if it ensure the safety of my childrens. No physical punishment of course but I wouldn't like my kids running around the house without any rules applied (like an appropriate bedtime hour).

I really think you should make it clear with the little king that with you there are some rules that apply when you're taking care of him, just like there is some rules when he is in school. The way you make the rules apply is up to you. If taking his video game is what makes him go your way then I see no problem with you doing it. You're not trying to raise him, you're trying to have a good time while doing your job, not having to fight for everything. You choose the way to enforce the rule you judge being good him. As long as you're not beating him then I think a little discipline will not hurt him. In fact children crave for this kind of attention, they know that if they follow the rules everything will be alright and their world become a routine they like, but still they love to breake them just to see how far they can go.

Some parents just don't have the time or the energy to raise their children. Life can become crazy like that those days. They are counting on the ones they trust (school, babysitter) to do the best they can for their son and the best you can is not giving him everything he wants, its judging what is good for him.